I went into this expecting to like it, but I don't know...this book was just not for me.

I know that part of the reason I didn't enjoy this book as much as I thought I would was because it was slightly triggering. It brought back old and fresh memories of things that have happened to me/are happening to me and it honestly made me angry and frustrated. Mostly at the way my culture is. I sort of took my anger out on this book, so I apologize in advance.

I did like the diversity though, and that was the main reason I wanted to read this. That and the fact that it deals with arranged marriage in a more positive light. It's not your typical girl-is-forced-to-marry-cousin-from-Pakistan/India story. While the main characters aren't Muslim, so their version of arranged marriage is different from my experience, there were many parts that were familiar.

I really hated Rishi as a character. He's just so naive and romantic and stupid. And also very, very creepy. That scene where Dimple throws her coffee at him was 10000000% justified, but it made no sense to me why she invited him to pizza afterwards. Like I'm sorry, but if I had no idea my parents set me up with someone, and then that said person came up to me and introduced himself as my future husband, I would run to the opposite end of the world and if he tried to come back to woo me, I'd kill him. And I'd have an all out war against my parents lol

I should add that I am the least romantic person to have ever existed, so contemporary romances are usually not my thing. But this book made me gag and cringe and want to throw up 90% of the time. I was constantly rolling my eyes cause of how cheesy some lines were or because of whatever Rishi was saying to Dimple. Also, Rishi's inner monologue made me want to choke him. He's way too obsessed with Dimple's smile and her shampoo, it's not normal.

The one part that I really hated because of how accurate it was, but also liked cause of how accurate it was lol...were the scenes where culture and family issues were discussed. Especially the focus on how mysognistic South Asian culture actually can be. And it made me rant on twitter lol so here's the link to the thread if you're interested: twitter thread

I guess seeing the truth on paper made me very passionate and angry about the topic, especially since its so relevant to my own life.

The last half of the book turned into a Bollywood film – I've never seen a Bollywood movie, but I'm pretty sure this is what they're like. Ashish showing up and the drama that followed was something I wasn't expecting, and the whole Rishi realizing his brother isn't as horrible as he thought scene was kind of cliche and fast. What really annoyed me was the ending.

The whole fight scene was so predictable. I was waiting for it to happen from the beginning. And then we have the typical Bollywood ending, where both characters are trying to find each other to profess their love, and then they finally meet and say how sorry they were and it was a mistake, and then they get back together, the scene explodes in colour and song, and everyone is happy.

Dimple's mother was never actually "disappointed" but just sad because Dimple was sad. CAN I JUST SAY HOW UTTERLY RIDICULOUS THIS WAS. Like there is no way that Dimple's mother was just sad. No, she's manipulative. And what would have actually happened was that she would have made Dimple feel terrible until some other potential husband came around, or Dimple would have given in and appeased her mother by wearing make up and becoming more domestic. There is no way that that scene in Dimple's room with her mother would have occurred. Maybe a very very small percent chance, but yeah, not realistic.

And Rishi telling his father he wants to do comics instead of engineering and his father eventually agreeing...yeah no. Also not happening.

I get that the point of this book is to show readers that you can follow your dreams and still stay within traditions and culture. And I guess it gives people hope that something like this can happen – that they too can have a happy ending. And maybe I'm just angry cause of how real this is to me, or I'm becoming a pessimist, but it's not what would have actually happened. But at the same time, I don't know if I would have been any happier if the author had ended it with Rishi having to go to school for engineering and Dimple being miserable cause her mother is miserable. I would have definitely felt like it was more realistic, but it does make this contemporary rather sad and bleak.

So I don't know. This book was definitely not for me. My past experiences tainted my reading experiences for sure, but besides that I really did not like the plot or Rishi, and Dimple was mostly okay.

Overall: 2/5 stars

ahh this book...I don't even know where to start!

I've always been interested in the Mongols, but never got around to learning more about them, so this was actually a good introduction! The author does say that she took some liberties and compressed timelines and not everything is accurate, but it was still interesting learning about some of the important figures during this period in history!

The writing is in first person, and though it took me a while to get into it, by the end everything made so much more sense. Even though you're reading through the perspective of the main character, Jinghua, you're sort of left in the dark about her past. Little snippets here and there are revealed, but it's not enough to totally understand what happened to her.

We follow the story of Jinghua. All we know is that she's from the former Song Empire and was taken as a slave when the Song Empire fell. She works for Timur Khan aka the Khan of the Kipchak Khanate, which is a part of the Mongol Empire. But with the fall of the Kipchak Khanate after an unsuccessful battle, she finds herself joining Timur and his youngest son, Khalaf, on the run.

