The main character's way of speaking is so unrealistic that I'm just done at page 18.

Just...no. Not with dogs.

This is going to sound silly, but one of my pet peeves is foreshadowing with the "little did he know" phrase. I've never read a good book that had that phrase in it. This book had a variation of this sentence twice in eight pages. 

The writing style didn't do it for me and the main character was annoying. I did think Pip, Jason, and Rooney were kind of interesting, and I liked the LGBTQIA+ representation. And I liked the detail of Rooney using her Norton Anthology as a doorstop, because those things are heavy enough and big enough to be used as such.