crispycritter's Reviews (516)

What the actual fork did I just read. Beautiful, terrifying art. Surreal borderline nonsensical plot. A good book to read before bed if you’re hoping for nightmares. 

Super sweet cozy fantasy. My only complaint is that Reyna and Kianthe's POVs were very difficult to distinguish at times and I would have liked Thorne to give them more distinct voices. If you didn't look at the chapter headings, you'd have no idea whose perspective we were reading.

Another ruthless DNF. I’ve read enough contemporary romance to know the writing is not it for me. 

I will not be answering any questions, thank you. 

I set the bar pretty low for monster smut but jeeeeezus was this bad. Our heroine "I have anxiety" Piper suffers from Toodumbtobealiveitis, the plot is a straight rip off of Ice Planet Barbarians, and the primary conflict is this biddy decides she needs to IMMEDIATELY travel to another rival clan to get the alien equivalent of xanax. Girl, you’ve been on this planet for a day. Wanna try the available alien talk therapy and literally any other coping mechanisms first before rushing to leave the friendly village and die? Perhaps now that you’re free from the crushing burden of Earth’s capitalist machine you . . . I dunno, might be less anxious? Seriously. There’s no rent to be paid here. No jobbies to go to. You might still have anxiety but maybe let’s settle in first and not die in the impending snow storms. 

Agnarr, she’s “unlike any other female you’ve ever met” cause she’s (1) the only human you’ve literally ever met and (2) an asshole and all your fellow orc ladies seem pretty chill. 

I threw my Kindle down when, in response to Agnarr's reasonable desire to keep Piper from journeying outside the village, she gets mad at him and says “fuck the patriarchy.” Girl what patriarchy???? On this nice alien planet in a nice egalitarian alien orc village? As an anxious feminist, I took it personally that Wood made her anxious feminist heroine this dumb, inconsistent, and kinda mean.

PenDoug, why did this bore me? Why is the playlist for this book so cringey? It's like if you asked an out-of-touch straight gen-xer to list songs they think high school lesbians listen to. ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID BY TATU? I am fricken deceased.

I just wanted some context for Five Brothers (actual title), the book I fully expect to out-Credence Credence.