Disclaimer: I received an e-ARC from netgalley in exchange for a review.

Phillip, a thief with the ability to remove body parts from other people makes his living through extortion. When he accidentally steals the nose of a young man named Wycliff, that he can’t help feeling a strange pull towards, he soon finds himself involved in the search for the young man’s missing sister Adeline. We follow him as he grows and changes, discovers things about himself, his powers and the world and people around him.
An interesting YA gothic horror novel, which in particular explores abuse of power and how to survive in an unjust world. Through the isolation that Lucent forces onto Phillip, the sexual/emotional/physical labor Madame Beatrice demands of Adeline and Wycliff while keeping them captive to the murder and actual doll-ification of Nyx and Adeline by the marquess, the feeling of somebody wanting to pull the character’s strings is constantly, crushingly present. It made this novel feel really claustrophobic and the characters’ actions feel desperate and understandable. I have to say I enjoyed the horror aspects a lot more than the romance/friendship aspects as these felt a bit underdeveloped at times, but since I prefer horror to romance I was fine with that.
The story mostly follows Phillip as he discovers his identity, from his insecurities in himself while he was an egg and the immense joy and relief he feels once he manages to feel secure in his identity. I do wish he had been a bit more affirmed by the other characters, especially since his worry about his trans identity became somewhat overlapping with his worry about lies he told about his past. I would have liked a clearer distinction there. In general this story combines a rather fast paced identity discovery in a world where there are no words for trans people or any other queer communities with a later attempt at passing through the use of magic and focusses much less on the internal struggle and strive of coming out, which I found an interesting approach.
I also wish there had been a bit more of an exploration of the magic system. In particular there is one scene that does not fit with Lucent’s narration of where magic comes from ([spoilers] it is implied that Phillip was able to pop of limbs already as a baby [/end spoilers]), but this interesting storyline is not pursued further and ends up simply ignored, to the point where I wonder if it was just a plot hole, instead of a different approach to the magic system. While it is only a very minor aspect and not a big deal, I found myself caught up in wondering if this was going to be addressed and found myself disappointed when it wasn’t.
I also enjoyed the first two parts of the story more than the last part and found that the story wrapped up a bit too fast and neatly for my personal tastes. However, I still enjoyed reading it and think this was a fun trans fantasy horror YA with interesting pacing, a really fun premise and a good execution, despite my minor issues with some parts.
Finally I want to say that I do think that this book does need an additional trigger warning for suicide, which is not given, but it does play a (very minor) role in the past backstory of a character and another action can be interpreted that way and so I do think this should have been warned for. As always however, I find it very good that the author decided to include trigger warnings in the book, I enjoyed that!

TW: alcohol abuse, abuse (physical, emotional), blood, coercive control, deadnaming, death (on screen), gaslighting, gore, murder (including attempted murder of a child), sexism, transphobia, sexual abuse (implied), suicide, violence

 full review to come but i loved it! this service android is transfeminized and going through it, but despite the horrors there's still love and care. made me cry! 10/10, would read again.

tws for abuse (sexual, emotional, physical), ableism, body horror, cheating, confinement, deadnaming, ego death, depersonalization/dehumanization, depression, dissociation, dysphoria, incel behavior, incest, injury, loss of autonomy (in particular to speak/move freely/resist commands), mind control, misgendering, neglect, objectification, psychological horror, sexual assault, violence. 

 Disclaimer: I’ve received an ARC copy by the author. 

Aiden has left his past behind. Not only has he switched places with his twin sister after running from a murder committed in self-defense, but Masika, his only friend, the first woman he fell in love with, disappeared, leaving him behind. He has been trying to rebuild his life, lay low and deal with the downsides of such an isolated life, when Masika knocks on his door again, asking if she can stay with him. 

Masika has a dark past to say the least. Raised by a deeply abusive grandfather, she was imprisoned at 14 after stopping an attempted rape and murder of her next-door neighbor. The only friend she made in prison, trans woman on death row, is killed shortly after her release. Followed by a short period of happiness where she lives with her father and meets Aiden, she runs away, looking for a way to transition, but ends up in even worse company. 

While the thriller parts of this book were not always entirely realistic, they were interesting and tense and kept my attention well throughout the book. The way the flashbacks to Masika’s and Aiden’s life before their reunion where interspersed with their current attempts of building a better future for themselves, left me deeply worried and on edge for their happiness in the best way. I enjoyed the romance aspects and the personal development aspects even more than the thriller aspect and really had a great time reading those parts, even if it wasn’t always easy. I also really enjoyed the way mental illness, disability, identity and trauma were explored in this book. The writing (and especially the narrative voices of Masika and Aiden) were deeply interesting and well written. 

All in all, this was a thrilling read with great main characters, explorations of trauma, messy main characters with troubled pasts, disability representations that I adored (what I’m assuming to be heds (cane user & chronic pain haver) + schizoaffective disorder & autism!) and a t4t (where the t stands for both trans & trauma), autistic4autistic romance that made my heart sing with joy. 

TW: can be found on the author’s website here: https://authormicahflowers.com/content-warnings/ 

 Disclaimer: I received an e-ARC from netgalley in exchange for a review. 

Grace starts junior year with more struggles than most kids. She came out at the end of the last school year, ending in a breakup, her leaving her football team and having to adjust to losing most of her friends. When she’s asked to rejoin the football team, being one of the best kickers in the state, she sees a chance to be herself and do what she loves. But what does it mean to be not only the only out trans women in your school, but the only trans woman out in your sport? 

The story follows her through her school year, painting a fascinating picture of friendships, sports, transition, queerness, self-discovery and acceptance, the pressures of being closeted, and the stress that comes with going to college. I really like Grace as a main character. Her (former) anger issues, the way she sometimes has to decide not to stand up for herself in order to not cause a scene, the joy she feels when she’s on the field, her trying to figure out her future, all add up to making her a really intriguing character. 

I also enjoyed the side characters, including artsy Tab, who doesn’t appreciate Grace returning to her life with the jocks initially, Zoe, her ex-girlfriend, who seems to be questioning her sexuality and Dray, one of her friends on her team. The only character that I felt was a bit underdeveloped was Grace’s dad, who didn’t get to play as big of a role as I hoped he would, mostly appearing in the background, being supportive (his character development was really nice to see though!). 

Even though I am someone who doesn’t really play sports (or watches them or cares too much about them etc) and as someone who doesn’t have any experience with the American school system, I really enjoyed the way sports were presented here. While some references are certainly more understandable for people more involved with football, everything was presented accessible enough that I could easily follow the story. By both focusing on the personal joy and fulfillment Grace finds in the sport as well as focusing on the camaraderie (or the lack of it) of being part of a team the narrative managed to draw me in and keep me engaged until the last page. 

All in all, this is a very fun YA novel and if you enjoy sport or high school stories, want some YA with trans women (a rare treat), like coming of age stories or want to read about the epic highs and lows of high school football, then you should check this book out! 

TW: alcoholism, anti-muslim bias, deadnaming, injury, sexual assault, transmisogyny, transphobia, violence