This is my first Clare Mackintosh, and I have to say, I’m a little underwhelmed?

To begin, I was listening to this on audiobook. I do not recommend this. The voice actor doesn’t do anything of note to change her voice for different characters, and they aren’t distinct enough to differentiate on their own. Zoe’s chapters were written in first and Kelly’s were in third, but they sound so similar I kept mixing them up. Also, I would implore the author to invest in a name book. There were so many characters in this book with similar sounding names: Kelly, Cathy, Katie, Kathryn; Matt, Megan, Melissa; Nick & Neil. Lexi & Lucinda...there were times it just got confusing. So I switched partway through to the physical copy, and that helped.

One of my main gripes about this is that I didn’t really like the Kelly chapters. It’s funny, because I enjoy television shows about cops and solving crimes and whatnot, but I don’t like reading about it. The author tries to give her some depth in the subplots involving her sister and her problems at work, but I just didn’t care. Every time we switched to her chapters I would wish we were back in Zoe’s chapters. It felt like Kelly’s chapters kind of stopped any momentum this story had going for it.

As far as the end and the reveals...I was again, underwhelmed. The first big bombshell wasn’t something I’d specifically guessed, but I did suspect that this person was being used in this scheme unknowingly.

However, the second twist, which is what I’m assuming people are referring to when they talk about ‘OMG THAT ENDING’ was something I’d guessed about a hundred pages in, and nothing that happened after that point deterred me from that guess. If anything, it reinforced it. So when it happens, yes, it’s creepy, but I wasn’t shocked.

Trigger Warnings: Physical, Emotional, Mental, and Sexual Abuse; child death.

I read I See You a few days ago, and thought it was just okay. I didn't get the hype. In the other critical reviews, many people said that they'd loved I Let You Go, and were disappointed by I See You. So even though I wasn't really meshing with the writing, I decided to give this book a shot, since it was already on my shelves.

I actually preferred I See You.

This book bored the heck out of me. Sorry, not sorry. I had zero interest whatsoever in Ray and his storyline. He was an asshole to his wife and made excuses to cheat on her and never has to really take responsibility for his actions. The story would've been stronger if it had just focused on Jenna and that part of the story. I get that the author used to be a police officer, but I don't care. There's no tension in any of those scenes in the context of the rest of the story. They could be completely absent outside of the scenes with Jenna and it would be the same book. The chapters with them completely disrupt the pacing and I found myself zoning out during those passages.

The other POV, that of Ian, I found to lack any nuance whatsoever. I wouldn't have minded if it were used more sparingly, but I didn't want his point of view on anything. I would much rather get that information through Jenna or some other means. He felt very one-dimensional for a character whose head we're in for a third of the story. The abuse Jenna suffers at his hands is disturbing, absolutely, but also feels a little over the top. It seems designed to produce sympathy for Jenna and explain her inexplicable actions after the child's death.

As for Jenna, her actions made no sense to me. She runs away from him because she's scared of Ian, but instead of going to the police and telling them what happened and having Ian get arrested, she runs off and starts a new life? Then lies and says it was her driving instead of, again, telling the police the truth and asking for their protection? There is zero reason that makes any sense why she would take the fall for him. None.
I also didn't like that after she's arrested for a hit and run that resulted in the death of a CHILD, her first thought was that she didn't want her boyfriend to find out and wondered if she'd be able to 'keep him'. What?! Woman, you have bigger problems than your flipping love life! What in the world?!

As for the 'twists', yes, the first that Jenna was actually in the car and not the child of the mother took me by surprise. But to learn that it was actually her husband driving didn't surprise me at all. The fact that he was actually the father of the child hit was ridiculous. I actually did guess that he was the father before I knew that he was driving. I thought that maybe she'd found out he fathered a child outside their marriage and was following the child and mother and accidentally hit him. But the idea that they would be in the middle of London, a city of millions, and just happen upon his one-time mistress and their child and purposely run the child down is asking me to suspend disbelief to a point that is just not going to happen.

