elouisedouglas's Reviews (721)

This is possibly one of the most passionate books I've read in a long time - the subtitle was "A love letter from a black preacher to the whitest denomination in the U.S.", and that's exactly what it felt like - a love letter.

A book that raises as many potentially 'controversial' points as this one could easily be seen as provocative and argument-starting, but the whole book is written from a point of love.

But love doesn't mean you accept everything about someone, and this book is a huge challenge specifically to the ELCA (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America) but really to all of us.

A huge part of the book deals with issues around racism, but it also steps into other areas like LBGTQIA+ discrimination and toxic masculinity.

There were so many lines that shook me and made me stop to let it sink in. I'll try not to share them all or I'd probably be sued for plagiarism, but one line that particularly struck me was this:

Talking about our failings (personally and corporately) can and will be uncomfortable, but it's not worse than the alternative which is allowing racism to continue unchecked.

Duncan wrote a really good section on how even though we may not be actively racist against people in our congregation, we're doing it without even trying.

We need to do better as a church at not white-washing the bible. This may be hard for some to let go of, but the fact remains that Jesus wasn't white. We do ourselves no favours when we depict him as white on our church walls and in our sunday schools.

In the section titled "Grace is an ever-widening circle", Duncan says:

I've had this book on my wishlist since it came out and I seriously wish I'd read it before. It is definitely the kind of book that will need multiple readings - there's just so much packed into its 150 pages, but man was I floored by so many points. Intensely personal, but deeply challenging, I think it's a must read.

I'll leave you with this final quote, which seems particularly apt right now as all our churches are closed for another lockdown.

Seriously, if you want to be challenged about how you see the church, read this book.

As seems to be the standard in this series, we start this book with another opening chapter which is a flash forward to the future. 

It becomes clear pretty quickly that we're at a wedding. But what is not quite so clear is *who* is getting married. To start with, I was leaning towards Tess. But then Charlie arrives. And then Nick arrives. What is happening?!

Then we flash back a few weeks, and we find out that the wedding is Kekipi and we breathe a sigh of relief. Having to read the whole book to find out who Tess was going to marry would be too much stress!

Since her last trip to Milan and her first gig as a paid photographer, Tess has not quite been living the life she thought she would. She's now an assistant to a photographer called Ess, who is not exactly the nicest person to work for. It's not the new life that Tess imagined.

And what makes that more galling is that Tess' best friend Amy is living an amazing life in New York with her new job working for Al and planning the launch of his new fashion line.

So when Amy asks Tess to join her in New York for Christmas, Tess doesn't really have much to lose. 

A lot happens in the next week or so, and I won't get into too much detail to avoid spoilers. But it's fair to say that there were a lot of moments of laughter at the situations that Tess got herself into, some cringing seeing that she is getting completely the wrong end of the stick, and a lot of heart felt moments that made me want to give Tess and Amy a big hug.

I think this is the last book in the series and that makes me a little sad as I'd like to see more of how Tess gets on with the decisions she makes in the last chapter, but the epilogue was enough to keep me going. This was such a good ending to a fantastic series.

Posted on: https://emmaloui.se/2020/11/08/lindsey-kelk-a-girls-best-friend/

Following on from the first book in this series, What a Girl Wants starts with another dramatic opening. Tess and Amy are in a prison cell, but we have absolutely no idea what has happened in the lead up to this moment. We're then transported back in time and left on tenterhooks waiting to catch up.

Definite spoilers for the first book here, so back away if you haven't read the first in the series yet!

At the end of the first book, Tess has left Hawaii and Nick has left Tess. But when she gets back to the UK, Charlie is there waiting for her, and he has figured out that he wants Tess to be his girlfriend.

It's quite an abrupt change from Charlie's mood before Tess left for Hawaii, and Tess is not sure. This probably has quite a lot to do with the handsome Nick who has gone awol and is not answering her calls.

Charlie also wants to go into partnership with her on a work basis too - putting together their own ad agency, and while she was in Hawaii, he already has clients lined up for them.

Then Tess is offered an amazing opportunity to fly to Milan to work on a project with Al, the fashion designer she was working with in Hawaii. He seems to have a soft spot for Tess and it's her dream career.

When Charlie tells Tess that he loves her and her reaction is not exactly ideal, she decides to fly out to Milan for a week for this job. And who would be there but Nick...

I won't go into too many more details before I spoil the whole book, but what I will say is that I found it very hard to judge characters throughout this book. I swung wildly between thinking Nick was amazing, to thinking he was a complete idiot, to wondering if he was behind one of the shadier parts of the storyline.

I also had my misgivings about Amy, Paige and Kekipi, so you can probably tell I found it quite hard to predict how this book would end.

I'm so glad I have book 3 to move straight on to this weekend, I can't wait to see what happens for Tess next.

This book was just what I needed, taking me away to Hawaii for a day and away from the miserable grey rain outside - it genuinely made me feel so happy.

The book starts with quite a dramatic opening where Tess' life seems to be coming to a *slight* dramatic point and just when you're wondering what the heck is happening, we skip back in time to when the whole tale started.

