crispycritter's Reviews (516)

I feel it is my civic duty to tell you all that there is ZERO spice in this book. ZERO. I was bamboozled into reading the whole thing by a romance book podcast. 

I've read three Roni Loren books and what I love most is that it's never as simple as two people falling in love, temporarily thwarted by a normal level of everyday conflict. Nope. She's like - what if the characters can't be together because of BLACKMAIL and MURDER and POLITICAL SCANDALS WITH FAR-REACHING CONSEQUENCES and the MAN MUST HAVE A TRAGIC PAST THAT PREVENTS HIM FROM GIVING A WOMAN HIS HEART (but not, ya know, his other parts ;)). What if they can't be together until they either meet for the first time or are reunited years later at a TOP-SECRET SEX CLUB or a TOP-SECRET SEX INSTITUTE. Like Ali Hazlewood, you kind of feel like you're reading the same book with slight alterations. But boy is it entertaining.

I enjoy hockey romance and feel like I set a pretty low bar for the hockey romance I read on KU. But this book was rough.

"I do go to hell. Every day. For you."

Listen, Mia Sheridan isn't everyone's cup of tea. She basically writes super angsty, emotional Nicholas Sparks books with spice. But boy did this book punch me right in the feelings.

Check the content warnings before reading. There are a couple that I didn't see in the dropdown options -

particuarly extreme poverty and food insecurity

Oh yeah, it also inspired me to read Persuasion by Jane Austen. 

This is one of those Kindle Unlimited books I read recently and already barely remember. Not offensively bad, not spectacularly good. Another mid 'hockey' romance. I use that term loosely since in some hockey romance the sport is an integral part of the plot. This had . . . some hockey? It really didn't matter. All you needed to know is that the MMC is a professional sports baller now. 

I have two big feelings about this book: (1) this series was terrible and I don't get the hype; and (2) even if I liked the first two books, this would still be a terrible, lazy, no good way to wrap up the trilogy.

For some asinine reason we spent half the book in Apollo's POV. This is unfortunate because Garber couldn't decide if Apollo was a sympathetic villain or not - and lacks the writing chops to pull off any convincing level of character nuance. I was confused.

We barely get any Jacks. Frustrating for both fans and hate readers since the EvaJacks ship is the le point.

And the ending? I guess it's some sort of happy for now?!? Things were wrapped up quickly and sloppily. Any amount of scrutiny and the whole thing just falls apart. Kinda counterintuitive for a YA fantasy that's all about fairy tales and happily ever afters. You'd think Garber would want fans to end the series with confidence Evagenline and Jacks were going to ride off into the sunset and eat apples for eternity or some shit. 

This is the story of a himbo 8 foot cryptid with mood ring eyes and a massive dick who fucks like a stallion. He just wants to find love, y’all. 

Oh yeah, he literally rearranges the FMC’s insides . . . With magic.

Need I say more?!?

Creative use of the shadow daddy, I guess.