This book was so good that I don't think I could write a good enough review. So here are some quotes that I loved from it. Spoilers, most definitely.
.
.
.

"All these kings would do a deal better if they would put down their swords and listen to their mothers."

" 'You want her? Go get her.' So he did."

" 'Why come back?' A dozen quips came to mind, each crueler than the one before, but Jaime only shrugged. 'I dreamed of you,' he said."

"No one sang the words, but Catelyn knew 'The Rains of Castamere' when she heard it."

"The white tears and the red ones ran together until her face was torn and tattered, the face that Ned had loved."

" 'No.' Tyrion's voice was hoarse. 'Sansa is no longer yours to torment. Understand that, monster.' "

"Oh? Is this something I'm allowed to know, or should I leave so you can discuss it with yourself?"

"The little old woman reached up and fussed at the loose strands, tucking them back into place and straightening Sansa's hair net."

" 'Your husband's been arrested.' 'Tyrion?' she said, shocked. 'Do you have another husband?' "

"In King's Landing, there are two sorts of people. The players and the pieces."

"Lady Olenna was not about to let Joff harm her precious darling granddaughter, but unlike her son she also realized that under all his flowers and finery, Ser Loras is as hot-tempered as Jaime Lannister. Toss Joffrey, Margaery, and Loras in a pot, and you've got the makings for kingslayer stew."

"We don't want to rain pebbles on the whoresons."

" 'They plotted it together,' she said, this girl he'd loved."

"My giant, I had to call him, my giant of Lannister."

"That is where you err, my lord. I have been on trial for being a dwarf my entire life."

" 'The truth is, I wanted to watch you for a time before pledging my sword. To make certain that you were not...' '...my father's daughter?' If she was not her father's daughter, who was she?"

"I never wanted this, he thought as he stood before the blue-eyed king and the red woman."

" 'Thank you, Brother,' Tyrion said. 'For my life.' "

"Now that's where you're wrong, Father. Why, I believe I'm you writ small."

" 'My sweet silly jealous wife,' he said, chuckling. 'I've only loved one woman, I promise you.' "

"Lady Catelyn's eyes never left him. She nodded."

Just…wow. So thorough and detailed but fascinating and captivating at the same time. I missed my favourite Imp, but I understand why he was left out of this book. It is wonderful to hate Cersei through her POV chapters, truly. I hate her much more strongly than I ever did watching the show. And the twists and turns are wonderful. I love how developed and complex the characters all are, right down to the most minor of characters. It is an art. I’ll end this review with one of the best quotes of the series: “fire consumes, but cold preserves.”

Reading this book has been a long time coming. I first read it in my elementary school library at age 11 or 12, the memory is hazy. But I sat at the back round table next to the bookshelves and read it, excited for more of Rick’s writing. At the time, I was unimpressed.

For some reason, I decided to pick it up again yesterday. I read a paragraph and I was hooked. I finished the entire thing in less than 24 hours. This book is amazing. I can’t wait to read the next two and then discover his other series which I have read only parts of.

If you’re debating reading this and you love mythology…do it. It’s hilarious and magical and a whirlwind of a journey that leaves you wanting more. I’ll end this review like many of my other reviews, with a favourite quote from the book.

“You see gods have great power, but only humans have creativity, the power to change history rather than simply repeat it.”

A little slow at the begging but by the middle it picked right back up. Thrilling and hilarious, as always. Sadie’s obsession with a certain 600 year old God is very relatable and hilarious. Rick does teen girl crushes very well. I’ll end with a couple of my favourite quotes; hopefully spoiler-free.

“ ‘I don’t need a protector.’ ‘Rubbish,’ I said. ‘That’s macho bluster and all boys like to be mothered.’ “

“ ‘My name is my identity,’ she said. ‘The sum of my experiences.’ “

“But if they do kill you, at least enjoy the experience!”

“Words are the source of all power. And names are more than just a collection of letters.”

Hypothesis: I will enjoy this book. Result: I was correct. This was entertaining and delicious, I couldn’t put it down. Although I really wish we’d gotten The Night from Adam’s perspective!

Also as a current grad student the academic portrayal was very relatable. I’m horrified to say that I snorted out loud at “how much do you hate this, on a scale from one to ‘correlation equals causation’?” That’s what happens when you TA statistics.

Not to mention: “The more I mention an attachment in an email, the less likely I will be to actually include said attachment.” Why is this so true?

I’ll end with one of my favourite quotes. Possible spoilers for this one.

“Thank you for taking less than ten minutes to reply to my emails, every time, even when it was 5:30 am and you misspelled “consensus”, which is unusual of you and makes me suspect that maybe you were still half asleep.”

Ohhh man. I was slightly iffy at the start but it became so addicting so quickly. Hades is just….”No one prays to the God of the Dead, my lady, and when they do it is already too late.” I don’t have enough words to describe Hades. So I’ll just finish with my favourite quote.

Possible spoilers.
.
.
.

“How?” she demanded. “What did you do to help me?”

“I worshipped you!” he yelled.