Tess is the kind of woman who has a plan for her life. She's completely dedicated to her career, and just about to start her first day of her new promotion - Creative Director at the ad agency where she's worked for years. 

But that's when things start going wrong. Instead of being shown to her new office, Tess is shown the door. And without giving too many spoilers, that's not the only thing that goes wrong - it seems like life is falling apart for poor Tess.

But then an opportunity falls into her lap and she just can't say no. The next thing she knows, she's on the beach in Hawaii, flirting with an attractive (yet seemingly full of himself) man called Nick, and drinking cocktails with her new gay best friend Kekipi. 

The only minor flaw in this otherwise perfect plan is that Tess is currently pretending to be her photographer roommate Vanessa, and it seems like a matter of time before she's found out, given how this trip to Hawaii is a working trip and she's expected to know what she's doing.

We follow Tess through a somewhat rocky week of highs (that secret waterfall scene anyone? 😍), and lows (like arguing on the phone with her best friend while drunk in the toilet of a club 🤢). As I mentioned before, I felt like I was in Hawaii following these ups and downs with Tess, the book was so well described that I could almost feel my toes in the sand.

The book ended on such a cliffhanger, and I was absolutely gutted that I didn't know how Tess' story would end, but then thankfully I found that it was part of a series! And even better for me, the second book was available on my library app for free - that's the rest of my weekend sorted! I absolutely loved this book and can't wait to read more.

Posted on: https://emmaloui.se/2020/10/31/lindsey-kelk-about-a-girl/

I've been trying to make more of an effort to educate myself on topics that are out of my comfort zone. It's become abundantly clear this year thorugh many things that have happened that it's not enough not to be racist, but you need to be actively anti-racist too. 

And the only way I can think of being able to do that is to educate myself more around the problems that I could not even dream of. 

This book was a very fast-paced read, the author's voice being very compelling and urging you to keep reading and turning the pages. I didn't realise before I started that the author is also from a church-background, which was an extra interesting dimension to me (although I have very little knowledge of churches in America).

Filled with personal stories, I felt my heart breaking many times at the things that she (and other black families like hers) have to think about on a daily basis that I would never have considered.

Like the time she got told off for touching things on a shelf in a shop, then stuffed her hands in her pockets so she couldn't do it again. Then her dad had to explain to her that she cannot touch something in a shop and then put her hands in her pockets or someone might notice and assume she was stealing something. 

Even the fact that her parents named her Austin so that when she applied for jobs, people might assume she was a white man and that would help her get to an interview. I can't imagine having to even consider being excluded from a job because of my name.

When thinking about being anti-racist, it's not just about not slinging insults or judging people, but also thinking about the things we say that feel innocuous, but actually cling to the belief that we are all the same and are based around white culture. The author says:

> "For example, when teachers wanted to drive home the point that we should do something daily, they often likened it to how you wash your hair every morning. It never occured to them that none of the Black girls in the class did this".

This made me think of all the times I may have done something like this inadvertently during youth groups etc, and I definitely need to commit going forward to being more careful with how I speak.

> "When you believe niceness disproves the presence of racism, it's easy to start believing bigotry is rare, and that the label should be applied only to mean-spirited, intentional acts of discrimination."

The author talks about reconciliation and now it's not just about people reaffirming their own goodness.

> "These folks want a pat on the back simply for arriving at the conclusion that having people of colour around is good. But reconciliation is not about white feelings. It's about diverting power and attention to the oppressed, toward the powerless. It's not enough to dabble at diversity and inclusion while leaving the existing authority structure in place. Reconciliation demands more.

And from a biblical perspective:

> "Reconciliation is what Jesus does. When sin and brokenness and evil tore us from God, it was Jesus who reconciled us, whose body imagined a different relationship, who took upon himself the cross and became peace."

I would highly recommend this book, it's not too long and I read it in two sittings, but it opened my eyes to a world that I had no knowledge of, and want to learn more from.

Posted on: https://emmaloui.se/2020/10/25/austin-channing-brown-im-still-here-black-dignity-in-a-world-made-for-whiteness/

During lockdown, I thought I’d have so much more time for doing things like reading and digging deeper into the Bible.

But I’m sorry to say that I’ve completely lacked any kind of motivation and have struggled to either start or finish any of my She Reads Truth books for the last 5 months.

So I was pretty made up to be able to find the time each day to sit down and read the book of Daniel. I was particularly motivated because it’s not a book of the Bible I’ve read before (apart from his trip to the lion’s den), and I thought it would be good to start back with something new that would hopefully keep my interest.

I’m not going to lie, there were a lot of parts that were confusing, but when I paired this book with my SRT Bible, the interspersed devotionals really helped to unpick some things for me.

Very pleased to have read this, and once again, 5 stars for how beautiful and well laid out and thought out the book is.

Posted on: https://emmaloui.se/2020/10/18/she-reads-truth-daniel/

I've had this book on my shelf since it came out a few years ago and I've kept looking past it because I thought it was going to be similar to other books I'd read.