In the author's note, she talks about how she wanted to explore how grief and guilt 'might affect two women, involved in very different ways in the same accident' and that this book was the result. Now, I would've liked to read that book. But that is not what this book is. We get nothing in the perspective of the poor woman whose child was murdered. She and her son are just a means to an end, a catalyst for this plot-contrived mess. Instead of the drivel that is Ray's story, we could've had Jacob's mother's perspective. Or maybe we could've learned more about Ian through her, instead of being in his abusive shitty perspective for any length of time. But that is not what we were given.

I've come to realize that Clare Mackintosh is not the author for me.

3.5 stars

This isn’t my favorite Christina Lauren, but I think it’s still solid. I wish the structure had been a little different, maybe inserting the London flashbacks throughout the book instead of being told in such a linear fashion. I also that that first section with them in London is too long. I like it, it’s sweet, but I wanted to see more of their current-day dynamic, and that part honestly felt a little rushed.

I did like the movie-making aspect of this book, and I could absolutely see this being a movie itself.

Where this book loses a little something for me is in the big conflicts. Maybe I’m just naive, but the big kerfuffle (yes, I just used the word ‘kerfuffle’) that arises at the end just doesn’t seem like something that ANYONE would care about. I just felt it was a little convoluted, and I wasn’t convinced that it would’ve become as big of a scandal as the book wanted me to think it was.

I still really enjoy Christina Lauren, but this doesn’t come close to the Unhoneymooners in my heart.

I am having such a difficult time with this review. I have a lot of strong emotions about this book, but I'm having a hard time articulating my thoughts in an organized and cogent manner.

I understand that this book is beloved by millions. I also understand that, in many ways, it is a product of its time and that there are many people who excuse the content within it as being just that--a product of the time and environment in which it was written. And I can even buy that, to an extent.

However, I also think it's valid to critique a work of art (and yes, I consider literature an art form) for its shortcomings regardless of the time in which it was written.

So that brings me to my feelings about TKAM. If I had to use one word to describe it, I would probably have to say 'conflicted'. There were things I absolutely adored about this book, and other things that I found very worthy of criticism and couldn't excuse. So let's get to it.

Spoilers ahead for this 60-year old book. If you read this and get angry that you're being spoiled, I don't know what to tell you...

What I liked:

1. The rich setting. I, unlike Harper Lee, did not grow up in the South, much less the South during the 1930s. However, reading this book made me feel like I'd been there and actually experienced childhood in the Deep South.

2. The structure. This book is told in almost a vignette style. It covers a couple of years of time and jumps ahead at different points. There is an overarching story that we keep tying into, but it very much feels like we are being shown little snapshots into the life of this family. This is much more a character-driven story than plot-driven, so I think the style lends itself to that.

3. The audiobook. Sissy Spacek is the voice actor narrating this audiobook and she is FANTASTIC. I could listen to her narrate my to-do list and I'd end up feeling like my life was a lot more interesting than it actually is.

What I didn't like:

Oh man, here we go...gonna upset a bunch of people in 3...2...1...

1. Atticus Finch. *Runs and hides in a corner*
Look, I get it. He's held up as this paragon of virtue. We're told so many times, over and over again, what a magnanimous, saintly man he is. Jem and Scout go to church with their maid Calpurnia and are told by the Reverand 'this church has no better friend than your daddy.' There are several other characters who extol his virtues as well. Of course, there is the other side of the coin, with many people calling him a ___lover (I don't feel the need to fill in the blank. You get the idea) for defending a local black man accused of a crime he didn't commit. Does he denounce these racist bigots? Oh no, not the wonderful and perfect Atticus. Actually, he tells Scout:

"___lover is just one of those terms that don't mean anything--like snot-nose. It's hard to explain--ignorant, trashy people use it when they think somebody's favoring black people over and above themselves."

Um, nope. Nope, nope, nope. Way to downplay flat-out racism. Wow.

There's another scene where Scout is talking to her father asking him why he's chosen to defend Tom Robinson, and Atticus says he feels like it's his duty and wouldn't be able to hold his head up if he didn't. Scout says that many people in town think he's wrong for doing it and Atticus says:

"They're certainly entitled to think that, and they're entitled to full respect for their opinions."

