Damn. I'm not a mother but Jesus f Christ. This book wrecked me, had me sobbing at the bond of mother and child. I saw this book compared to the Handmaid's Tale, and the panopticon vibes were there for sure. This was more sad than infuriating. I can't remember crying that hard at a book. I didn't like the ending but if it ended 50 pages earlier, it'd be 5 stars. Frida fails out of school, rejects a life with a promising bad father, Tucker, who ultimately regains custody of his son, and is forced to sign away parental rights. She gets 30min to say goodbye to her daughter. This was traumatic and turned me inside out. There was never a chance, the school didn't ever want her to get custody back. Trauma galore. The end, for me. But the author continues.

I didn't think Frida would find Tucker (he was her tangible hope, in school, not deserved in her real life) but I also didn't think expect her to kidnap her daughter. The end was a blaze of glory, factually speeding away to a fantasy life that will end in real horror; solitary confinement, back at the school, an ending she considered and welcomes in exchange for a proper goodbye. Frida says, 'the school would be proud of [her]', moving so quickly to abscond with Harriet. It's funny because her behavior was unacceptable, stealing a child against the court's judgment. But it's true, they would be proud because the whole point of the school is to do anything for your child and put them first. So if the mother loses custody, what's left for the mother? Nothing. Suicide. Kidnapping. By any means necessary. That maternal identity is all Frida had, all that was cultivated in her time at the school. Frida becomes obsessed with drinking, numbing, dying.

An emergency brings Harriet to a mutual friend's house. Frida begs to see her. She plans to kidnap her. Frida doesn't just blow up her own life. It sucks for the maternal grandparents, the worst, because they don't have other kids or grandkids. They were looking forward to seeing Frida and now they'll lose contact with her, as well as the court order to revoke any contact with Harriet. Frida says they'll be 85 when Harriet's 18. I didn't feel bad for Harriet's dad losing his daughter to Frida kidnapping because he knows Frida isn't a bad mom. I didn't feel bad for his partner either, she has a new son. I never felt anything for Will, he was a haint of a character.

I didn't get the attachment to the doll, and how Frida takes the photo of her end her doll and wants to give it to...who? The lawyer friend, as proof how fucked up school is? To show the ex husband and stepmother, as justification for kidnapping? For the school, to show she was actually bonded with her doll? Or, bizarrely, to her daughter, as proof of her "sister"‽ I didn't get that at all. That's it, that's the book, that's the last few paragraphs...2 photos, one for Harriet of their court-supervised goodbye and the other of Frida and her doll on their goodbye day.