I wasn't sure what to expect of this book when I first started it. Courtroom novels have never held appeal to me before, but this was getting such high praise that I wanted to give it a try. I'm so glad I did.

First, this book has major content warnings for child death, sexual assault, and physical, emotional, and medical abuse. Y'all, this book is heavy and discusses a lot of intense subjects. Please take care of yourselves.

This book is expertly crafted. The idea that this is Angie Kim's first published work is just unbelievable. Knowing that she inserted much of her own life into the book through several character's experiences doesn't make it any less impressive.

There are several POV characters in this book, and there were times I was a little confused in the beginning of the book, before I really got to understand the different players and how they all related to one another. But the way Kim is able to craft these narratives and weave them together to create such a dynamic and cohesive thread just kept me engaged as I read this book in two sittings.

These characters are so authentic. Every one of them has done awful things and yet there are moments where you feel sympathy for every one of them. That is because they are layered and well-developed. There is no black or white here. Everything is in shades of grey.

There are a lot of discussions throughout this book of what constitutes a 'normal' child, and what, if anything, should be done by parents in order to 'cure' their children from things like cerebral palsy and autism. Now, I could see how parents of children with developmental or physical disabilities may feel strongly one way or another about this sort of content, but I want to say that I think the author does a good job not presenting one argument over another as being 'right'. There are characters on either side presenting their positions, and none of these characters are portrayed as being innocent or justified in their beliefs or actions. It's a really interesting character study that focuses on parents and their attempts to create the best quality of life for themselves and their children, even if those attempts end up being ultimately unsuccessful and potentially harmful.

The plot of the book is interesting mostly in the way that it is structured. I like stories that revolve around a singular event and getting the story of each person present at the event and seeing how their stories differ, whether it is because of deception or merely a different perception. I think fans of books like Big Little Lies would appreciate this story as well.

This book also reminded me of Celeste Ng's books in the way that it discusses race and social structure in the United States. The author herself moved to the U.S. from Korea at a young age and a lot that was in the book came from her real life growing up with parents who were working all day and night in order to succeed in America.

And back to the courtroom scenes. I was nervous that they would be dull and dry. They were actually some of my favorite scenes in the book. The book actually uses graphs and illustrations to portray different evidence exhibits. I appreciated the visual. I listened to this on audiobook but I did follow along quite a bit with the physical copy for that reason.

If I have to point out a negative, it would just be that the ending felt the slightest bit drawn out. After we kind of find out what happened (although it's not the *whole* story about what happened) the book goes on for another 100 pages or so while several minor points are clarified in other POV chapters and the reality of the situation comes into focus. It's a minor quibble, and I enjoyed my reading experience with this book, but I did feel a slight drag about 2/3 of the way through the book.

I did love that the ending isn't all tied up neatly with a bow. There are repercussions to people's actions, but just like real life isn't always fair, not everyone in this book gets the comeuppance they probably should in a fair world. But that's life. Even when justice has ultimately been served, there are going to be things that fall through the cracks.

That being said, this book is heartbreaking and hopeful at the same time. There is a passage in the book that uses a Korean word 'han'. It's described as 'an overwhelming sorrow and regret, a grief and yearning so deep it pervades your sould--but with a sprinkling of resilience, of hope'. That is the perfect description of my feelings toward this book.
It's obvious that the author took a lot of care here to make sure that her characters came across as authentic, flawed humans. I will definitely read whatever she comes out with next.

Reviews comparing this to Black Mirror are apt. While I appreciate what this was doing, knowing that it had been compared to Black Mirror made the reveal partway through the short story pretty obvious and took away any tension that had been created prior to that moment. I still enjoyed it, although in our current political climate it wasn’t actually as preposterous a premise as it should be.

Second Edit: 1/8/20 Yeah, as time passes I realize that I was giving an entire star to the audiobook. I still think the story is interesting, but it hasn’t stayed in my feelings the way I hoped it would. Bumping down to 3 stars.

Edit: I’m leaving my rating at a 4, but I have the feeling if I were to re-read this book I would probably bump it down. I still think the audiobook is well-done and I would totally watch this as a movie, but I really don’t think I would’ve enjoyed it nearly as much if I’d tried to get through the physical copy.

Original Review:
So, I don't have the best history with TJR's books. I liked Evelyn Hugo, but thought it was way overhyped as a 'romance' book when the main relationship was actually quite dysfunctional. I wasn't fond of Maybe in Another Life because I wasn't a fan of either ship, which was kind of the point of the book. liked After I Do quite a bit, and before this book would've said it was my favorite TJR book. I loathe One True Loves and don't understand the love this book gets AT. ALL.