After Mrs. Dubose passes away, he says something similar:

"She had her own views about things, a lot different from mine, maybe...According to her views, she died beholden to nothing and nobody. She was the bravest person I ever knew."

These two excerpts were Atticus referring to people who are full-on racist pieces of garbage who called him some truly vile things. And I...no. I'm sure there are people who get all warm and fuzzy seeing Atticus take the high road and not be affected by all of this, but there's nothing wrong with calling out someone for their disgusting behavior. And there are so many times throughout this book that someone will say or do something awful to Scout, Jem, or Atticus, and Atticus is just like: *shrugs*
Scout and Jem (rightly) question the behavior of the townspeople, and Atticus makes excuse after excuse for them. How is this literary figure held up as a champion for the downtrodden? I don't get it.
The kicker for me that cemented my distaste for his character is a speech by Atticus that happens in Chapter 23. It is after Tom Robinson is convicted of a rape that everyone knows he didn't actually commit. Atticus is talking about how, in theory, a courtroom in the United States is somewhere a man should expect to be treated fairly, but obviously Tom's race was a factor. He says:

"As you grow older, you'll see white men cheat black men every day of your life. But let me tell you something and don't you forget it--whenever a white man does that to a black man, no matter who he is, how rich he is, or how fine a family he comes from, that white man is trash...There's nothing more sickening to me than a low-grade white man who'll take advantage of a Negro's ignorance."

I just...can't believe this is supposed to be a hero of the story. He's saying that white men shouldn't take advantage of black men not because, oh I don't know, they're HUMAN BEINGS, but because white men should know better and black men are too ignorant to know they're being taken advantage of. Wow. It's obvious in this and a couple other passages that while Atticus isn't the worst of what the 1930s Deep South has to offer, he's not as enlightened as people want to make him out to be. He absolutely believes that white men are superior to black men. That's racist.

I've actually seen reviews saying that this book isn't racist because it was written in 1955...um...sorry?! Just because it's a 'product of its time' doesn't mean it's not racist...in fact, that's WHY some people may look at it as being racist...BECAUSE it's a product of its (racist AF) time.

There are people who would say that just because Harper Lee wrote these characters and this story doesn't mean that she herself was racist. The views of an author's characters don't necessarily reflect the views of the author. And that is very true. For example, I don't think that every author who writes psychological thrillers is a sociopath. That being said, there is a certain style that is struck each time a character (usually Atticus) begins to pontificate about race and philosophy that is so different from the rest of the language in the book that it makes it feel like the author is trying to make a point. And in those cases, I do, whether it's accurate or not, take those sections as the author's own outlook. Also, in doing a little research into her upbringing and her first draft of TKAM (which was released just months prior to her death as Go Set a Watchmen and marketed as a sequel), it feels like the white-superiority moments that were present in TKAM were even more prevalent in her first draft. I have no interest in reading GSAM, but in reading some reviews from people who loved TKAM and hated GSAM, the problem I had with the former run rampant in the latter. That makes me wonder how much of TKAM was the result of brilliant editing.

I know there are going to be people who will be incensed by my review. They'll say I missed the point of the novel, which is (in their opinion) one of the greatest classics ever written. They'll say I'm projecting my progressive 21st century ideals onto a book written over half a century ago about a time almost a century ago and that it's 'not fair' to do that. To that, I'll just say I respectfully disagree. I think it's perfectly acceptable to look at a work and see if it holds up under re-evaluation. It's not just appropriate, but also important, to do so, especially when you look around at the social climate we're living in today in the United States. And just one last note...It's okay to call out injustice, intolerance, and racism when you see it instead of ignoring it and writing it off as 'differing views'.

At the end of the day, I understand why this book is beloved. I know that at the time it was written, it was considered a very important and groundbreaking book in terms of what it had to say about race and injustice. Honestly, the fact that it WAS so highly regarded for those reasons just goes to show how far society still needed to go at that time. The fact that it's still thought of so highly maybe shows that we haven't come as far as we like to think we have.

