Reread 9/12/2019

I don't know how to put my feelings for this book into words. It's so beautifully stunning, but that description doesn't do it justice. It's a raw, emotional, and painful story. I remembered this being amazing and expected to give it another 5 stars, but I'd forgotten just how amazing. This is one of my favorite books of all time and one I will be rereading again and again.

Often in sad books, I see the manipulations of the writer. This character is lovely and nice and caring, so when they die you the reader feel pain. And I do feel the pain. Those books make me cry, but at the same time, because I can see how I'm being manipulated, there's always a bit of fraudulence in that sadness. This book creates none of that. It's just sad and real. Marin's pain is so raw, but never melodramatic. She's just a girl in pain and the pain I experience reading this book is so similar to having that pain in a close friend's life.

This is a one sitting read for me. I can't imagine wanting to put this book down at any point, or even being able to. The only break I took was when I was crying so hard I needed to wash my face before I could continue. It's absorbing and entrancing in every way. When I first read it two years ago, it was a one sitting read then as well.

I adore the writing. Even if the story hadn't been good (it was amazing), the writing alone is enough to carry this book. It's lyrical and lovely. LaCour takes the rawest of pain and gives it to the reader with her words. Sometimes I didn't even want there to be a story because I was so caught up in her prose.

But I do so love the story. Marin's history with her grandfather is heartbreaking, and her feelings toward Mabel so full of regret but also acceptance. It's so nice to read a story about a romantic relationship that's over where the two people involved still have a future, albeit a different one that they originally wanted. The emotions are complex and painful. Marin's grief mixes with her love, and fear with regret, and hope with loneliness. There's nothing simple in this book, but also no melodrama. Just a young girl surviving.

I'd highly recommend this book. It's amazing in every way, shape, and form. Nina LaCour is a stunning writer. I don't think it's possible for me to overstate how much I love this book.

~*~

I thought this was a beautiful book in every way. The writing itself was lovely and almost poetic. The characters were so well crafted and felt real, even the ones who weren't major characters. The story itself was slow paced and character driven, but I was so invested in the characters I couldn't put it down. I absolutely adored this.