The Bear and The Nightingale meets Uprooted. This was enchanting, engaging and downright wonderful. I loved it.

review to come

I have a few nits to pick, but overall, this was pretty good.

review to come

Did this live up to the hype? For the most part, yes.

If you've managed to go the last couple months without hearing about this book, you're going to have to tell me what rock you've been living under. Children of Blood and Bone has been the most talked about book on my social media since the Sarah J. Maas book I didn't care about - and people have been loving it.

I've been in a bit of a reading slump of late, (busy schedules don't really make for a lot of reading time) and I picked this book after hurting my wrist bad enough that I needed to take an entire week off to rest it. It was supposed to be the book that got me out of my reading slump, and it did it's job beautifully.

WHAT I LIKED
. The Worldbuilding
COBAB didn't waste time with unnecessary exposition to tell us what kind of world we were in. It build it's world in dialogue and action and bite sized descriptions - the best way to do this imo.

. The Politics/Themes
This book is highkey about racism, colorism, and peoples' habits of wanting to crush anything they don't understand. It was unapologetic about it, and didn't waste its time with metaphors and analogies. It was great.

. Amari
Amari was a great character - with the potential to grow into something greater. The quiet Princess who dared to defy her racist megalomaniac father and the rest of her race in their hatred of the darker skinned Magi was great. She was painted as the princess who saw the hate around her and disapproved of it, but never really did anything about it until it hurt her - and then she grew. I liked her. I'd like to see more of her later on.


WHAT I DIDN'T LIKE
. The Pacing
I have no idea what's going to happen in the rest of this series, but as it stands right now, this book felt like two books smushed into one. There was a much meatier story to be told if these books were split in two. We could have had a lot more backstory - a little more insight into who these characters were (especially Inan. I'll get to him later) Because of the rush, the narrative had to tell instead of show a lot - which was sad because the things it told us would have been so much more powerful if there'd been more time to build and solidify - but I don't think Adeyemi had much choice here.

.The Romance
In general, the romance was forced, and largely random. There was next to no foundation to any of it, and I found myself wondering why I should care - which is not the reaction you should expect of a shipper.

Especially in the case of Inan and Zelie. It was pointless - and cringey. We were never told what the special connection between them was, and it moved so dang fast, it was borderline insta-love. One minute they were trying to kill each other, the next they were making out behind waterfalls. What the eff!

.Inan
Talk about a waste character. Inan had the potential to be an even better character than his sister - the potential to be on par with Collis Reed from the Broken Trilogy in terms of complexity and dynamics. But, like most things with this book, even his arc was rushed to all hell, and he was never fully fleshed out.

Between the unnecessary romance, the too-soon betrayal, and his constant hopping from one side of the coin to the next,

 Inan was the skeleton - no, the promise of a good, important, character in this series, but a promise not kept.

---

Overall, this was a good read. It was fun, fast paced (a little too fast paced, if you ask me) and compelling. It lulls a little in the center, but the action-packed ending has made me determined to read the next one.  If you want a diverse, #ownvoices, original world fantasy, then definitely check it out - it'll be fun.

PS: The similarities between this book and Avatar:TLA are huge. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing yet, so I'm listing it here instead of on the lists.

This review and more here

I received this book from Usborne in exchange for an honest review.

Deep Water follows Danni, a girl who’s forced to temporarily move into her quirky father’s eerie town when her mother suddenly goes missing. In her search for her mother, Danni discovers that there was a lot more to herself than she ever imagined.

This book was intensely atmospheric. I read this during one of the hottest months this year, but this book never failed to transport me to the damp, gloomy town of Ancrows – where the weather was wet and the people were strange.

The elements of magic in this book felt natural, and tied together well with the strange town and its inhabitants. A lot of this book’s success was owed to the setting. Ancrows was eerie and discomforting in the best way – which is why I’ve recommended this book to fans of Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners Of The Earth. You know that feeling of unease and mystery that you feel the minute Jack Walters arrives in Innsmouth? This book has some of that. It’s great.

It is, however, a Middle-grade book, so it didn’t get too heavy on the dread. In terms of giving readers a modern take on old folklore, Hersey did a great job. It still held some of that old wonder, but with a modern twist, which was nice.

This is a book that you could race through. Hersey’s writing style is simple, and the plot doesn’t dawdle about unnecessarily. I wasn’t a big fan of the characters, but the story and the world building completely made up for that.