So when I went into this book I went in with supremely low expectations. Yes, everyone and their mother has been raving about the audiobook for this story, but they are also people who loved her other books, so I didn't have high hopes.

I am so glad I was wrong and so glad that I gave this book a shot. I think it's absolutely my favorite of her books, and it's not all that close.

I love stories about bands from the 60s, 70s, and 80s, whether real or fictional. Everything from the music, to the band fights to tours to groupies to break ups...everything about it just intrigues me. This book had all of those elements and executed it really well.

The main characters were interesting and complex. Flawed would be an understatement. They just all felt very real. I will say that some of the more minor members of the band didn't feel quite as fleshed out as Billy, Daisy, Karen, and Graham, but I still enjoyed them.

This story being told as a series of interviews was an interesting format that I think has pros and cons. In one way, I really enjoyed it, specifically as I listened to this on audiobook. It reminded me of those tv shows that chronicle famous people and groups, which I am a total sucker for. However, I don't think this would've been as successful for me if I'd read the physical copy of the book. I honestly feel like it would've lost some of the magic for me. That is absolutely because of the actors portrayals of these characters. This wasn't just someone reading a story. These actors were ACTING the story. The emotion they were able to convey in this format was just awesome. I would absolutely love to see this as a movie or miniseries or something.

I don't know if I had a favorite character, but I really admired Camilla's tenacity and her determination to keep her family together and happy. I also love the passage where she talks about not feeling bad saying 'I told you so'. She says something like, "Yeah, when people come and ask you for your advice and then do the exact opposite and then it blows up in their face, I will definitely say I told you so!" That is me. 100%. There's nothing more aggravating than someone coming and laying all their drama on you, begging you for advice, and then doing the opposite because they didn't REALLY want your advice, they just wanted justification for their shitty decisions. I call those friends 'Ask-holes'...and I have no regrets about it. Anyway, back on track.

I really think that even if you haven't enjoyed TJR books in the past, you might want to look into this one. I know that I'm in the minority, but I'm not the ONLY person who doesn't worship the ground TJR walks on. But this book, specifically this AUDIOBOOK, is wonderful.

So...this is the second time I'm writing this because apparently I forgot to save it or something. Grr, hate when that happens.

Anyway, This started out strong for me. I haven't read a romantic suspense from Nora Roberts in years, and I forgot how much I tend to enjoy them. Even when they don't end up being new favorites, like this one, there is a level of quality to the writing and storytelling that is very consistent in her books.

I liked the premise of this book that our heroine, Elizabeth/Abigail, is on the run and on her own because she can't trust law enforcement to keep her safe, then ends up falling for a law enforcement officer from the small town she's hiding away in. Her character was very much like Temperance Brennan from the television show Bones (I know they were books first, but my only experience of the character is the show. I can't speak to how she compares to the book character) in the way that she acts and interacts with the people around her, specifically Brooks, our hero.

I enjoyed the romantic elements to this, even though I thought he was a little too pushy. I enjoyed their back and forth and getting to know and trust each other. I liked that he respects the fact that she can take care of herself, even though his instinct as a police officer and a decent human is to protect her because he cares about her. I like that she starts out with this hard shell of distrust and refusal to rely on anyone else and over the course of the novel learns to let him in.

Now for the problems I had. First and foremost, this book is far too long. It's over 500 pages, and the type is pretty small. This book didn't need to be this long. The first part of the book where we learn what happened to Abigail when she was younger was over 100 pages long. It didn't need to be that long. We could've had the same information imparted to us in half that. This is especially true when you take into consideration the fact that

she tells Brooks the entire story later in the book, and instead of truncating that conversation, we are basically just retold the beginning of the book.

Then there are several subplots that are explored very thoroughly that didn't add much to the plot at the end of the day. They establish Brooks as a good cop who doesn't think every situation is right or wrong, black or white. And there was one situation I assumed was going to tie into the overall plot of Abigail being on the run that really didn't. It was flimsily connected but I never really felt that is was necessary for it to take up so much of the story. That being cut could've really tightened up the book as far as the length goes and also the pacing, which suffered in my opinion because of those extraneous subplots and the overly-long introduction.

