I received an ARC of this anthology in exchange for participating in the review blog tour.

This charity anthology collects a number of various stories centered around the theme of (Not) Coming Out. As already stated in the summary of this anthology it contains stories across genres from poetry to short fiction (mainly contemporary fiction, one historical fiction, sadly nothing that really dove into speculative fiction, which I think could have added an interesting layer) to memoir and essay pieces as well as a variety of voices from across the LGBTQ+ spectrum, including explorations of aromanticism and aegosexuality, as well as multiple trans identities (including one trans woman).
Some of the stories are uplifting and focus on community and acceptance (We Exist - Nil Digante, Stereotypes & I Love You - Samantha Maich, 3 in 4 - Robyn Hill), others are about being closeted, exploring both the potential benefits (The Closet - Breanna Guinta & The Gates - Sarah Fletchins) and the downsides (Bullies - Brandon Shane, A Life Lived in Secret - Kate Foot & Cruising - Felix Graves), which I found interesting, as that is something that is often only portrayed as inherently negative.
My favorite pieces in here were Kaylee in Love by Priscilla Kint (a short story following a young lesbian pining for a straight girl, while it is rather typical in its portrayal of being gay in highschool, I really did enjoy the exploration of knowing that this is not a relationship that can happen but being content for the time being because for now it is what the MC needs), Unspoken Birdsong by Airic Fenn (a short poem about not coming out to parents as trans* and finding identity in just being yourself unspoken and letting people react to it), Baby Steps by Sky DuVall (a story about a trans man's slow internal coming out and about the fact that coming out can also be a journey instead of a sudden realization), A for Effort by A Lynn Rosefinch (a short lyrical exploration of finding a word for being Aegosexual and experiencing sexual attraction in a way that is considered to be unusual) and Quite the Actor by Felix Graves (a short poem about a trans man coping with an emotionally abusive mother, while finding strenght in the fact that her complete ignorance of his actual identity refutes some of the negative things she believes about him).
And while not all of the other stories worked for me (some where not my style of literature, others (especially some of the poems) were just incredibly short), I still found myself enjoying the stories here, touched and moved by some and entertained by others, and if you're looking for a queer anthology exploring the theme of Not/Coming Out in a variety of facets you will find it here and I can definitely recommend checking this anthology out!

This review is also published on my blog t4treads!

Disclaimer: I received an e-arc of this book by the publisher Tenebrous Press.

This book accompanied me on my trip to the ocean last week and I honestly can't imagine a better place to read this (except directly on a ship in the middle of the ocean maybe). The prose is lush and inviting, painting the ship in such vivid detail that I was often picturing myself in Isaiah's place (that I was actually able to smell salt water while reading probably helped make it even more immersive, but even if I hadn't been by the ocean, I think I would have been able to picture it clearly). And yet the prose never becomes over the top or takes away from the flow of the story, which I found really well done!
The story follows the crew of the Merciful after they find a living man in the belly of a whale and as if that wasn't unsettling enough soon things will take a turn for the worse. The horror of this book is incredible! It is so tense at times that I found myself nearly unable to put it down, reading nearly every free moment during my vacation until I had devoured it. It is also one of the few books where the horror I read actually turned my stomach (during one of the more... gross and horrifying scenes of the later third of the book I found myself so unable to put it down and so I read on while waiting for a plate of seafood I had ordered at a restaurant... I would not recommend recreating that experience unless you have a strong stomach! I am still glad I hadn't gotten anything with eels, but yikes that scene! Amazing and again, I loved it, but wowzers, was it gross!). I loved every second of this book, from the tense and claustrophobic scenes to the very gross ones and the tender ones as well.
It takes the best of ocean horror (the incomprehensible vastness, the isolation, the many, many scary things down there, the fact that you cannot leave) and combines it with a scathing critique of capitalism and its horrors (its incomprehensible vastness, the isolation of work, the many, many scary things in it, the fact that you cannot leave) as well as body horror (the isolation of being disfigured/disabled/a visible other, the many, many scary things that can be done to a human body, the fact that you cannot leave your body) into a masterful creation following one sailor as his ship turns into a haunted house filled to the brim with inevitable creeping dread and the knowledge that one way or another you are stuck and truly and utterly fucked. In the middle of it there are also some tender and lovely scenes, which enabled me to breathe deeply and hope, before I was tossed right back into the stormy waves of horror and I adored that as well.
So if you can I would advise you to take this book to the ocean with you this summer, sit in the sun and shiver from terror as you find out what exactly happens to the Merciful and its crew.

