Where do I even begin.

Memories of Ash concludes with Hitomi escaping from the clutches of the High Council of Mages (right under Blackflame's nose), finding Huda, and setting off towards the Burnt Lands, prepared to honour her debt to the phoenix. Her magic bound and danger closely following, Hitomi has to navigate this new reality, learn to trust and accept help from her friends, and follow her unyielding sense of justice to make things right in the Burnt Lands.

Like I've said a hundred times, I love Hitomi and see so much of myself in her. And this book was no different. If anything, we really get to see a deeper, more vulnerable side of our main character as she confronts feelings she's been trying to bury over the last year. 

There's just so much good character development in this book. From Hitomi realizing she's using the people around her and putting them in danger by not sharing her secrets, to realizing she's taking choices away from her friends in order to keep them safe, to experiencing this betrayal herself, to learning to accept and trust and love and create her own version of a found family. All while still staying true to herself and her inability to accept "no" as an answer. (Honestly love this so much about her). She finds creative ways to get out of situations, realizing sometimes she has to make tough decisions that go against her morals. But I think what I loved the most was the relationships she develops in this book and how she comes to realize that she is just as worthy of love and life as anyone else.

Like damn Hitomi, why are you attacking me this way 😭 I also don't know how to live the life I have come to accept is mine. And I understand so well how lonely Hitomi feels, and how careful she is around people who care about her because she's afraid she will lose them or they will betray her.

When she comes to the realization that her mother abandoning her wasn't because of anything she did, but because her mother chose it, she breaks down in tears. "I was not some terrible, flawed creature, that my mother could not love me." She feels this grief and begins to accept that she can still allow other people to love and care for her.

There's a moment at the end of the book where Hitomi is asked what she wants to do next/how she wants to live, and she doesn't fully know how to answer that question because she's never had to think about what she wants in life. She's always put other people first, and I don't see that changing for Hitomi, but I think this journey she's been on has made her realize to set some space for herself too.

I swear this book taught me more about myself than a 60 minute therapy session.

Debts of Fire expands the world a bit more from the previous book. And I loved how the slower parts of the book were interspersed with more intense, fast-paced scenes. We also get to see Hitomi adapt and learn to use her magic despite being bound. My only complaint for this book would be that the way the magic-working was described was a bit hard to follow at times. And I think that's just because I'm a very visual reader and literally imagine everything that is happening inside my head like a movie. So when I have trouble picturing what's happening (especially when trying to break down the draining spells), I did feel a little frustrated because I felt like I could not fully understand/immerse myself in the book. It's not confusing to the point where you have no idea what's happening, but I'm just the kind of person who wants all the details. I will say, the finale gave me major Circle of Magic vibes, which made me very excited.

I'm going to conclude by talking about hugs because Hitomi hugs so many people in this book and it made me want to cry every time it happened. Her special bond with Val is probably my favourite, closely followed by the phoenix and Kerbanu. And I cannot wait to see what happens in the conclusion to this series. I'm hoping for more reunions and hugs especially.

Going to leave you all with a final quote that I think is very applicable to the current state of world affairs.

And sometimes the rules are plain wrong and it's okay to commit crimes!!

4.5/5 stars

Eagerly awaiting my physical copy!!!