I couldn't have been more wrong. I thought at the start that I had the measure of the book, socially awkward Eleanor and the person who brings her out of her shell.

But I was completely wrong, and in the worst possible way. The book was heartbreaking and left me openly sobbing in multiple points. From the start, we're given hints to something horrible that happened in Eleanor's childhood, but as it's uncovered throughout the book it's more devastating than you could imagine.

As we are introduced to Eleanor, we see that she's not a very fancy person. She eats the same meals each day, wears the same clothes and comfy velcro shoes, carries a shopper with her. She has a routine. Work each day, listening to the archers, 2 bottles of vodka to get her through the weekend to work again. Her life is happy... or so she thinks.

Her life changes when she falls in love with a musician. At least, she thinks she's in love. She's never actually met him. She hatches a plan to give herself a makeover and get his attention. 

And it's while she's doing this that she meets Raymond from IT. He's scruffy and uncouth and not what 'mummy' would say is an appropriate friend for Eleanor, but there's something about him that makes Eleanor feel comfortable, and as they start getting to know each other, you can see her starting to come out of her shell.

That is, until we get to the 'Bad Days'. And O. M. G. That's where it hit me. I won't say anything else to risk spoilers, but prepare yourself because you will need tissues.

This book was a heart-breaking insight into what loneliness is like. And it only takes one person to break through that loneliness and change a life. You never know you could be that one person for someone without even knowing.

Posted on: https://emmaloui.se/2020/10/24/gail-honeyman-eleanor-oliphant-is-completely-fine/

Having seen people I know have to leave a church due to a lack of inclusion and acceptance, I was interested to read this book to figure out what we should be doing better. As the book blurb says “Accessibility is so much more than ramps and physical access”.

The book takes us through each of the senses (including ones I’d never heard of like the proprioceptive sense), and gives helpful tips on how to include people who may have difficulties with these senses, either through disability or through sensitivity.

Each chapter starts with a quote from the Bible which can be related to the topic that’s about to be discussed, and this helpfully frames the topic as a biblical one rather than just any other book on inclusion.

I’ve been reading this book in small chunks for quite a while now, and while the topic was very interesting and well researched and presented, I found it a little hard to engage. I think a big part of it was the the kindle version I was reading had some formatting issues which made it a little disjointed to read – this shouldn’t be a reflection on the book though.

It contained some really good insights and tips that I will definitely be using going forwards – for example including physical motion into youth group sessions to help people settle their senses and be able to concentrate for the rest of the session.

Posted on: https://emmaloui.se/2020/10/17/naomi-graham-love-surpassing-knowledge/

I picked up this book on the recommendation of a few people from Church. As is clearly obvious, things are not normal at the moment and of course Church has been affected by that. Almost every activity we do has been cancelled or materially altered in some way, and as we start to look to ‘the new normal’, it’s the perfect opportunity to take a deep breath and evaluate what and how we’re doing.

As I’m sure it did for the people who recommended it to me, this book gave me so much to think about – there were so many quotes that made me stop and go back to read again that I couldn’t possibly share them all here.

We start with the basic principles that “the basic work of any Christian ministry is to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ in the power of God’s Spirit, and to see people converted, changed and grow to maturity in that gospel. That’s the work of planting, watering, fertilizing and tending the vine”.

But for any vine to grow, it needs a support structure, a trellis. The trellis work includes management, finances, infrastructure, organisation and governance, and as the vine grows, so all this stuff becomes more complex.

As the author says “our goal is to grow the vine, not the trellis”. We’re not trying to just get more people into our church, but to make genuine disciples of Jesus. Our trellis should be supporting, not all-consuming.

I felt slightly floored by the idea that “We should start with the people that God has given us, not our programs”. When someone leaves a volunteering role, it can be very tempting to just try and figure out who should fill that gap, rather than whether it should actually be filled. Instead, we should be thinking about the people in our church and considering what their skills and gifts are and where they could fit.

Then we end up with people doing things that they have a talent for, and not ministries that are staying afloat rather than flourishing.

The book talks about ideas like not having membership of the congregation, but partnership, to develop the idea of all being in it together. Ideas like training being parenting. Loving someone enough to want to see him or her grow and flourish.

The only minor thing that put me off was that when the authors were talking about training and developing, their focus was fully and pointedly on men, and not just men, but men who could ‘pastor their wives’. So not just ignoring women, but also men who don’t want to be married. This may just have been badly worded and not deliberate, but it felt jarring to me.

I don’t want to finish the review there, so I’ll finish my review with the chapter towards the end of the book that shook me, given the book was written in 2009. It started with these words: “As we write, the first worrying signs of a swine-flu pandemic are making headlines around the world.” It continues to imagine a world where public gatherings of more than x people are banned and could be banned for 18 months, then asks the hypothetical question “How would your congregation of 120 members continue to function with no regular church gatherings of any kind?”.

Sounds pretty familiar, huh?

The final question was the kicker: