I didn't know what to expect going into this; I only knew that it was the only Toni Morrison book currently available on Libby and that I guessed that's where I was starting.

This book was a look at how life hurts everyone. How people are broken and make horrible, horrible mistakes and why they do what they do. How they can become more than their pain. Toni Morrison's writing style is one I adored, and listening to her read the audiobook made the experience that much more personal, that much more raw. I really appreciate this book and look forward to reading more of her works in the future.

Also; for the people that are friends with me because I read YA: this is adult, not YA. As such, it has quite a bit of adult content in it. I'd assume most people would know that but, still putting it out there.

ARC provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed are my own.

It's official: Elizabeth Lim is one of my favorite authors. This book killed me. I'm not kidding. I actually cried. ACTUAL T E A R S. For those of you who don't know me, that's an extremely rare occurrence, especially at something in a book. And yet, here I am, still sniffling as I try to gather my jumble of emotions into a coherent review that tells you how much I loved this.

This was even better than I was expecting it to be. How is that possible? I'm not really sure. But oh my gosh, this book blew me away. I felt nearly every single freaking emotion it's possible to feel while I read this. How did she do that?? How did she make me care so much for these characters and for this world?

As this is a sequel, there isn't much I can say without going into spoilers but I can say this much: this book is more than beautiful descriptions, lush landscapes, and one of my favorite book romances (it definitely has all of that though). At its heart, it's a story of what it means to be human. It is a story of growth and loss and pain and change. When I finished 'Spin the Dawn' last year, I didn't know how to feel about the ending. I could see the potential, but I was worried the author wasn't intending to take the story in the direction I hoped she would. I had nothing to worry about. She exceeded my expectations and handled this book beautifully.

I am still freaking out that I was blessed enough to receive an ARC of this book. I can already say with 100% certainty that this is one of my favorite books of the year and that I will read anything this woman writes. I'm serious.

I can't wait for everyone to read this. You guys aren't ready.

I can't believe this is a thing that exists

TW: self harm, suicide, mental illness, trauma, grief, manipulation (emotional, physical, and mental), abusive relationships, hinted rape.

Before I get into the actual review, I want to say that the rep for self-harm in this book can be - in my opinion - harmful. The author had good intentions, and I believe she wanted to craft a powerful story of overcoming these struggles. However, so much time is spent in this head space and very little is spent overcoming it. The first mention of self harm is literally on page 2. If you want to read it, please make sure you're in the right head space and take care of yourself.

Now, onto the actual review. There are going to be spoilers. Like, a lot. And I'm not going to block them because I'm past that point. Only keep reading if you don't care about spoilers, or you've already read this.

Ready?


On to the spoilers.

Alright, so the story starts with our protagonist, Sonya, feeling the overwhelming auras of the starving villagers trying to break into the convent she and the other auraseers reside in. While everyone else is saying letting the peasants in would be their ruin, Sonya feels overcome by their pain and emotions so she locks nearly every auraseer in a room and rushes to let the peasants in. Yet, in a twist of fate, wolves show up and chase every single peasant away except for a man suffering from severe madness. Still wanting to help, Sonya welcomes him in to their home. She becomes overwhelmed by his madness and reaches for the flame in the fireplace, causing half the convent (the side with the locked auraseers) to burn down. (Sonya is fine, but the mad man is dead. I'm not exactly sure how.)

Feeling incredibly guilty, Sonya realizes - with relief - that the fire didn't touch the other side of the convent where her sick best friend was being tended to. Here's the first place where the rep gets a bit uncomfortable.

We find out on page 2 that Sonya's friend, Yuliya, sought an emotional escape from the overwhelming auras by self-harming. (And when Sonya mentions this to their caretaker, the caretaker describes it as 'her emotional release' and urges Sonya to find her own??) When the other half of the convent burnt down Yuliya had just come out of her fever and, feeling the agony of her fellow auraseers burning to death, took her own life. So... yeah.

From here, things get dodgy so I'm not going to explain them plot-point by plot-point and instead focus on the things that stood out to me.

Along the lines of self-harm rep, self-harm isn't always about causing physical lacerations. And we see this with Sonya throughout the book as she clutches an idol that is stained with Yuliya's blood so she can relive the pain of her best friend's death repetitively as a punishment for her actions that led to this. It isn't a constant thing, but it happens enough. At the very end of the book, she allows herself to feel the aura long enough to feel the moment Yuliya entered the euphoria of the afterlife. Which.... yeah, I don't like this. I don't like that it's telling a YA audience that this girl killed herself, it hurt until the euphoria set in. It would be one thing if this book was targeting an adult audience that isn't highly susceptible to influence, but it wasn't. There's a fine line between finding peace about death, and making it sound like there's a reward for suicide.


Moving on to the love triangle.

Which isn't, really, a love triangle. This is basically Cal and Maven 2.0. Except, even Maven had more standards than this dude and yet Valko (emperor and one part of the faux love triangle) kills two people the whole book. The difference here is that Maven wasn't a perv, and Valko most definitely is. I swear all this man thought about was sex and making his brother angry.

With that being said, I don't believe the author meant this as a love triangle. She meant it as a clear indicator of a healthy relationship (Anton) and a toxic one (Valko). She literally wrote parallel experiences that show the differences in their character. For example. a senator guy calls Sonya a whore in front of Valko and our beloved perv is like, "Yeah, no, bro, you're totally right." In contrast, several chapters later, a woman calls Sonya a tart in front of Anton and my man LOSES IT. "She is a woman of HONOR." And the whole spill. Quite admirable.

Now, while I admire the author for her attempt at flipping the usual love triangle trope on his head, that doesn't make it so that I can forgive the lack of plot. 3/4s (if not more) of this book consist of Sonya making out with Valko, feeling guilty, remembering she loves Anton, before making out with Valko again, and on and on the cycle goes.

Which actually leads me to my next point.


This is the tropiest book I've ever read.

I'm not exaggerating. Main character that is bland, blond, skinny and has more power than everyone else? Check. A love triangle with two brothers, one good and in power, the other righteous and fighting for his kingdom? Check. One of the love interests pushing the girl away because he 'knows what's good for her'? Check. A young maid the MC befriends that's in love with a soldier and also can't read? Check. A grumpy lady's maid? Check. Absent parents? Check. Dead parents? Check. A creepy senator? Check. A rebellion with half baked plans that somehow work out? Check.

I know this book is from the 2015 era and I get that things were very cookie cutter during that time, but holy crap.


Finally, let's talk about our main character.

The main character cried. A lot. Like, a lot a lot. As in, I don't remember a single scene where she doesn't cry a little. I get that this was part of her empathic nature and her inability to separate her emotions from everyone else's but goodness gracious it got annoying. Then there was the matter of every decision she made being the consequence of someone else's emotions, therefore absolving her of any and all guilt, as well as personality. This girl had no agency, no beliefs, no morals other than 'I won't have sex with Valko, but I'll do pretty much anything else', and added nothing to the kingdom. Idek why the emperor still felt the need for a soveriegn auraseer when she did NOTHING.

And yet Anton still had his, 'You're my savior' speech for her. What did she save you from, buddy? What has she done in this entire 528 page book to save anyone or anything? She cried, then she cried, then she made out with Valko, then she cried, cried again before making out with Valko, and THEN coming to your room to make out with you. *facepalms* If I was an empath, this girl would be insulting to me. Feeling the emotions of others doesn't mean you're a limp noodle with no personality.


Overall

I think it's safe to say I won't be continuing the series. I gave it 2 stars because the author had some really clever ideas, and I found the concept (as well as some of the settings) to be quite neat; it just never fully delivered. I wouldn't really recommend this to anyone, except for maybe Maven Calore so he can feel a little better about himself.

ARC provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed are my own.

Have you seen the movie 'Hook'? Okay, so imagine that it took place in the desert and Captain Hook had a daughter that he was going to force to marry an even worse version of Desert Captain Hook, so his daughter runs away to the Desert Lost Boys and falls in love with Off-Brand Desert Peter Pan before returning to take her rightful place as Desert Pirate Princess. If that made any sense at all, that's basically the entire book.

So... yeah... there's that.

I didn't *hate* this, but I didn't enjoy it either. Part of that - which I don't blame the book for - is because it wasn't what I was expecting (I had more of an arena, bachelor+Hunger Games, adventure, coming-of-age story in mind), and the other part is due to problems with the story. It started off strong with Princess Kateri about to face her second to last suitor in the arena, setting the tone of the story quite quickly. However, things went downhill fast.

My main qualm was with our main character. On the surface, Kateri is everything a YA heroine should be. A strong, fierce girl willing to learn from her mistakes and the mistakes of those that came before her. However, that's simply on the surface. We are told constantly that Kateri has been trained since childhood to be a warrior, with emphasis on the amount of self control she's meant to have. And then, the second she finds out information that is unpleasant, she throws a tantrum complete with yelling at her undeserving servant and tearing apart her closet.

Don't get me started on the fact the main antagonist, that's supposed to be extremely threatening, discusses his evil plans under the pRINCESS' WINDOW. Like... what. the. heck.

This book was also pitched as feminist, which is hilarious. Other than a midwife aunt that is on page for five seconds, there are only two female characters and guess what? They both hate each other! Who coulda guessed? *sigh* There's also the problem with Kateri hating the idea of marriage, seeing engagement bracelets as 'shackles', and then! Once she falls in love, she thinks 'huh, love is a chain! a chain that connects us to the ones we love'. Please tell me I'm not the only one that sees a problem here? The author meant well, that much is clear, but she definitely missed the mark on this aspect.

Tie all of that up with a plot that is filled with conveniences and so. many. tropes., it let me down. I know I sound like I hated this book, and that isn't the case. I won't lie and say I enjoyed it, because I didn't, but I can see why people would. Especially if someone was just getting into YA and wasn't used to all of the over-used plot devices and tropes the story used.

I still want to try some of the author's other works, this one just missed the mark for me, unfortunately.

Dang. Okay. This was DEFINITELY a solid sequel.

The mystery was even better this time around. The humor was impeccable, and I love Nate so, so freaking much. I was reading this as an eBook through Libby and I can't tell you how many lines of Nate's dialogue I highlighted. He's like, the character version of my spirit animal if I was less of an extrovert. Stevie grew so much as a character, and the anxiety rep in this book took my breath away. (No horrible pun intended.) There were so many lines that I could have written myself with how accurate they were.

However. I can't rate this book as high as all of the above makes it sound like it deserves. It's an ethical thing, and I know that most people don't adhere to the same moral code I do. (I also want to make it clear that I don't think I'm better than someone else bc I have the beliefs I have.) These are *my* personal beliefs and I completely understand people disagreeing with them. You live your life, young butterfly. If I force my beliefs on you, they aren't your beliefs, they're your trauma lol. Anyway, some things (such as the amount of language) ((I sound like Captain America, and I'm only mostly sorry)) kept me from enjoying it as much as I could have. I'm not saying I never cuss, because that would be a lie, I just... so many times taking the Lord's name in vain. So. many.

Anyway, THAT ENDING. WHATEVER THE HECK DAVID'S PROBLEM IS. AHHHHH.