Also, and this may seem counter intuitive to the previous paragraph about cutting it down, but I didn't feel satisfied at all by the ending of this book. I won't get into it because spoilers, but with a romantic suspense there is some expectation that at some point of the book there is going to be a showdown between our hero/heroine and the villain. That doesn't really happen here. Or, it does, but it's a very passive set of circumstances. It all wraps up without much fanfare, which makes the end feel anticlimactic. The tension and stakes presented throughout the book just sort of fizzle out at the end, and I felt like this story deserved more. I don't know that that part needed to be longer, but I would've liked to see it play out differently, perhaps with the same overall result.

Overall I thought this was solid, if not a new favorite.

Well, it had to happen eventually. After a really excellent start to my 2020 reading year, this is my first two-star book of the year.

I think the thing that was the most disappointing about this is that it was from Book of the Month. Now, I haven't loved everything that I've ever chosen from BOTM, but I do think that there is usually something in the book that I can point to and say, "I get why this was chosen as a BOTM even if I didn't enjoy it." I didn't have that experience here. And while this is technically a part of the YA BOTM and not the traditional adult version of the site, I think it's a disservice to YA, which has consistently good titles, to pick a book like this. Also, it is advertised by the site as a sci-fi book, when really it's more paranormal. There aren't any actual 'sci-fi' elements to be found.

I know that sounds harsh, but this book just isn't great.

The main issue I had with this was the writing and lack of development of the world, characters, and plot. So...pretty much everything.
The writing is just very basic. It tries to be descriptive and evocative, but just ends up sounding flowery without a purpose. And at the same time, it's very vague in some instances. The following is an excerpt of a dream our protagonist is describing:
I was brought into a white-walled castle and thrown at the foot of a throne made of human bones and possessions. The throne room had no ceiling, and I could see the gunmetal clouds covering the sky, indifferent stars invisible but present.
It feels like the word 'possessions' is a filler word that the author put in as she was drafting that she just never went back to at any point during the editing process. Also, the 'indifferent stars invisible but present' (that is an exact grammatical lift from the text) line doesn't serve any purpose except to 'sound cool' or something. This is by no means the only instance of this vague or purposeless language, but it was one that stuck out while I was reading it.

There are also some very silly structural moments that felt like they were written by a kid or someone who is trying to play with structure to make a more interesting experience and it just came off as juvenile to me. On page 50, the characters are getting started with their job processing finds from the archaeological dig they are on.
I took it to my station, on my way grabbing an empty tray. I poured some water into the tray... When I checked my watch again, it was nearly lunchtime.

Full disclosure: I use ellipses when I write reviews, texts, even emails. I also don't have a huge problem with them being used (sparingly) in novels. But there was no need whatsoever for them to be used here, at the end of a paragraph. The concept of time passing could've been conveyed in any number of ways. It could've been as simple as saying:
I poured some water into the tray and began the meticulous process of cataloging the finds from the dig.
When I checked my watch again, it was nearly lunchtime.
I know that there are people who will think I'm being nitpicky, and so be it. But it bothered me.

Another moment occurs later in the book, when the protagonist is describing something. I'm being a little vague because spoilers, but the phrase itself isn't a spoiler:
And I fell and I fellandifellandifell.
Perhaps if things like this were done throughout the book I could've attributed it to a stylistic choice the author was making, much in the same way poets play with the visual form their works take on the page, but it's just this once, and it bothered me.

Also, the chapters end in awkward and sometimes jarring ways. It's confusing, because often it's in the middle of a scene, and then the next chapter continues the exact same scene, which makes it a strange time for a chapter break, in my opinion. I would understand if there was more than one POV character and we were switching from one perspective to another within the scene, but this is all from Alif's perspective, so it really made no sense.

Moving on from the actual writing/structure, let's talk about characters. The characters were not well-developed at all. We're told they're these great friends, and they must be since Alif (our protagonist) was able to talk them all into going with her to an archaeological dig to Dubai for their summer vacation. But aside from one scene with them drinking together, they are pretty much at odds before and after that moment. Even in that scene, there's tension that no one is willing to deal with. It makes the way they turn against each other not mean that much to me, because I never bought them as a strong friend group. They read more like frenemies, even from the first page.

Also, there is an attempt at diversity with these characters, but it's done very sloppily and has really no bearing on anything that happens in the book. It wouldn't have mattered if these kids were all white, all black, all brown, or some combination thereof, because after we were given very rudimentary introductions to all of the characters by Alif in the first chapters of the book, it's never really mentioned again. Their ethnic and cultural backgrounds don't seem to inform any of their beliefs or decisions, and to shove it in the beginning of the book that she and several of her friends are people of color felt like pandering, or like she was trying to check off some diversity box.

