Take a photo of a barcode or cover
This is a romance story featuring a young Black woman who identifies as asexual. As a woman who also identifies as asexual, I really appreciated this character and story.
I did get a few nice tips and techniques out of this book (like Weekly Rhythm Registers, building bookend morning and evening routines, and the habits and behavior formula), but there were things that bothered me.
First, Darren Hardy doesn’t list or mention a single woman who is a superachiever or highly success in their career. There’s a list of six men at the beginning of Chapter 4 as examples of “superachievers.” Six men, from CEOs to athletes. Why not list some women there? Why not make it equal 3 men, 3 women? Why not acknowledge your female and feminine audience and show you also notice and pay attention to and learn from smart women? There are many successful women out there. After all, there have been women featured in SUCCESS magazine (which he owns), proving that women are also successful in their fields and read SUCCESS magazine.
I wonder if this book were to be given an update with a new edition (it was first published in 2011) if the author would include more women as inspirational references. An easy one would be to swap out the mentions and story for Michael Phelps for Simone Biles.
But that’s not all… There’s not a single quote by a successful woman throughout the entire book. Nor is there a reference to a woman’s technique or routine for success as an example to support his theories. Only in the final chapter is Oprah’s name dropped, which I was wondering why she wasn’t mentioned in the very beginning of the book, but she’s not discussed because of a technique or routine. No, what he decides to talk about is Oprah’s generosity and how she gave an entire audience new cars. Me: Really? Oprah made “a-ha” moments legendary and that’s what you go with? So, no, this mention of Oprah and her quote “Everybody gets a car” does not count.
He totally missed a great example of a morning routine (for Chapter 4) in not talking about Michelle Obama’s routine while she was First Lady, in which she’d wake up at 4:30 am to exercise, even before Barrack would get to the gym. I read that in O Magazine when Oprah shared the cover with Michelle in 2009. Maybe Darren should read O Magazine…
Only a few times were women mentioned and they were people Darren helped by giving his advice to them and supposedly making their lives better.
Also, there’s four pages of praise for his book (24 quotes in total) and there’s only ONE quote by women on the third page of praises. (I looked them up to be sure.)
All of that is telling in my opinion.
The other things that bugged me… “thunderous thighs;” how many examples had to do with losing weight and being thin as the ultimate goal, which encourages fat shaming; and his overall tone and how self-absorbed he is.
Also, I didn’t like how he says his friend didn’t get a job because he didn’t follow Darren’s over-the-top, aggressive advice of buttering people up with tons of gifts and finding anyone he knows who knows someone in an organization to bug them and get them to put in a good word for him. That advice made me cringe. But so did the fact that Darren believes his friend lost the job because he didn’t follow Darren’s advice to make an impression. This is something that I noticed a couple of other times. Darren believes that anyone who doesn’t follow his advice and fails is proof that he’s not just right but better. That’s the tone he gives off.
Finally, the book is very short, but it’s way too long for this concept. It could’ve been COMPOUNDed into a concise, informative article for his magazine and had a bigger EFFECT (see what I did there?), minus the annoying attitude of being superior (hopefully) and the bits that rubbed me the wrong way.
First, Darren Hardy doesn’t list or mention a single woman who is a superachiever or highly success in their career. There’s a list of six men at the beginning of Chapter 4 as examples of “superachievers.” Six men, from CEOs to athletes. Why not list some women there? Why not make it equal 3 men, 3 women? Why not acknowledge your female and feminine audience and show you also notice and pay attention to and learn from smart women? There are many successful women out there. After all, there have been women featured in SUCCESS magazine (which he owns), proving that women are also successful in their fields and read SUCCESS magazine.
I wonder if this book were to be given an update with a new edition (it was first published in 2011) if the author would include more women as inspirational references. An easy one would be to swap out the mentions and story for Michael Phelps for Simone Biles.
But that’s not all… There’s not a single quote by a successful woman throughout the entire book. Nor is there a reference to a woman’s technique or routine for success as an example to support his theories. Only in the final chapter is Oprah’s name dropped, which I was wondering why she wasn’t mentioned in the very beginning of the book, but she’s not discussed because of a technique or routine. No, what he decides to talk about is Oprah’s generosity and how she gave an entire audience new cars. Me: Really? Oprah made “a-ha” moments legendary and that’s what you go with? So, no, this mention of Oprah and her quote “Everybody gets a car” does not count.
He totally missed a great example of a morning routine (for Chapter 4) in not talking about Michelle Obama’s routine while she was First Lady, in which she’d wake up at 4:30 am to exercise, even before Barrack would get to the gym. I read that in O Magazine when Oprah shared the cover with Michelle in 2009. Maybe Darren should read O Magazine…
Only a few times were women mentioned and they were people Darren helped by giving his advice to them and supposedly making their lives better.
Also, there’s four pages of praise for his book (24 quotes in total) and there’s only ONE quote by women on the third page of praises. (I looked them up to be sure.)
All of that is telling in my opinion.
The other things that bugged me… “thunderous thighs;” how many examples had to do with losing weight and being thin as the ultimate goal, which encourages fat shaming; and his overall tone and how self-absorbed he is.