All in all, Deep Water was a nice, compelling read that I’d happily recommend for anyone who likes myth, folklore and stories about family. For me, it wins big points on atmosphere alone, so I’d go as far as to say that I’d buy it for my younger cousins, who are the book’s intended audience. The way this book transports its readers will knock their socks off.

This review and more here

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Suicide, Rape, Depression

Sometime in 2012, I put this book firmly on my "Do Not Touch" list. This was a decision was, partly, made with my mental health's best interests at heart (I was going through a bit of a spiral) and partly because a lot of people I trusted told me this was a terrible, problematic book.

Turns out they were right, because this book was a goddamned shitshow.

I'm writing this, seething. I am so beyond angry with this book, I cannot collect my thoughts. So forgive me if this review doesn't make the most sense and/or gets a little repetitive. I'm just going to type out a list I jotted down in my rage last night. (I'd just post pictures, but my handwriting gets illegible when I'm pissed)

REASONS WHY I HATE THIS GARBAGE BOOK AND WANT TO SET IT ON FIRE

1. IT IS IRRESPONSIBLE AS FUCK
When you've got a book that heavily revolves around a girl taking her own life, you have the chance to bring attention to mental illnesses and suicide. You have the chance to talk about the importance of getting help, and building a support system. This book did literally none of that. It trivialized suicide.

Hannah Baker's suicide served only two purposes:
1) As fuel for Clay Jensen's character development (if you could even call it that)
2) As a "mystery" plot device to drive the story forward. To quote @ladydisdain: "Feels too much like titillation"

2. CLAY JENSEN IS SUCH A NICE GUY
Clay Jensen is probably the most insipid, whiny narrators I've ever had the misfortune of knowing. He's a self-righteous, annoying White Knight hero who, like Hannah Baker, somehow manages to make every goddamned thing about him. I was in a constant state of wanting to punch him in the face with a cinderblock. This motherhugging shoeslipper spent the entire time listening to Hannah's tapes and periodically interjecting with baleful, "BUT I-"
"I WOULD HAVE-"
"I NEVER-"
"YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME-"

Wahh wahh wahh. me me me. EVERYTHING was about him. just stfu and listen to the fucking tapes, you self-righteous whiny git.

3. HANNAH BAKER WAS THE ACTUAL WORST
This bitch. This raging bitch. Hannah Baker was wholly unlikable. She was petty, vindictive, and I would have clocked her with my bare fists if she weren't already dead. SHE WAS THE WORST. Don't believe me?

She wasn't depressed. Not one time, NOT ONE SINGLE TIME, does this book mention depression. (Trust me, I looked). And neither does Hannah show any signs of being depressed. As someone who has been depressed, and knows people who suffer from chronic depression, I think I'd know. No. Hannah was a self-made victim. She collected "reasons" to commit suicide (more on this later), and then meticulously planned her post-suicide messages to people who'd wrong her.

Essentially, she killed herself to exact revenge on this group of people. So that she could throw these tapes at them and leave them with guilt and proverbial blood on their hands. It was premeditated man. REVENGE SUICIDE. I shit you not. It's all kinds of fucked up, and a terrible message to send. (more later)

She chose to hide in a closet and watched a girl get raped without lifting a finger to stop it. And then, not even an hour after that, was also complicit in the death of another student - which, again, she could have prevented - and then chose to shovel the blame fully onto Jenny Kurtz's lap.

Boo hoo. What a tragic life you lead, Hannah. Poor you.

4. REASONS FOR COMMITTING SUICIDE. LOL
Would it have been too much to ask that Asher did some research on the subject he chose to feature in his novel? Seriously?

People don't commit suicide Because of Reasons! That's not how this works! Depression is not a frickin flowchart of Tragic Events that lead you to suicide. Ever heard of a downward spiral, bub? Because that's what it fucking is. It's everything all at once. It's a constant, heavy pain and sadness that feels incurable and unshakable.

Everyone, especially teenagers, feel the way Hannah Baker does at some point. Bad things happen sometimes. We get sad. This is not what leads people to commit suicide - but good job at telling people that suicide is the answer for this kind of temporary malaise, man. Great work, telling people that it's totally normal to connect every sad thing that's happened to you, however small, and use it to justify taking your own life. KUDOS. TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE WRITING

fuck off.

5. OTHER PEOPLE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH
But that's not what this book will have you believe. One of the biggest messages this book tells you is that your mental health is someone else's responsibility.

I mean, why else would the baker's dozen of reasons for her suicide be other people?

Why would Hannah go out of her way to get people to prove that they cared about her enough to convince her not to kill herself.