This is such a beautiful book. I love the setting, characters, and story. It's all top-notch. I loved Cassiopeia and her determination and drive. I love the relationship between her and Hun-Kame. He obviously is surprised and ultimately enchanted by her fortitude. Their scenes together are SO GOOD. There's just enough angst that at the end you want more but are satisfied at the same time.

The characters are well-developed and authentic. They are all flawed and interesting. I also really enjoy the banter not only between Cassiopeia and Hun-Kame, but also her and Loray.

This incorporates Mayan culture and mythology surrounded by the richness of setting (1920's Mexico) that I didn't know I wanted, but I absolutely did. I've never read anything by this author before, but I will absolutely be looking into her backlist.

*RE-READ November 2019*
This is my third read of this book, in preparation for The Toll, which as of the time of this update is coming out in THREE MORE DAYS! To say that I'm excited would be the mother of all understatements.
This is one of my favorite series. I absolutely love it and this read through was no exception. I actually listened to the audiobook this time around, which was fantastic. The voice actor is a great complement to the text and characters.
I know that a lot of people, even those who enjoy the book, don't like the 'romance' in the book between Citra and Rowan. And I get it. I didn't think their relationship was fleshed out enough in this book to make the

I Love You

at the end really hit home. But during this read I kind of felt like it was more of a statement made in friendship, with the possibility of something more, rather than an all out declaration of intention.
Scythe Curie was even more wonderful for me this time around. I've always liked her character, but something about this reread made me love her even more. Maybe there was something about the audiobook and the voice actor's portrayal of her character that I connected with.

...Just checked the calendar...still three days left until The Toll...

*RE-READ February 2018*
This book is still amazing. Even more amazing is the fact that I have Thunderhead sitting right next to me that I can slide right into. Can't wait to see what happens!


Original Review:
It has been an awfully long time since I read a dystopian book I really loved. I am so happy I picked this up. I loved the Unwind Dystology, so I was excited about this as soon as I heard about it. Neal Shusterman has a way of creating these premises that sound completely far-fetched and crafting a story that feels absolutely possible in our own society. He often tackles ethical questions that are absolutely relatable to all of us.

The novel takes place in a future where there is no disease, war, hunger. People are given the option of 'turning a corner' and becoming young again. If they die, they are taken to a revival center where they are brought back to life. Essentially, they are immortal. In order to protect the Earth from overpopulation, there are people called scythes who kill (glean) people. They are basically reapers. They have a set of commandments they are supposed to live by, and the power to grant immunity to people if they choose. Citra and Rowan are chosen to apprentice with a scythe and compete for the opportunity to become a scythe themselves.

I love the characters in this book. Citra and Rowan are wonderfully complex, and the side characters are all very well fleshed out. I emotionally connected to Citra quite a bit. She is caring and compassionate, but also determined and competitive in everything she does, even in trying to become a Scythe, something she scoffs at in the beginning of the novel. That dichotomy was very compelling to me. She's also a badass, which is always nice to see. Rowan as a character is very strong and self-aware. He sees how his surroundings are affecting him and tries his best to remain true to himself. I don't know if I saw enough interaction between Citra and Rowan to buy into a romance, but that is a very small criticism for me. I did really like that they always went out of their way to protect one another. Hopefully future books will show us more interaction.

I liked the fact that this story was told in third person. So often, when books are written in first person, I don't get a sense that the stakes are at all high. In reading this story, I felt nervous for everyone, pretty much the entire way through.

This book surprised me a couple of different times. There were some things I kind of expected, but others that I was not expecting at all. I really liked that about this book.

I have seen some reviews saying that this book is slow. I don't really get that. There is a part about 2/3 through where I guess I could feel the plot dragging slightly and it became a little repetitive, but I never really minded because we were getting good character development from those passages. Overall, this book kept me thoroughly engaged from beginning to end.

I can't wait for the next book in the series!

*RE-READ November 2019

I am so thankful that the last book in the trilogy is going to be in my hands in less than 24 hours. I love this series so much. It is one of only a few series I can think of where the second book is better than the first and raises the stakes so completely.

