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crispycritter's Reviews (516)
This was a super cute premise but unfortunately is now the best example I have of underwriting. This makes me sad as a fan of campy criminal procedurals.
I couldn't get a good handle on Leda. All of her personality felt stripped from the book. When Grady goes to interview an old cop buddy and said cop buddy describes her as having a huge personality I got whiplash. Was I reading the same character??? Grady was boiled chicken. No seasoning. Also probably a bad cop, but not in a compelling anti-hero way. Niki had a plastic boot, a boyfriend, and the whisper of a personality. Points for retired cop/Daschund wrangler.
There were seemingly unnecessary scenes that dragged the pacing. Geez we spent a lot of time at Castaway's and not a lot of time solving the actual murders this whole book is allegedly about. I'm not confident we needed to see any Klairvoyant Karaoke. It's an interesting subplot. But was it really integral to the case? If there was an eventual tie-in, I lost interest before I got to the payoff.
Minor grumble: the dialogue was too long. So much dialogue could have been cut without any loss of reader understanding. This started at the very beginning, with Grady talking to his daughter for SO LONG. I have heard about a screenwriting exercise where they cut every other line of dialogue, as newer screenwriters tend to overwrite dialogue. If it still works, they need to trim dialogue. I think this book would have benefitted from the same exercise.
Minor pet peeve: Brand naming. Way too much brand naming. Surely we could situate readers in the Seattle area without name dropping Amazon and Starbucks as much as we did. This book looks like it was published before the social commentary on Bezos really soured, but if anything this is an even better reason to be mindful of your brand references - you don't have control over how they age.
I couldn't get a good handle on Leda. All of her personality felt stripped from the book. When Grady goes to interview an old cop buddy and said cop buddy describes her as having a huge personality I got whiplash. Was I reading the same character??? Grady was boiled chicken. No seasoning. Also probably a bad cop, but not in a compelling anti-hero way. Niki had a plastic boot, a boyfriend, and the whisper of a personality. Points for retired cop/Daschund wrangler.
There were seemingly unnecessary scenes that dragged the pacing. Geez we spent a lot of time at Castaway's and not a lot of time solving the actual murders this whole book is allegedly about. I'm not confident we needed to see any Klairvoyant Karaoke. It's an interesting subplot. But was it really integral to the case? If there was an eventual tie-in, I lost interest before I got to the payoff.
Minor grumble: the dialogue was too long. So much dialogue could have been cut without any loss of reader understanding. This started at the very beginning, with Grady talking to his daughter for SO LONG. I have heard about a screenwriting exercise where they cut every other line of dialogue, as newer screenwriters tend to overwrite dialogue. If it still works, they need to trim dialogue. I think this book would have benefitted from the same exercise.
Minor pet peeve: Brand naming. Way too much brand naming. Surely we could situate readers in the Seattle area without name dropping Amazon and Starbucks as much as we did. This book looks like it was published before the social commentary on Bezos really soured, but if anything this is an even better reason to be mindful of your brand references - you don't have control over how they age.
fast-paced
Wow. Just wow. What Assistant to the Villain could have been. If it had been a more fun book AND had butt stuff and sex rituals.
Favorite Quote: “Some people really haven’t adjusted to life under the Dark Reign of Terror yet. Some things are different, but honestly it’s all cosmetic. Things aren’t that different from when we had a normal, living CEO. And the thing about economic collapse … is that there’s a lot of room for upward mobility. At least that’s what Janice in HR says.”
Favorite Quote: “Some people really haven’t adjusted to life under the Dark Reign of Terror yet. Some things are different, but honestly it’s all cosmetic. Things aren’t that different from when we had a normal, living CEO. And the thing about economic collapse … is that there’s a lot of room for upward mobility. At least that’s what Janice in HR says.”
informative
Plot or Character Driven:
N/A
Strong character development:
No
StoryGraph I am begging you to release the feature that allows you to hide your recently read filth from your friends.
Another epic fantasy door stopper that did not earn its page count. I suffered through it all. I deserve some sort of medal.