Also, I didn’t like how he says his friend didn’t get a job because he didn’t follow Darren’s over-the-top, aggressive advice of buttering people up with tons of gifts and finding anyone he knows who knows someone in an organization to bug them and get them to put in a good word for him. That advice made me cringe. But so did the fact that Darren believes his friend lost the job because he didn’t follow Darren’s advice to make an impression. This is something that I noticed a couple of other times. Darren believes that anyone who doesn’t follow his advice and fails is proof that he’s not just right but better. That’s the tone he gives off.
Finally, the book is very short, but it’s way too long for this concept. It could’ve been COMPOUNDed into a concise, informative article for his magazine and had a bigger EFFECT (see what I did there?), minus the annoying attitude of being superior (hopefully) and the bits that rubbed me the wrong way.
My full review is on my blog: https://www.writewithfey.com/2022/03/the-5-second-rule-books-for-writers.html
I loved this story. It was perfect, and Quan and Anna were perfect for each other. I have to admit that I didn’t like Anna while reading the first two chapters, which were in her point-of-view, but I kept on reading. Soon, I connected to her more and appreciated her.
I loved Quan, but I knew I would. He had small roles in the other two books, but whenever he showed up, I loved him with how much he cares and how stable and wise he is.
This story involved so much:
- past trauma and healing from it
- acceptance (accepting yourself and others)
- standing up for yourself
- grief
- depression
- more healing
- consent and comfort and openness in sexual situations
- and, of course, a character on the autism spectrum
I loved the mention of The Octopus Teacher on Netflix. As soon as the documentary was described, I knew which one it was. After I finished reading, I watched it for the second time. ❤️ 🐙
I loved the mention of The Octopus Teacher on Netflix. As soon as the documentary was described, I knew which one it was. After I finished reading, I watched it for the second time. ❤️ 🐙
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, Grief
slow-paced
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
I came into reading this book thinking I’d love it. There were things I did love but also a lot I didn’t.
Here’s a couple of things that bothered me:
- Esme doesn’t ask Khai why he reacts the way he does when he sees her riding his motorcycle soon after the incident happens. She doesn’t even wonder about it, which is odd considering she kept looking at the garage and wondering why he didn’t park his car in there. She wondered that a lot and yet she doesn’t think about his reaction once after the fact, which should be much more curious-inducing than the fact that he parks on the curb. She doesn’t glance at the garage and wonder to herself what that motorcycle means to him and if/how she could ask him about it. Only on the way to a wedding and the sight of his bird-shit windshield does she ask why he doesn’t park in the garage, but she gets nowhere because she doesn’t ask the right questions and then he changes the subject. The whole thing with the motorcycle was made needlessly complicated.
- Side Note: the fact Esme takes off on Khai’s motorcycle, which she’d just found, without asking him for permission also bugged me. I kept thinking, “who does that?”
- Khai never wondered what Esme’s nightmares were about. When she crawled into bed with him, he had a moment when he questioned internally what she meant when she said, “they took her from me,” but that was it. I understand that it could be part of his personality, but later he did think about the fact that she had nightmares but still didn’t wonder why or what her nightmares were about.
- Esme didn't ask how much her medical bill from the clinic was when she twisted her ankle. Khai paid for it before the nurse showed her the bill. She had every right to ask how much it was since it was her medical bill. She also didn’t ask in order to pay him back for her medical bill (which was odd considering she had wanted to pay him back for the cell phone he bought her as a gift when she first got there). She didn’t even address the fact that he paid for it when she didn’t ask him to. All of that was very weird to me, especially since she had wanted to prove she’s capable and can do things on her own.
- Khai’s family kept hinting that he was rich, which always confused Esme, but she never inquired what they meant. She could’ve. She could’ve asked his mom, but she never did. She assumed he was a lowly worker who didn’t earn much and had a tiny office through the entire story, which obviously was not the case. The fact she was never told different or never asked him about his work other than to make him like her (read: to seduce him) was strange to me. I also wondered why his mom didn’t tell her he’s rich, or what his position in the company was, as a way to win her over, along with his good looks. The fact his position and money were hinted at a few times meant it was not a secret. And the other weird thing is, in the epilogue, it was said that she *still* didn’t know how much money he had. Still? After all that time and their relationship progressing? That should’ve been a conversation at some point between adults in a relationship.
- The fact that she was a mom and had a daughter seemed to be something Esme forgot throughout much of the story. It felt very much like an after thought and rubbed me the wrong way. We didn’t even see them interact in person (like before she flies to America) until the very end of the story. If Esme being a mom was removed from the story, nothing would be impacted by that. She still could’ve done all this for her family and her future.
- Another thing that was treated like an afterthought was Esme wanting to find her dad. They made one trip, and a few unsuccessful phone calls were described, but other than that, there wasn’t any purpose for this subplot. It barely added emotion and didn’t contribute to the storyline except for a few scenes. This could also be removed and not impact the storyline at all.
- After reading two books by Helen Hoang, I have to say that the conclusions her characters make and how they come to their (wrong) conclusions is maddening to me. In other words…annoying.
What I liked:
- virgin hero
- autistic hero
- a hero who reads books at weddings
- a hero who committed to sex education through books to please his partner
So, what I liked about this book was ALL Khai. I did not care for Esme, sorry it say.
