The book is the view of two lives in contemporary Gay America. Oscar is angry and bitter over the cultural changes in the Gay community and the (finally) legal ability to marry. Sebastian is a teacher who spent his childhood closeted and has this sadness about a lifetime lost being unable to live as his true self.
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This was a great debut. Oscar and Sebastian lives connect briefly in childhood and the book examines how differently their lives become. Both men have experienced different forms of trauma which have also shaped them. While they don’t overlap as much as I thought they would I loved the mirroring between the two men. Both longing for connection, both obsessing over someone who’s experience being gay is outside of their own time, both men having unhealthy habits. They both did things that made me very uncomfortable , but I don’t feel they were unrealistic. The book can definitely open up A LOT of conversations on acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. I also feel it’s important to say that it is a really interesting look at the implications of preventing people from being their true selves. It was interesting to see how the desire for a freer experience and the jealousy over a freer experience can affect these men.
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I struggled a bit because I found both men unlikeable as characters. I would begin to feel better about the characters and then they would do something and I would slide back into the cringe zone.
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A few TW for suicide (not on page), unhealthy habits such as drug and alcohol use, fantasizing over a minor, detailed descriptions of sex and oral sex.