I was a little nervous going into this. Just with how some people spoke about this.

But as soon as I started this I was captivated. I didn’t want to put it down. In fact I stayed up until 4am reading this. Which never happens with me. I usually can’t read early hours of the morning. I just needed to know how they story ended.

This book didn’t feel over 500 pages. Which I love. I hate when a book feels too long. This had the perfect pace for me. You got to learn enough throughout the book. Everything building up for the final scenes.

I loved the characters Lou, Reid, Ansel and Coco. The relationship Lou and Reid developed just got me in the feels. I’m glad it wasn’t insta love that would have ruined it for me. This felt the perfect enemies to lover. In my opinion. Nothing felt rushed for me.

Ansel is the sweetest boy. I want him protected at all costs.

I will say the twist regarding Reid surprised me. I don’t know how I feel about that yet. I think I need to read book two and see how that unfolds. Then I will be able to give my opinion on that.

DNF 67%

This story was very intense and raw. Difficult to read at times. Kate Elizabeth Russell does an amazing job at depicting the horrific abuse Vanessa went through. Including the mental manipulation that even as an adult in her 30s she still struggled to live a somewhat regular life and struggle to accept what really happened. The power imbalance between Strane and Vanessa still in affect over a decade later.
The characters Strane and Vanessa felt so real. In Strane’s case disgustingly real. The way he always found a way to pass all the blame onto her. Making her feel guilty for questioning his behaviour.
“The power you hold over my life is immense. I wonder how it must feel to go about your day, masquerading as an average college girl, all the while knowing you could destroy a man with one well- placed phone call. But I still trust you. I wouldn’t send an incriminating letter if I didn’t.”
Even when she finally says it out loud to him.
“Well, it’s your fault, you know,” I say. A pause. “Ok.” “Everything wrong with me originated with you.” “Let’s not do this.” “You created this mess.” “Baby, go to bed.” “Am I wrong?” I ask. “Tell me I’m wrong.” I stare up at a water stain stretching across the ceiling. Finally, he says, “I know it’s what you believe.”
Strane even puts so much doubt into her mind. That it’s her fault if someone else shows interest. That she caused it. She is to always be blamed.
“Vanessa, stay away from him,” he says. I screw up my face, fake indignation. “What are you talking about?” “Be a good girl,” he says. “You know what you’re capable of.”
Throughout the book there are moments Vanessa knows the truth. But it’s like she is too afraid of what that truly means. My heart broke for her. She was so young and he preyed on her. Using her insecurities. Even up until the end. He never gave her a chance.
“I just really need it to be a love story. You know? I really, really need it to be that.” “I know,” she says. “Because if it isn’t a love story, then what is it?”
I can’t say I enjoyed this. This isn’t the type of book you enjoy. It’s a,book that leaves you uncomfortable. A book that stays with you. It’s so well written.
Throughout the book I just wanted to take Vanessa away from him. Protect her. Help her see the truth. Get to the point of acceptance. To where she can start to find a way through it. To stop letting him ruin her life.

This book is everything I needed. Powerful, impactful, loving, thoughtful, comforting and heartwarming.
It's simple but means so much.
You can relate to the characters.
The artwork is stunning. I would happily have on my walls if I could.
I would recommend this to everyone.

I decided to not read the synopsis before reading this. I think it sometimes helps when it comes to mystery thrillers to go in blind. Unsure of what to expect.
This felt a little slow at the beginning. But I think considering things happened straight away. I think it was mainly my mood that cause that feeling.
However I soon got my intrigued by this. I just kept reading and reading. Managing to finish this within 6 hours I would say. I just wanted to see where it ended.
When it came to twists there were a few I didn’t expect. Especially the final reveal. But at the same time I wasn’t really theorizing. Until a character was mentioned then I felt like I knew who was the murderer. But I was wrong. I didn’t once suspect the actual killer. I don’t think I had a reason to. Which I think was the point. She even says as much.
I will say the run up to the end felt a little messy. Like too much was happening and being revealed at once. Which got me a little lost for a second. I had to re read a page or two to get back on track.
Overall it was a decent read.
One thing that I hope was just the arc and not in the final copy is the POV from the murderer. In my ARC those POV would start just like it was a normal next sentence. Not a break or new page to indicate a new POV. Which confused me at times.

This was a random pick up. I was struggling to find a book I wanted to read. This was everything I needed. I flew through this. If I wasn’t so tired I would have stayed up all night to finish it in one night.

This was a heartwarming read. That made me laugh and smile.

I don’t think I’ve read a book with a character with Asperger’s. This is an own voice’s too which made it even better.

Michael is just adorable. He was a great man. Always asking for permission. We love a book that is normalising consent. We need more of that in books. Michael was so lovable. How much he cared for his mother. The way he treated Stella.

His relationship with Stella was so cute. The way he took care of her. Wanted the best for her. Wanted to see how amazing she is.
Stella herself is amazing. Stronger than she thought. She was relatable regarding her social anxieties. Which I struggle with.

I thought about possibly giving this 4 stars. But I couldn’t. There was only really a tiny thing I didn’t like but not big enough to take off a star.

The only thing I didn’t like was Phillip love triangle. It wasn’t needed and he was a terrible character.

The conflict between Stella and Michael I can see why some didn’t like it and found it weak. But to me it made perfect sense. The insecurities both characters felt throughout the book causing issues. Them overcoming those issues and seeing they are perfect for each other.

I’m excited to read more by this author. I’d happily have another book with these characters. Or maybe a book about a side character.

Definitely need to by a physical copy and read it again.