Jinghua is a really interesting character. She's conflicted when it comes to her choices. For one, the Mongols were the ones who brought about the end of her homeland, resulting in her enslavement. But on the other hand, Khalaf shows her a kindness that makes her rethink everything. And by running away with him and his father, she has a chance at returning home again.

Khalaf was an amazing character. He and his father are both Muslim converts, though Khalaf seems to take it more seriously than his father. He's learned and reads a lot, having studied in Isfahan for years, and he's just really likeable. I loved the relationship progression between him and Jinghua. It had me squealing and laughing out loud. I don't know if I would necessarily categorize it as instalove – since as I said before, Jinghua is conflicted between being loyal to her homeland vs. trusting herself. She constantly fights with her feelings, but Khalaf is just so charming lol even I was smitten.

Timur is a hilarious old goat and while he can be infuriating, his character development is just spot on, and I loved him by the end! He also comes up with the most unique insults, honestly he deserves an award for it lol

The book switches back and forth between the present and the past (with more of a focus on the past). And the entire time, I was trying to figure out where the story was going and what was going to happen. But wow...that ending. It took a turn I wasn't expecting, that I think no one was expecting? There were times when Jinghua felt a bit whiny, especially when she kept on saying how ugly and plain she is. Her feelings for Khalaf also kind of went back and forth, and it was difficult to understand what she wanted and why it was so difficult for her to make a choice. But everything made so much more sense closer to the end. I was still not expecting or prepared for that ending, but it fit well for the story.

The Muslim rep and poc characters were just so good! I wasn't expecting this much Muslim rep, but we have Khalaf praying, a mention of doing wudhu (both with water and sand! bonus points for the sand part), verses of the Quran and other poetry from the time period. It was just really well written and incorporated. I loved seeing some of my daily life in a book. And it reminded me of The City of Brass. So if you've read that, and loved Alizayd al Qahtani as much as I did, then you'll really enjoy this book!

Rating: 4.5/5 stars

HIGHLY, HIGHLY RECOMMEND!

The mixed reviews I heard before going into this book, made me slightly hesitant. I wasn't expecting to love this as much as I did, though it did make me angry and frustrated at the same time.

The writing was absolutely breathtaking! Honestly the whimsical, magical feel of the words was probably 80% of the reason I loved this book as much as I did. Marissa Meyer's writing can honestly convert the least romantic person on Earth, into a squealing, I-ship-this-so-much fangirl.

Speaking of the romance, I'm surprised I loved it as much as I did. Catherine, our main character, does sort of fall in love with Jest, the Joker, pretty quickly, but for some reason I didn't mind that. I think going into this book expecting a fairytale retelling and setting, it changed my expectations for the romance. I fell in love with Jest as quickly as Catherine did, so that definitely made a difference. He's so sweet and charismatic and mysterious, you just want to know more about him.

I loved Catherine as a character too, especially how much she loved baking and how to her, making sweets was her own kind of magic. I understood her situation way too well, and that's what made things so difficult when it came to reading this book. Her dream to open a bakery with her friend Mary Ann reminded me of my secret dreams and my fear of telling my parents. The scene where she finally tells them had me screaming at her to not do, but I also understood the hope she felt that maybe things would work out.

Now Catherine's parents and the whole courtship and marriage is another thing I want to talk about. And I'll be honest, since no one really reads my reviews lol. I noticed a lot of similarities between Catherine's parents and her situation and my own. Catherine's dad is similar to my dad – he stays out of the marriage business and leaves it to my mom, until he needs to step in. And my mom is very much like Catherine's mom – she gets excited and happy whenever I get a proposal, she's super concerned about what people think about me, she's constantly telling me what to wear and how to speak and act, and she gets upset when I say i don't want to get married. I understood the pressure Catherine was going through. The need to make her parents proud. Knowing that nothing else you do will make them as happy as them seeing you married is so difficult. It makes you feel like that's the only worth you have to your parents. And yet they do this cause they want you to be happy. And while I understand that most parents want that, the thing I think the book did well is show that just because someone assumes they know what will make you happy, doesn't mean they do. And honestly, all it takes is for someone to ask and listen and try and understand. Peer-pressure sucks, and for Catherine it was awful. Everyone was expecting her to marry the King, and even the stupid King was making presumptions without considering her feelings. Her feelings didn't matter and I felt like I related to Catherine on a whole other level.

The very end of the book when her father says that if she doesn't want to do this, she doesn't have to, that all they want is for her to be happy...it made me so angry. And seeing Catherine's response had me nodding my head with agreement:

"How different everything could have been, if you had thought to ask me that before."

