*3.5 stars

that .5 stars is for baz grimm-pitch and baz grimm-pitch alone.

*3.75 stars

shed tears all throughout this, goddamn. ANYWAYS read this, friends. and also read the interview at the end with meredith russo, it's amazing and wonderful. ok thanks

it was... aight. writing was fine, characters were rather 2-D but likable enough, but whew that depiction of mental illness. i'm reading this as something to read during mental illness awareness week, and this was just not it. i can't even blame the time it was written, but i can't stand the fact that there were no actual signs of alex's mental illness showing itself rather than having hallucinations and delusions (which the author decides to use interchangeably).
i wish she used this opportunity to show that schizophrenia can be more than hallucinations and hearing things; it involves disorganized thinking, loss of motor skills, apathy,the "blunting" of mood and affect, lack of social interest. i just couldn't believe a story of a teenage girl with schizophrenia not experiencing any negative symptoms, or even really positive symptoms, besides auditory and visual hallucinations - which, mind you, are incredibly common among people with schizophrenia, but not the most seen nor observed symptom.
as a social work major, and as someone who has had a break in their psyche where i experienced what was diagnosed as schizophreniform, i've had my fair share of exposure to schizophrenia symptoms, and alex's experience may be someone's experience with the disorder, but it is not a statistically accurate depiction ready enough for everyday consumers to read and think, "oh, wow, this must be what everyone feels with schizophrenia."
also - weird, but a bit of a pet peeve, i couldn't believe the part about alex being diagnosed with schizophrenia at 7-years-old. no WAY would a child psychologist DIAGNOSE a child with schizophrenia, when it may as well be bipolar disorder, lack of sleep, or, which is mostly the case in children under the age of 12, high fevers and extreme immunity compromise. schizophrenia is a diagnosis that will stay with that child for the rest of their life, and they may as well have it and all, but usually adults over the age of 18 are diagnosed, and in women, it's statistically observed even later than 18.
all in all, i just couldn't get behind the message of this book. her mother was terrible in dealing with alex's mental illness, her friends were boring, the romance was boring as well when it became an actual romance, and the ending was less than amazing. yoinks. would not recommend.

*4.25 stars

this is a book i wish i read when i was a little younger; i feel as though me at 17 would've appreciated reading what mickey had gone theough, and how she overcame it at the end.

all in all, a great book that left me feeling pretty empty by the end of it.

*3.5 stars

this was a good thriller im not gonna lie . deserves some rights, the writing is amazing and i'm in need of this author's next work bc god, it was so GOOD.

the story tho,,, i guessed the ending from like 25%, it kept me engaged enough to jeep going, but i had the entire thing figured out real quickly.

theo was compelling as a main character and unreliable narrator, i could never actually bring up enough trust to believe everything he was saying, but i was sympathetic and almost empathetic towards him throughout the book. he proved very likable, and i could tell in some way, he truly cared for his craft. DESPITE ALL THAT, still not a good guy, 0/10 would not anti-hero stan.

alicia was intriguing but i felt as though her arc nearer towards the end could've been more dynamic. i liked the head of the ward he was interesting. surprisingly, the side characters were pretty well-developed, i suspected them all.

the mystery was another aspect i didn't quite enjoy. a few tropes i don't tend to like in plot twists and reveals happened, that i also guessed, but all in all, i was hooked.

wait why did everyone hate the ending,,, it was basic, yeah, but it wasn't shite :(