The plot itself is also very basic and surface-level. It's a shame, because this book has a really intriguing premise. It's the only reason this book isn't a one star read for me. It's a cool idea, but the execution is seriously lacking. We go from one scene to another with very little transition, except the strangely timed chapter breaks. Emotional outbursts and conversations seem to come out of nowhere just to move the plot along moments that should be emotional for the reader, if they were better written, are given no time to breathe before we move on to the next conversation. Now, if this was an action-packed novel, I could understand that. But something awful would happen, and in the next scene instead of these people talking about it or trying to deal with it, we hear about Alif and how much it's annoying her that one of her friends has a crush on her and how much she really wants to kiss the cute guy working for her father. Like...what? You just saw

someone impaled in a pit of spikes

and all you're worried about is if the boy you like likes you back? Oooookay...
I at least thought the parts about archaeology were going to be interesting, but there wasn't really enough time spent on that, which is a shame.

The end was something I kind of expected, and while I like where it ended up in concept, again, I felt like the execution just wasn't there. I wonder what would've happened with this idea in the hands of another writer, and still think it has potential. And I'm probably going to be in the minority, so maybe it's just a me problem. I did like that it's an open ending.

A couple more WTF moments:

1. So they drop the tablet and it stays in two pieces, but later on they get the two pieces back together and the magically reunite. Why? Why didn't that happen to begin with?

2. Alif drops poisonous berries in their source of fresh water on the oasis, which we're supposed to believe taints the water. First, I'm not sure that's how that would work. I mean, I don't actually KNOW how that would work, but unless they'd been smashed and dropped in the water...also, just handling them made Alif's fingers go numb, but they're able to drink the water again a couple hours later, no problem?

3. I found it a little too meta that the main character realizes that the writing sample she used in an application to a creative writing program was full of cliches and overwritten melodrama (she uses the example of 'releasing breaths I didn't know I was holding') but the author doesn't realize that she is guilty of the same thing, and also the opposite. There are parts of this that are overwritten and serve no purpose, and others that are given no time to develop.

I don't see myself picking up anything from this author in the future.

3.5 stars

I've heard a lot of wonderful things about this book and for the first 1/2-2/3 of the book I was all on board. I loved being in "Andrew's" head as he commented on humans and society as a whole.

But the second half fell off a little for me. Maybe it was because I was listening to the audiobook, but I wasn't getting a lot of emotion from the character, so him giving up his mission and turning his back on his immortality and abilities didn't make a lot of sense to me. I never really bought that he'd fallen in love with Isabelle, which I think is important if the second half is going to work for you.

Also, I don't understand why, after he and Gulliver get rid of the replacement Andrew, they don't just send ANOTHER one to finish the job. They obviously think that this is important enough to send the first replacement, but after that doesn't work they just shrug their shoulders and move on with their day? Doesn't track for me.

Then there is the list Andrew writes to Gulliver at the end. Some of the items were thought-provoking, but most of them just reminded me of the cliched toast Will Smith gives in the movie Hitch: “Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away."
It just got too hokey for me at the end. Maybe I'm just a jaded human, because the overwhelming opinion about this book seems to be positive. And I still enjoyed it, but it's not a new favorite.

I'm half asleep as I write this, so I hope it makes sense.
This is a tough book for me to review. There were things I really liked about it and things that kept taking me out of the story that really tried to ruin it for me.

The romance was the most successful aspect of this book in my opinion. This is a true enemies-to-lovers type romance. Too often books will be marketed as such but then not execute it well at all. Usually they 'hate' each other for about one chapter (usually due to a situation where one or the other of them didn't use their words) and then they flip a switch and can't stop thinking about the other person. It's ridiculous. This book takes places over the course of some time and these characters actually HATE each other at first. Many of their interactions for the first third of the book are completely antagonistic, to the point that I was wondering when or if we'd see a turn in their relationship. I honestly still think it's a tad bit fast and wish there had been a longer stretch of them actually being friendly with each other before get lovey dovey, but even after they've fallen for each other we get a good dose of angst, so it doesn't have time to get stale.

Now, if the book had been satisfied with being a fun fantasy standalone romance, I think this gets four stars, easily. But for some reason, the author felt the need to stretch this out into multiple books and add a lot of convoluted obstacles for our characters. There are so many characters to keep track of in this book that I found myself slightly confused at times trying to remember who is who.