The world is expanded in this book in such a big way. We learn more about the history of this world and the rules of society. There are shocking reveals and the action just ramps up as the book moves along.

The characters are fantastic. I especially love Scythe Curie. Her strength and integrity and her obvious love for Citra make her such a likable (if slightly terrifying) character. I loved her last scene in this book. It perfectly encapsulates her character.

Anastasia (Citra) has a great arc in this book as well. I like that she's not afraid to do something different with regards to how she carries out her gleanings. It is the perfect representation of her character and the ideals that are present from the first book. Her compassion and empathy for her fellow humans is evident from page one.

Rowan didn't have as much to do in this book, but he was definitely important. His actions inform the actions and motivations of many of the other characters in the book.

I really liked Greyson's story as well. He was a great addition to the story.

Probably my favorite addition to this book was the POV of the Thunderhead. It was phenomenal. Its POV is largely expositional, but I never felt like we were getting a big info dump. And the sense of tension that built throughout this book through the eyes of the Thunderhead was great.

I love how Shusterman weaves all of these storylines together into a cohesive story. It is layered and complex. His story ideas are always really interesting, and I feel like this is my favorite of all of his book since Unwind. This is probably better than Unwind, but I do have a great soft spot for that book.

The ending is just mindblowing. Heartbreaking and bittersweet and ultimately hopeful, which I didn't expect the first time I read it, and had forgotten going into this re-read. I literally hugged this book when I was done reading it, overcome with emotion. I'm SO glad the wait is nearly over for The Toll.

**Original 'review' (Its funny, because after I read this book and wrote the initial review below, EVERYONE started talking about this series...but I still think it's underrated!)

This book and series deserves so much more hype than it gets and I don’t understand why everyone isn’t talking about this series. It’s just flat-out amazing.

UPDATE:
After originally giving this book 4 stars, I am knocking it down to 3. I think I was just so excited that this was better than her other books and didn’t want to see the flaws that were pretty obvious. There is a scene early in the book where the truth is revealed if you read the scene properly. And there are just too many instances where the characters do unbelievably dumb things. Also, while the whole ‘smart house’ premise is interesting, it actually creates several plot holes throughout the story because there are so many points where they could have used the technology to figure out what was going on, but instead they just wandered through the book blindly. That being said, I still had fun reading this book, and it was a fast read, so it gets 3 stars from me.

ORIGINAL REVIEW:
This is officially my favorite Ruth Ware book. I had almost given up on her as an author. Sometimes you just don't click with a certain author/writing style, and that's okay. I previously read In a Dark, Dark Wood and The Death of Mrs. Westaway and although I loved the atmosphere and the tension that she was able to create, I felt like the execution of the plot left something to be desired. Luckily, I decided to push my hesitation aside after I heard so many people raving about this book. I'm so glad I did, because it's absolutely her best book, in my opinion.

Primarily set in a remote part of Scotland, this book has creepy atmosphere for days. The setting, combined with a dysfunctional 'smart house' and a story revolving around a nanny with a mysterious past made this a tense read. Tense, but engrossing.

The book is written in an epistolary style, primarily as letters from our protagonist to a man she's hoping with agree to represent her in her murder trial (not a spoiler, it's known from pretty much page one). While I didn't dislike this format, It may be a little ridiculous to think that she would write what ends up being a 330 page letter to this attorney, but I choose to suspend disbelief in this case.

I will say, I knew what the twists were going to be from very early on. There is a scene that seems completely innocuous at the time unless you realize what it is you're actually reading. I can't explain it further without spoiling the twist, but I do wonder if I would've given this book a full 5 stars if I hadn't realized the truth of the situation. That being said, knowing the twist didn't keep me from enjoying how the story played out. I feel like the story was still well-constructed, even if the end felt a little rushed. My biggest problem with this author's previous works has been the endings, which never seem to pay off the tension created during the build-up of the story. This had that to a certain extent, but it wasn't as pronounced as her other books, perhaps because it ends rather abruptly. We are hit with the twists and then there is very little in the way of downtime at the end to process everything before the book ends. I liked it, but I also wanted to know what happened to the protagonist after the book ends. It's left purposely vague, which I could see annoying people who like to have more closure.