I listened to this as an audiobook, which in parts enhanced and in others probably devalued my enjoyment of these horrifying tales (All not ready for example really benefitted, the poems didn't really work for me in audio). This anthology prides itself as an inclusive anthology and in fact it does feature quite a few diverse perspectives, but I was missing disabled voices and just kept waiting and hoping for a story to showcase some horror with disabled characters, but unfortunately that never manifested. Instead there was one story (Nightshopper by Michael Hanson) that used euphemisms such as "heigh-challenged" to describe fairytale creatures such as gnomes or "ocular-challenged" to described monsters with only one eye, which just felt very bad, particularly considering there are no disabled characters in the anthology itself. I did like that there were two stories featuring trans women (one of them clearly ownvoices and it really benefits from it!), but I disliked that the only trans man in this anthology is featured in "The Asylum" by Holly Lyn Walrath as a side character where he (and others that then also lay claim to manhood) is constantly referred to as part of "the women" in a group setting, which just left me with a very bitter taste in an anthology like this. Another issue I had was that "Scrape" by Denise Dumars, a story that follows a japanese woman and mentions the anti-asian hate crimes as results of the covid pandemic is written by a white author, which did not sit right with me, due to its heavy focus on these recent and violent events.
Having gotten that out of the way, I can definitely say that there are a few very interesting and cool stories here. My favorites where "Mudflappers" by Usman T. Malik (the story follows a small community by the seaside as they fight against a violent fishing syndicat, very good, very gruesome, really liked it), "Kalkydisa" by Larissa Glasser (A story about a trans archeologist who finds herself to close to history as she excavates an ancient roman battle field) and "The Voices of Nightingales" by M. E. Bronstein (a dark academia story about translation and the dark history that can hide behind some languages) and all three are authors I will be checking out. All in all an interesting anthology, but I just expected a bit more from it than it delivered.

Now following this will be my notes, ratings and trigger warnings for each story (since I listened to an audio book, I don't have a full list of the chapter titles, so if there's any typos here or I misunderstood any, please let me know!):

Other Fears by Christina Sng: A short story that deals with domenstic abuse and escaping said abuse through becoming the murderer, interesting, but I disliked some scenes that imply love as what makes us human (veeery nitpicky, but that trope just always bothers me), otherwise interesting and lyrical, 4/5 stars
tw domestic abuse, violence

Idiot Girls by Jennifer McMahon: this story follows two closeted sapphic girls, one lesbian, one girl that holds onto heterosexuality desperately bc of a homophobic religious mom (has sex with a girl but says shes not normally like this, she only likes boys), discovering a neighbours dark secrets after he catches them kissing, fun, great spooky ending, interesting, 4/5 stars
tw murder

Waste Not by Alma Katsu: a story about a woman discovering a dark secret at her mother-in-laws house, very dark and tense and good!, really built a claustrophobic and threatening atmosphere, which I loved, 4/5 stars
tw murder, hoarding

Nightshopper by Michael H. Hanson: a trans woman working delivery for an elect group of costumers, if you know the podcast Monstrous Agonies this might be interesting to you in that aspect, interesting and mostly fun, but I dislike the disability-ish references to the various monster qualities (height-challenged, occular-challenged, it just seems bad :/), also be warned for graphic transmisognystic assault, 3/5 stars
tw financial precarity, job loss, covid pandemic, transmisogyny, transphobic violent assault, slight islamophobia

Scrape by Denise Dumars: A japanese woman moved to mexico with her girlfriend after the covid pandemic, when a new and stranger new illness begins to spread and she finds weird growths on her body. I wish there had been a bit more to this one and when I looked up the authors and found out that she is most likely white, it felt a bit iffy to have so much focus on anti-asian hate crimes during the covid pandemic, 3/5 stars
tw death by cancer, anti asian racism due to covid, covid pandemic, murder, body horror-ish, weird surgery practices

Mudflappers by Usman T. Malik: a violent fishing syndicat that attacks a small community when they dare protest against their practices, to protect her family a grandmother reveals a secret, veeeery good & gruesome, 5/5 stars
tw murder, violence, racism, colonialism

Churn the Unturning Tide by Annie Neigebauer: slight theme of pregnancy as body horror which was fun, but not really the focus of the story, which was interesting to have a horror with a pregnant woman where the horror is not from the pregnancy, a pregnant woman does watergymnastics when something appears in the pool, unsettling and weeeeird, but fun! 4/5 stars
tw spiders, peer pressure, unsafe food consumptions

