okay this book was something.

I was not expecting something so dark and graphic, but this book does not hold back. If you're looking for dark fantasy, you're in the right spot.

Ren is also not your typical heroine. She starts off likeable and relatable, and then somewhat gradually changes as the darkness and Death consumes her. And I'm not sure if I liked it?

Her relationship with her brother Neven was what made me really like the book from the onset, but then everything sort of changed. Neven does not understand what Ren feels–how lonely it must be to not belong in England, but also not belong in Japan. I think a lot of us who are immigrants can relate to that feeling so well, but at the same time she treats Neven terribly, and it's really quite a mess. I don't think Ren is meant to be likeable. She admits she's selfish and a horrible person, and I understand her motivations, but I think what really put me off was the romance that seemed to come between her and her brother.

Hiro started off great, but the second Ren started to notice his pulse and his eyes and kept getting drawn to him...I started to get uncomfortable, which is just me when it comes to romance. Neven's warnings about Hiro and how they shouldn't trust him did make the ending kind of predictable, but it did annoy me how infatuated Ren became with Hiro and how she picked him over her brother who she had dragged across the country. She is really selfish and throughout the book she even agrees and says she only brought Neven along so she wouldn't be alone. She doesn't think about anyone else until it's too late.

I feel like by the end of the book, Ren sort of lost her agency because of her infatuation with Hiro. The whole marriage thing happened so fast, and she just said yes right away without thinking about it at all. It really made me like her even less.

Overall, I just don't know how I feel about this book. I guess if you're looking for a book with a character who is selfish, murderous, and kind of evil, then this might be for you? I honestly don't read a lot of books with characters like Ren, so this is probably why I wasn't as huge of a fan. And despite sort of understanding some of Ren's motivations and reasons for doing what she did, it just went a bit too far for her to remain likeable enough.