Boring. Characters I felt nothing for. Deux ex machinas everywhere that robbed the book of tension and stakes. Predictable character deaths that felt like Shannon wanted to imitate Grrm but didn’t have the guts to really kill off anyone of consequence. A romance? No. This was not romance. Choppy, monotonous sentence structure. I know this is very personal but I really did not care for Shannon’s style of prose. I felt like it was hard to read - almost like trying to swim upstream instead of just flowing down a river, digesting information. The most low-effort obvious metaphors. Sabran is a rose but also so are her nipples, guys. Often done as similies that I felt put distance between me and the text. She’d do this thing where she’d describe a part instead of the whole during fight scenes (can’t remember the name for this figure of speech) and I’ve never felt so removed from the action going on.
World building - this is just a mash up of medieval history in the east and west. I felt like Shannon put such an emphasis on using period-correct names for pieces of clothing and listing food and didn’t give nearly as many shits about storytelling.
Glossaries and timelines and character lists: I’m sorry, y’all, but these need to be supplemental. You should be able to understand the book without them.
Maps: the fuck couldn’t we get a full map? Why were the place names off to the sides in the ocean?? Who made this? 👎
I complained in the buddy read but I’m going to complain here. At over 700 pages, we have time to go into detail about beheadings and other acts of violence. We get ALLLMOST sex scenes that read like some fade-to-black boddice ripper from a 1990s historical romance. I get that folks have different levels of comfort with on page “spice” 🙄 and “smut” 🙄. But I really want folks, particularly in the epic fantasy community, to explain to me why it’s okay or meaningful or drives the plot forward to have on-page violence yet a consensual sex scene serves no purpose? Just titillates? Why can’t I be MFin titillated, Matt. Reading about DRAGONS isn’t meant to entertain me too?!? Be so for real.
Some of you are out here crying feminism! Queer representation! In epic fantasy! And I get that there is not a lot out there that has reached this level of commercial success. I just feel like this book, at the end of the day, gave us crumbs. I think we can do a lot better.
Boring. Characters I felt nothing for. Deux ex machinas everywhere that robbed the book of tension and stakes. Predictable character deaths that felt like Shannon wanted to imitate Grrm but didn’t have the guts to really kill off anyone of consequence. A romance? No. This was not romance. Choppy, monotonous sentence structure. I know this is very personal but I really did not care for Shannon’s style of prose. I felt like it was hard to read - almost like trying to swim upstream instead of just flowing down a river, digesting information. The most low-effort obvious metaphors. Sabran is a rose but also so are her nipples, guys. Often done as similies that I felt put distance between me and the text. She’d do this thing where she’d describe a part instead of the whole during fight scenes (can’t remember the name for this figure of speech) and I’ve never felt so removed from the action going on.
World building - this is just a mash up of medieval history in the east and west. I felt like Shannon put such an emphasis on using period-correct names for pieces of clothing and listing food and didn’t give nearly as many shits about storytelling.
Glossaries and timelines and character lists: I’m sorry, y’all, but these need to be supplemental. You should be able to understand the book without them.
Maps: the fuck couldn’t we get a full map? Why were the place names off to the sides in the ocean?? Who made this? 👎
I complained in the buddy read but I’m going to complain here. At over 700 pages, we have time to go into detail about beheadings and other acts of violence. We get ALLLMOST sex scenes that read like some fade-to-black boddice ripper from a 1990s historical romance. I get that folks have different levels of comfort with on page “spice” 🙄 and “smut” 🙄. But I really want folks, particularly in the epic fantasy community, to explain to me why it’s okay or meaningful or drives the plot forward to have on-page violence yet a consensual sex scene serves no purpose? Just titillates? Why can’t I be MFin titillated, Matt. Reading about DRAGONS isn’t meant to entertain me too?!? Be so for real.
Some of you are out here crying feminism! Queer representation! In epic fantasy! And I get that there is not a lot out there that has reached this level of commercial success. I just feel like this book, at the end of the day, gave us crumbs. I think we can do a lot better.