Theres only something in the woods by Gabino Iglesias: three people are in a cabin in the woods and tell stories about murderous creatures in the forest after seeing something weird, rather typical creepypasta swag but with latinx characters which made it better tbh, 3/5 stars
tw drugs, violence

The Turning by Hailey Piper: this story follows a young girl as her body changes into something strange during puberty, a very clear queer parallel, heartbreaking and good, 4/5 stars
tw body horror, unsupportive family, attempted murder, parental abuse

Help I'm a Cop by Nathan Carson: A cop gets beaten up while busting a party and has flashbacks to what brought him here, the flashbacks to his childhood were gross (8 yo desires gym teacher, 12 yo wants to have sex), he becomes a cop and does a police brutality and we're supposed to excuse that because his dad was rude and homophobic? Weird weird weird story. Idgaf for sad gay cops and I really hated the way csa was handled, 1/5 stars
tw physical violence, physical child abuse, threats of csa (excused bc the kid wants it), animal murder, police brutality

Miss Infection USA by Shanna Heath: a beauty queen contest for teen zombies is one of the only ways to escape being sold to a meat factory or a brothel in this post apocalyptic world, quite gorey, there is a zombie in a wheelchair, who is treated badly and feels kinda yiiikes, 2/5 stars
tw: necrophilia, rape, csa (+ threats thereof towards mcs)

All Not Ready by Tracy Cross: fun kid sci fi as they try out a new immersive program during recess, 4/5 stars
tw: graphic violence

Illusions of the Deevolved by Linda D. Addison: a short poem, interesting but veeeery short, 3/5 stars

Black Screams, Yellow Stars by Maxwell I. Gold: a post-facist america where black people and jewish people are being killed by people clad in white hoods, veeery creepy, but I would have enjoyed a different ending a bit more, 4/5 stars
tw slavery, lynching, murder, antisemitism, kukluxclan

Kalkydisa by Larissa Glasser: A trans woman archeologist in Germany is excavating an ancient roman battle field when the past comes to life, t4t (she meets a historican studying transfem music history, which was great!), tense and fun!, 5/5 stars
tw mentions of transmisogyny but no reproduction on page, past suicide attempt, heavy physical violence

The Devil Don't Come with Horns by Eugene Baker: a story set in a small town following a young black boy, a young biracial girl and the racist boys harassing them, the end was left really open and I would have liked more, but I liked the atmosphere, 3/5 stars
tw racism, animal murder, violence

Invasive Species by Ann Dávila Cardinal: A man is upset about the new residents moving into his neighbourhood, it was okay, but not really that interesting to me, 2/5 stars

The Asylum by Holly Lyn Walwrath: A story following people locked up in an asylum for being perceived as hysterical women where they are given hysterectomies and lobotomies following them as they deal with their existence locked up, features trans men but misgenders them as part of the group of "women", okay I Guess, felt weird how we are told there are trans men there but it doesnt matter to the story at all, otherwise rather boring, 2/5 stars
tw misgendering, gore, self harm, suicide

Tiddlywinks by Stephen Graham Jones: a group of teens is driving to a small gather when a cruel game has violent consequences, soooooo relateable tbh, fun, a good slasher, 4/5 stars
tw violence, gore, animal murder

Where the Love Light Gleams by Michael Thomas Ford: a haunting story about a man returning to his home town and finding himself in an alternative world instead, sooooo fucked up and fun! 4/5 stars
tw: murder, homophobia, what if your evil double was straight?

It Comes in Waves by Jonathan Lees: very lyrical, about a party at a beach where bodies have been appearing this summer, fun and fucked up, I liked it, 4/5 stars
tw drowning, homophobic bullying

The Voices of Nightingales by M.E. Bronstein: a dark academia story about learning an ancient language and uncovering its dark history, swag & veeeery fucked up, very fun, dark academia at its best! 5/5 stars

What Blood Have Wraught by S.A. Cosby: a story about working overnight in a dinner when a weird costumer enters, I did like the tension at first, but then I really didn't like the storyline of (deserved) generational slaughter and inherent evil, 2/5 stars
tw: slavery, past rape, past csa, graphic murder

Incident at Bear Creek Launch by Tananarive Due: Scary grandmother, starts good but I did not really vibe with the ending? 2/5 stars
tw: child abuse, racism