And this line is so true. It's better to ask before its too late. And honestly, I hated Catherine's parents for this, and yeah I kind of hope they regret what they did for the rest of their lives.

Catherine's change at the end was something I had been expecting the entire book, yet I was still hoping for the ending I wanted. I understood her anger towards Mary Ann, but I also understood Mary Ann's concern and how she tried to fix what she had done. But for Catherine, Jest wasn't just someone she loved, he was her chance at freedom. In a way, Jest is very similar to one of Hatta's hats. He gave her the ability to dream that she could make her own choices, fall in love, and be herself. And to have that taken away, I think it justified Catherine's anger and need for vengeance. And while really sad, it kind of shows how your actions can affect people, and how you should think twice before doing or saying something.

Overall, I'm rating this book a 4.5/5 stars, down a 0.5 cause lol this book made me depressed at times.

This was so beautiful and raw and relatable

I don't know what to say. Madeline Miller's books will one day be classics, and just like classics, I have trouble reviewing them because there's so much and nothing at all to talk about.

This book is an experience in itself. It's a story that is meant to be read and shared. And I can't say much about it, except everyone who reads it will end up feeling something different by the end.

Having a classics background honestly made me appreciate this book 1000x more than I would have if I went in not knowing anything. Madeline wove in the different myths and tragedies and plays and epics so seamlessly that we were left with a masterpiece of classical mythology. There were so many little things brought up that really made me think back to the Classical Mythology course I took in university. I remember focusing on the role of the hero in epics and plays, but also on the role of women in society and in myth. It's sad to think that not a lot has changed since then, and how much harder we need to work, so that when we become part of classical literature someday, we can look back and be proud of our past.

Circe's story is sad and heartbreaking, but she's such a strong, resilient character. There's always something pushing her down or working against her, but she perseveres in the end. It's honestly a important message for all of us.

(A big thanks to HgbCanada for sending me a review copy!)

I don’t know how to review this book. I feel like it should be required reading in school. I didn’t know anything about the German resistance against Hitler and this book talked about it a bit, but mostly focused on the wives of the resistors and what happened to them. It’s interesting seeing how Hitler managed to brainwash so many Germans with his rhetoric and ideals, and that even when the people realized what he was actually doing, they chose to ignore the truth because it was too hard to accept. It’s not a part of history that was talked about much in class, so I’m glad I read this book.

Marianne is a complex character who is strong and determined, yet has realistic faults. All the main women do in this book. I found myself relating to different aspects of each character and really thinking about how it applies to my life or how I would have reacted in their situation.

Overall, a very thought-provoking reading and highly recommend if you’re in the mood for historical fiction!

3.75/5 stars

I don't even know where to begin. This book definitely got me out of my reading slump and introduced me to a whole time period in history that I knew barely anything about! But I have so many conflicted feelings that it makes it hard to rate this properly.

This book falls under historical fiction, not fantasy. I knew that going in, but I wasn't expecting to fall in love with the plot so much. I haven't read a lot of historical fantasy in a while, so this was a very pleasant surprise. All I knew going in was that it took place during the Ottoman Empire, and all I knew about that period was some of the more famous pirates during the time (thanks to the pirates course I took last semester). After reading this book, I just wanted to devour everything to do with the Ottomans! I'm literally Jon Snow cause I know nothing about this period of history, and considering that it's an important part in the history of Islam, I should probably read up on this immediately!

I know for some people the little info dumps about the history, politics, and wars going on during this time period might have been boring, but I was literally entranced. I'm obsessed with anything to do with political intrigue. It's definitely something I'd write about if I ever wrote a book. So reading And I Darken felt like doing research, but in the most amazing way possible!

The story can definitely be a bit slow. And that's one of the reasons why I didn't rate this book a 4 stars. While it grabbed me from the start, everything started to slow down after a bit and I actually went a couple days without picking up the book. The thing with political intrigue is that it's something that needs a build up and it takes time and patience. And I Darken did well in that, but it did become a bit tedious waiting for something big to happen.

I wanted to dedicate a portion of this review to this book's portrayal of Islam. I actually didn't know how much of Islam would be mentioned in this book going in, so I was really surprised once Lada and Radu finally arrived in Edirne. I think Kiersten White did a really good job showing the contrasting feelings towards Islam (and the Ottoman Empire in general) through Lada and Radu. Being Muslim, some of the things Lada said kind of bothered me, but then I'm biased of course. But it was counterbalanced with Radu really well and his experience of Islam. Considering the time period, I think Kiersten White did well showing the varying opinions of different people within the Ottoman Empire. Obviously not everyone was happy, but some were. And Lada's reasons and hatred towards Islam and the Ottoman Empire were justifiable and made sense to me, just like Radu's feeling of peace and inclusion within the religion of Islam also resonated with me.