Also, I had a really hard time with the world building in this book. It's obvious that the author is using France as inspiration for her fantasy world, which is fine when it's well done. But aside from some of the language the characters use, there really isn't much else that supports that inspiration. Some references to food, fashion, music, or art would've solidified that French feel a little. My bigger issue, however, was the inclusion, in a FANTASY WORLD, of Christianity. So am I supposed to believe that in this fantastical, NOT EARTH world, the bible and Christianity is a thing? I'm not saying that there is no place in fantasy for religion. Many fantasies use religion to build their world and the culture of their people. But this book's characters quote scripture from the Christian bible. It just took me out of the story every time it happened. She could have still used religion and faith to inform her characters motivations without it being something so bound to our reality.

My last gripe is that this book felt like it didn't know what it wanted to be, especially with regard to the target age demographic. This book is being marketed as a YA fantasy, but as is the case with Sarah J. Maas, I really think this book is more New Adult than Young Adult. The main protagonists are over 18 and there is a lot of adult content in here. Lots of swearing and graphic references to sex, including one graphic sex scene. I'm not a prude...really. I like sex scenes in books, and I even think they can work in YA books with a little subtlety. Maybe that's the real problem. This book lacks subtlety.

All that negative said, I still enjoyed the romance enough that this book gets three stars. I don't think that I will continue with the series, because I got what I wanted from the romance and I don't really want to stick around for the obstacles that are sure to be coming in subsequent books. This was fun, but only time will tell if it will be memorable.

I just love these books. They are such a comfort read for me. I had a little trouble with this near the end regarding the conflict that threatens the couple (not a spoiler, just Standard Operating Procedure in a romance novel). It's pretty bad, and I felt like even though I understood why the characters did what they did, it would've taken awhile for me to move past it if it had happened to me.

But at the end of the day, I really enjoyed these characters, their banter, and the romance between them.

I have listened to this whole series (that's currently available) via audiobook, and I have to say that I'm not a huge fan of this voice actor. She's done all of the other books in the series as well. She is competent at different accents, but she makes some strange choices that make no sense to me. One example: Lily is supposed to have a very high, Marilyn-Monroe-esque type of voice. It's supposedly so obnoxious that it's kept her from getting work in the past and pigeon-holed the types of roles she's gotten thus far. And the voice the narrator uses is a little high, but not anything out of the ordinary. Then there's Freddie (who is the main character a couple of books later) and she's given this little girl voice, despite the fact that she is also an adult and has been a constant in the theater scene for years. It didn't make any sense to me. Plus, there was no difference to the way Lily sounded at the beginning of the audiobook to the way she sounded at the end, despite the fact that she'd been working with a vocal coach to help her lower the tone of her voice. Also, there are instances of other characters from future books being introduced in this book that sound nothing like they do later on in their own story. It didn't affect the rating I gave this book and it didn't affect my enjoyment, but I do think that the audiobooks aren't as strong as they could be.

I am really excited for the next book in the series to come out, now that I've basically binged the prior books within the last month.

So, this book isn't perfect. I can stand back and look at it objectively and point out several things to critique.
For one, it's filled with cliches and plot contrivances meant to throw our Hero and heroine together. But I didn't care.
For another, it takes too long for the couple to get together and all the sex scenes are mostly fade-to-black. I usually like my romances nice and steamy. But I didn't care.
There is also the fact that this relationship technically starts as a one-night-stand where the Hero was cheating on his girlfriend with the heroine (she didn't know she was 'the other woman' at the time). And yeah, okay, I kind of cared about this one. It was obvious that he was a player when they first met. But the bulk of the story takes place years later, after he's grown up and stopped acting like a complete douchebag.
But at the end of the day, I really ended up enjoying this book. It was fun and sweet and I really liked the characters. And even though this book is full of romance tropes and cliches, it also gives some of them a twist that I ended up really appreciating.
I don't usually like friends-to-lovers romances, which is funny, because my husband and I were friends long before we were romantically involved with one another, and he's my favorite human. But for some reason it rarely works for me in book form. Too little tension, I guess. But it worked for me here, perhaps because we're only getting her perspective and it seems through most of the story like the feelings are unrequited (even though as the reader you assume that he does have feelings for her...this IS a romance, after all.).
I was also nervous that this book was going to make Lacey the awful, hateful girlfriend character complete with several scenes full of girl hate. When she ends up actually being a decent person and she and Melody become friends, I was very pleasantly surprised. It reminded me of the relationship between Rebecca and Valencia on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, with less musical numbers and borderline personality disorder.
The friendships in this book were something I really enjoyed reading, and I liked that even though the characters have complicated relationships and pasts, there is obviously affection there, even when the relationships transition from romantic to friendly.
I'm thankful I found this fun, fluffy story available on Overdrive and now I want to check out the rest of the series.