Why would the whole "If Clay had expressed his feelings to Hannah maybe she would have opened up to him and not kill herself" thing because such a loud, repetitive message in this book?

Why would she have said the words "Some of you cared... but not enough" (or some variation of this i'm not freaking opening the book to check)

Hannah took no responsibility for her own mental health. The one time she reached out to someone for help, it was a fucking test. It wasn't a real reach. She just wanted to see if he'd respond the way she wanted him to. She was upset when people complimented her haircut instead of immediately wrapping her up in their arms and going, "NO BBY DON'T KILL YOURSELF"

The narrative didn't even hold Hannah responsible for putting her mental state on other people - without their knowledge, even. It actually read like it sided with her. No, you precious little angel. You do not have to seek help. Other people should telepathically sense that you are suicidal, even though you're barely showing any signs of it, and they should reach out to YOU. It is their duty!!!

This is an incredibly harmful, damaging thing to teach people. Don't do it. People can help you. Support systems are important, so important for people who are suicidal. But no one can help you if you don't want to be helped - if they don't know you need help.

6. TRIGGERING CONTENT, BUT NO HELPFUL MESSAGE
Books that talk about suicide and depression are okay! Books containing triggering content and treat such content in a respectful manner are okay! Warn people that the books contain triggers, and tell a good, meaningful story. Telling stories about things that happen in real life is important. Helping people through stories is important. It's all good.

You'd expect for a book like this, a book that deals so heavily with suicide - that has the flipping dead girl narrating most of the book - you'd think it'd have an important message to tell its audience. BITCH YOU THOUGHT. There is nothing even remotely enlightening or educational within the pages of this book. This book does absolutely ZERO to bring attention to the importance of getting help.

It does not tell you that it's possible to get better. It doesn't tell you that there are people who can help. It doesn't talk about the benefits of reaching out to a professional. It doesn't tell you that suicide is not the answer. The exact opposite, in fact.

This book puts its readers through a difficult, triggering journey, with absolutely meaningful reward at the end. There is no reason for anyone affected by this subject matter to read this book. NONE. You will gain NOTHING from it. No encouragement. No lesson about mental health. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

7. REVENGE SUICIDE !!!
You know the old adage? Cutting your nose off to spite your face? Yeah. That.

Hannah Baker did not kill herself because she was depressed. We've already been over this. Girl wasn't depressed. Just angry and prone to self-victimization. She held on to offences to a point where they were all she noticed, and then one night, went home and DREW UP A FUCKING CHART, and decided that she was going to kill herself and blame it on a group of people she knew from school.

Yup.



And from then on, she spent a hefty chunk of her time recording the fucking Guilt Tapes she was going to send them. It was vindictive. It was spiteful. The whole thing was premeditated, and a hundred kinds of fucked up. She didn't care about telling the truth. If she did, she would have just written a note and made sure the people who'd hurt her couldn't do the same things to someone else. BUT NOOOoooOOOoo. She sent them tapes that they were ASKED TO KEEP TO THE LIST MEMBERS.

8. GLORIFIES SUICIDE, BUT RAPE IS BRUSHED PAST????
I've already mentioned that this book doesn't bring any attention to mental illness and suicide prevention. No matter how you slice is, Hannah Baker wasn't depressed. She was, however, a super speshul beautiful girl who took her life because horrible people were horrible to her and poor Clay Jensen the Knight in Shining Armor never got a chance to tell her his true FEEWINGS.

That's it. This book tries to sell itself as a advocate for mental health awareness, but it's not. It's a fucking Manic Pixie Dream Girl story with a side serving of suicide and Sadness.

So while this book is busy going all "LOOK HOW SPESHUL HANNAH IS Y SHE KILL HERSELF SO SAD" it goes and does something that is unforgivable in my eyes. It completely brushes past rape.

In her tapes, Hannah condemns a boy for allowing a classmate to rape an old friend of hers. Condemns him for not stopping it. Condemns him for not saying anything after. She tells him that it weighs on her. And she tells him it's one of her reasons for killing herself. Boo fucking hoo because well YOU KNOW BITCH? You were hiding in a fucking closet watching the entire thing happen!

And for those of you who are rushing to the comment section to tell me that she blamed herself for this, too - Save it. Hannah fucking Baker went on to send the rape victim a tape because she STOPPED BEING FRIENDS WITH HANNAH. AND she also went on to describe the rape - which the girl probably didn't even remember happening SO GREAT JOB HANNAH, YOU JUST TRAUMATIZED A RAPE VICTIM WHO YOU COULD HAVE SAVED. FUCK YOU.

but through all this, the book doesn't talk about Jessica. The book barely touches on the rape. Clay goes from "Oh, poor Jessica" to "OH NO HANNAH I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU HAD TO SEE THAT" in a heartbeat. It's bullshit.

9. DOESN'T DEAL WITH BULLYING RIGHT
I'm sure I don't have to really explain this one much. I'm sure you've all gathered from all my previous posts.

But let's just assume for a moment that this book was intended to be a message about the harmful impacts of bullying. Honey, it's like you didn't even try. Or if you did, it was a laughable effort. What a joke.

10. REACH OUT, GET HELP
I'm saying it because this book won't. It's too busy telling you that people should magically notice you're in need of help. It's too busy telling you that when you do, they're not going to take you seriously, and they're going to show you that they don't care. It's too busy telling you that professionals/adults are the villains.

This is a lie from HELL.

There are people out there who will do whatever they can to help you. They will listen. They will be there for you. They will talk. If they themselves cannot help, they will help you find professional avenues that will help. You are not alone. It does get better. But you have to be willing to be helped. Do not listen to the lies this shitstain of a book tries to feed you. There IS a better way. You are important. You are loved. You matter.

11. FUCK THESE TAPES. SERIOUSLY
Beyond the fact that the premise of these tapes is vile and disgusting - they also make no sense??? Like, literally why would you send a suicide Blame Game tape to a rape victim, a boy who stole a poem (????), and A BOY WHO LEGIT DID NOTHING BUT BE NICE TO YOU AND, BY YOUR OWN ADMISSION, SHOULDN'T EVEN BE ON THE TAPES ANYWAY, but not to, oh you know, the actual rapist????

PLEASE, for the love of all that is good, someone explain this to me. As much as I loathed Clay, he didn't deserve to be on these tapes, now put in a place where he would spend his days plagued with blame and what-ifs. Jessica didn't deserve these tapes. I mean, so she believed a rumor and slapped you. Big whoop. You watched her get raped. Tony sure as hell didn't deserve to get these tapes. He was just fixing his car!

In her death, Hannah Baker had the chance to make amends. She could have sent the tapes to the authorities. She could have helped put a rapist away before he hurt anyone else. She could have made Jenny Kurtz face the consequences of her actions for what she did that night after the party. BUT NOoooo.

As I said before. Hannah Baker didn't care about the truth. She didn't care about helping others. She just wanted to punish people.

12. I SHOULD NOT BE HATING A SUICIDE VICTIM THIS WAY
I cannot even begin to tell you how much I hated myself when Marcus said the words "Hannah just wanted an excuse to kill herself". Because honestly, my first thought was "yup"

Suicide is a terrible, terrible thing. For someone to feel so low and so heavy with despair that they don't believe that there's any way out but death? It's tragic. It's so incredibly saddening. "They just wanted an excuse to kill themselves" isn't something I ever want to think about a suicide victim.

But this book is the reason why you'll find people saying stupid shit like that when true tragedy strikes IRL. This is what irresponsible writing does. How many people has this book convinced that this is how suicide and depression work? That it's systematic and linear like this - that it's REASON-BASED??? This is the kind of damage a book like this does.

I didn't want to think this of Hannah Baker. But that's how she was written. Hannah Baker literally wrote up a list of reasons to kill herself. I mean. what the hell kind of message is this. Do you see how problematic this is??

13. IT'S NOT EVEN WELL-WRITTEN
Here's one of the worst parts of this entire thing. I could understand the massive hype surrounding this book if it had been beautifully written. If the prose was sweeping and evocative. If the words on this pages inspired heart-wrenching emotion.

LOL.

The writing was juvenile. Filled to the brim with all that tell-not-show shit that I just L O V E. It was compelling only because of the "find out who's next" nature of the tapes. But that's it. There was legit nothing I could find that could justify the rabid fans of this book.

I don't get it.



TO CONCLUDE:
This book was a dumpster fire waste of my time. I am angry. I am seething, and I have no idea how I'm going to go into the TV series with an open mind. It's gross, and disgusting, and fuck anyone who tries to tell you it's a responsible, meaningful story about mental health and suicide. It fucking isn't.

I worry about any teenager who reads this book, and I'd set this on fire if I didn't read it on my kindle.

PS: If I have said anything hurtful, or inaccurate about depression or suicide, please tell me. I understand that my experiences, and those of my friends, do not make me an expert on the matter. Mileages vary.

This review and more here