This book is a prime example of high concept low value.
- Beautiful cover, great synopsis.
- Painfully amateurish writing. Poor execution.
The central mystery so obviously signposted at . . . 15% that it feels like there is no point finishing the rest of the book?!?! Girlfriend I already know what really happened and who the bad guys are!!!
What is the purpose of putting one character POV in First and one in Third? Especially when Penner is not skilled enough to pull off First Person without info dumping, editorializing, and hopping back to random scenes in the past? (I am whining here but I actually liked it in Starling House, because I think Harrow writes fabulous characters, everyone here is stale bread)
Dumb, manipulative writing tactics: Suddenly a stranger bursts through the door and it was . . . Lulz next chapter is a different character and we have hopped back in time. This is not consensual edging, Sarah Penner. Oklahoma.
I can already tell we’re gonna shoe horn in a romance that doesn’t need to be there (I say this as a die hard Romance reader, just stop writing romantic subplots just to write them if you’re not gonna do them well).
Anyways Penner is a NYT Bestseller and I’m not so *shakes fist at sky*
DNF at 80%. I think I’ve decided if I DNF at least 3/4 of the way through I’m allowed to count it.
Not to sound like a pervert, but the sex scenes were no bueno. Gosh I can’t believe I really have an opinion on this but yeah. Way too quick and clinical.
If you’re particular about the descriptive anatomy words used in romance novels, you may be distressed to know thatslit, hole and cream were used in nearly the same sentence at one point.
Not to sound like a pervert, but the sex scenes were no bueno. Gosh I can’t believe I really have an opinion on this but yeah. Way too quick and clinical.
If you’re particular about the descriptive anatomy words used in romance novels, you may be distressed to know that
dark
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
Respectfully, this book was weird as fuck. And it also made me cry.
New question to ask your partner - would you still love me if I turned into a jellyfish?
adventurous
mysterious
Plot or Character Driven:
Plot
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
No
Do you want to read Fourth Wing? Uncomfortable reading books written from The Female Gaze? Never fear, James Islington is here. Presenting The Will of the Many: Fourth Wing For Boys™️
Instead of an insufferable 20-year old horny lady who always beats the odds despite her “disadvantages” - we have an insufferable 17-year-old heterosexual homoromantic boy who always beats the odds despite his “disadvantages.” He’s just smarter and better than everyone.
Instead of an insufferable 20-year old horny lady who always beats the odds despite her “disadvantages” - we have an insufferable 17-year-old heterosexual homoromantic boy who always beats the odds despite his “disadvantages.” He’s just smarter and better than everyone.
- Indefensibly long, this book has a higher word count than The Priory of the Orange Tree!
- Indefensibly boring for the first 400 pages!
- How does the magic system work? Shhhh there are two more books to explain all that later.
- Adverbs! So many adverbs! One hundred pages could have been cut if we removed all these adverbs!
- Our main character is such a boy genius his POV borders on omniscient! Such good writing!
- Scoping. We see pretty much every single thing our plucky Gary Stu does. We could have cut another hundred pages by cutting some mundane and unnecessary scenes.
- No damsels in distress here, most of the women are bad guys! Equality!!!
- The resistance's position is that normies existing in an unjust society share equal culpability with those in positions of power, thus justifying mass murder! Nuance! Political commentary! Everyone is a bad guy except for a 17-year old boy, a couple of his bros, and oh yeah - his dad, who was a king, but like a good king! He really cared, you guys!
- Chapters start with either cliche platitudes from our boy genius's dead dad OR with our boy genius miraculously waking up in a medical ward after *somehow* surviving unsurvivable circumstances!
- Our main character is maybe possibly brown or a white person with sun-dark skin. We don’t have to be super clear here. Representation!!!
- The last hundred pages are infuriatingly pretty good! This took me five months to slog through!
Was it borderline manipulative to include an absolutely bangin cliffhanger ending after frittering around for 600 pages? Sure felt like it.
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