I'm glad I read and enjoyed this book. It's giving me hope for future books by this author.

I don’t have a whole lot to say about this book. It’s interesting, because Christina Lauren are such darlings right now, and the only thing I really remember people saying about this book is that the catfishing premise felt a little icky.

With the popularity of The Unhoneymooners (Yay!) and Josh and Hazel’s Guide To Not Dating (BOO) I was a little surprised that this title seemed to come and go with almost no fanfare.

Then I read the book, and I kind of get it. I don’t think it was as bad as the critical reviews were saying. The catfishing is definitely a murky foundation for a love story in ‘everything is problematic’ 2019, but I don’t think the book was advocating it. The main character knew what she was doing was shady and most likely going to blow up in her face....which it did. The male protagonist doesn’t just let her off the hook. She has to earn back his trust by actually opening up to him as herself and not as a random person on the internet. Some might still say he forgives her too easily, and that’s fine, but I also don’t need this type of book to keep going. It’s not that deep.

To move on to other things, I wanted to like our characters more than I did. There is this friend group that we are supposed to love, but honestly, I couldn’t keep the friends straight. None of them were particularly interesting, and I couldn’t tell you a thing about any of their personalities because they weren’t developed. I would go a step further and say that if they weren’t in the book, it would’ve pretty much been the same book...they don’t add anything to the landscape.

The ‘banter’ between our main characters is good online, while Millie is pretending to be Cat. But honestly, I’m not sure I even believe she and Reed (Reid? I listened to the audiobook) were really that close like we’re supposed to believe. The only time they really talk to each other in an open way is during two of their three on-page sexual encounters, and that was NOT successful for me at all. I’m not a huge fan of sex scenes with a bunch of awkward, inane dialogue...that’s not sexy...

This is the second book I've read from Ruth Ware, the other being In A Dark, Dark Wood. And while I liked this book better and thought this story was executed well, there were still things about it I thought could've been better.

I liked the creepy atmosphere Ruth Ware is able to evoke. I think that's probably her greatest strength. The way she creates a sense of unease through setting is really compelling, and the gothic house and estate in TDOMW is no exception.

I really liked the premise of the story as well. This is another area where I think Ruth Ware excels. Even if the execution is lacking as far as the climax goes, I like her story ideas.

I want to also mention that I listened to the audiobook for this and the voice actor is outstanding. She gave each character a unique voice, including the male characters, which isn't always the case. I would know which character was speaking even without context. She also did a wonderful job in the actual narration and delivering lines with emotion. She was fantastic. If I was rating this book for the audiobook alone, it would get five stars. I would definitely encourage anyone thinking of picking this book up to check out the audiobook.

Now on to the things I think could've been better. First of all, I think there was an issue with pacing. I understand that this is meant to be a slow-moving narrative, and when it's done properly it can add to the creepy, foreboding atmosphere. But the beginning of this book is slow and boring. It's a lot of Hal bemoaning her station in life and feeling conflicted about deceiving the Westaways. It isn't until we actually get to Trepassen (sp? I don't know how to spell its name, since I listened to this on audio) and meet the rest of the characters that things really start moving.
Even after that though, there are sections that drag, where it seems like she should be putting pieces together but she's really not. It's not even like there are a bunch of red herrings. Again, it's mostly just the reader stuck in Hal's head while conveniently stumbles across evidence but doesn't actually take the steps necessary to put the pieces together.

The other main issue is that I didn't find the reveals to be at all shocking. I can't say that I knew exactly what was going to happen, but there were a couple of theories I had very early on that were variations on one another, and the actual ending matched up pretty well with those theories. It wasn't at all shocking. It made sense. The only real surprise was that it took Hal so long to figure it all out.

I enjoyed the experience with this book, even if it didn't end up being exactly what I wanted. I do think it's the strongest of her books and I do look forward to seeing what she comes out with next.