Radu's faith though really hit a spot in my cold heart. His belief and trust in God, his connection with God through prayer, really made me envy him. It definitely made me think about my relationship with God and I love when books make you ponder about your own life. One of my favourite characters has to be Kumal. His devotion, loyalty, and faith made me wish he was my mentor irl. I want to see more of him in the second book hopefully!

The reason this book didn't get a higher rating (besides being a bit slow) was mostly because of the characters. I've realized that I'm the kind of reader who prefers characters who are mostly good. I love a good villain too, as long as he/she is 90% bad and 10% somewhat redeemable. The problem with And I Darken was that there wasn't a clear contrast between the good and the bad. And I guess that was what Kiersten White was trying to get at: that some people go to whatever lengths in order to succeed or have their way, and sometimes they cross that line and do things that are terrible.

Lada annoyed me. I honestly couldn't decide what to think of her. I started off hating her, then I was like "oh wait, she isn't all that bad", but then she would do something horrible and I'd hate her again, and it just bugged me throughout the book. I think she's an excellent and very unique character (she did give me a lot of Jorg of Ancrath vibes), but she's also a frustrating character to love. She does so many horrible things to Radu, that I honestly don't think I could ever really like her. I know she means well and wants to protect him, but reading the parts where Radu would cringe and wait for her to punch him made me sick to the stomach. It's abuse at the worst level and I'm not sure if I even like their "brother-sister" relationship. I understand the importance of family and blood, but it just made me uncomfortable.

What I did love about Lada was her constant struggle straddling the world of men and the world of women. She didn't feel like she belonged in either one and she had a hard time accepting women and their role in society (or what they chose as their role in society). I loved how strong and intelligent she was. She could stand up for herself, and yet she was smart when it came towards battle tactics and strategy. She gave me a lot of Tamora Pierce vibes (but then again I'm obsessed, so I might be the only one). But she definitely felt like Alanna or Kel, as they both struggled to make a place for themselves in a world where women don't exactly play more prominent roles in the military or government.

Radu was a character that I pretty much pitied for the whole book. While I admired his faith, his story is just sad. From the way he was treated by his father, Mircea, Lada, and Bogdan, to everything else that happened...it was kind of depressing. It honestly made me not like Lada even more, and since she narrates 50% of the book, that made it a bit difficult to like the book overall. Radu grew up in an environment where he could never use his skills to his advantage because he was overlooked and ignored. Seeing him make a place besides Mehmed as a spy was just heartbreakingly beautiful. I loved every second of it and it made me so happy. But seeing Lada shocked at what Radu could do and feeling jealous because he was good at something she wasn't made me mad...though I guess that's really Lada acting in character.

Mehmed was a really interesting character. His constant struggle between doing what was expected of him and what he wanted felt realistic to what anyone his age would experience if they were suddenly thrust onto a throne.

Spoiler

I really did like his relationship with Lada. It wasn't instalove, or maybe it was for him, but it did take Lada time to come around. Though I'm not sure if it would have ended well, like Lada pointed out near the end. I think Mehmed's love for Lada would end up keeping her more of a prisoner than she already was. It was hard seeing her come to understand that, but it's the truth. I'm not sure what else to say about Mehmed. He's a hard character to figure out. He had only eyes for Lada, and like Lada said, I don't think he'd ever see Radu in the way Radu sees Mehmed. I read in another review that Radu deserves better, and I honestly think he does.

The end definitely left quite a few questions unanswered, but it makes me excited to pick up the next book at some point!

Spoiler

I really have an iffy feeling about Bogdan, and I really want to know how Halil Pasha played a role in the huge Janissary revolt/murder plot.

I don't want to say too much since this is a sequel, but I honestly don't know how I feel about this book or this series. The plot itself is unique and interesting. I like the politics and war and the social issues that are addressed. But I'm not a fan of the main character. She's a very complex and flawed person, but it makes it difficult to like her, especially because of the decisions she makes. There's also so many things that happen in this book that need trigger warnings. Some of the stuff is really graphic and disturbing and could be difficult to read for many people. Also, I'm still confused about this magic system and how it works. Like it doesn't make much sense, but I kind of just go with it and hope things will be explained in book three? This is one of those cases where I'm reading the next book for the plot, but not so much the characters.

3.5/5 stars

This was cute, but I will admit that reading this now compared to when I did the first time, I’m not as smitten with any of the love interests. Like I get it, but I’m also like they both have issues, so she should just stay single honestly. Lol me and my unromantic self