I definitely struggled with my star rating for this one. So much of the book was amazing, but the few things that annoyed me annoyed me SO MUCH. Let’s start with the negatives: 

1. I find it incredibly difficult to believe that so many people avoided or thought negatively about Clover because of her job. It wouldn’t even cross my mind to cut someone off for having such a good natured, impactful job - bankers, corporate workers etc. yes, death doula, no. It’s like not wanting to interact with someone because they're a therapist. And helping someone in their last moments of life is way less 'problematic' than something like a coroner or morgue worker. 

Yet throughout the book, people react as if Clover is weird for being comfortable talking about death. I’m sorry, what? Not a single person I know would think it’s weird for someone to be emotionally intelligent and mature enough to sensibly discuss death. 

And it’s not even framed as if Clover is reading these situations incorrectly - people are just straight up arsey to her about it. So maybe she sounds a little preachy and hypocritical when she talks about her work, but enough for so many negative reactions from everyone she has ever met in her life?? 

Majorly unbelievable. 

2. The concert scene pissed me right off. No even vaguely competent classical musician 'counts themself in' before they start playing, let alone when PERFORMING. And Bach's Cello Suites are UNACCOMPANIED SOLO pieces, so why the fuck did the other three 'join in' with Suite 1??!! And they wouldn’t be TAPPING THEIR FEET. 
Clearly Brammer knows absolutely nothing about classical music, so you’d think a little research might have been a good idea. 

3. I really disliked that one of the main physical features pointed out between Sebastian and Hugo is that Hugo is really tall whereas Sebastian is only around Clover's height. It completely plays into all of the stereotypes of shorter men, and means this book gets added to the list of books I’ve read where tall man = the best possible outcome. 

For reference, not one single book in my 27 years of life has included a f/m relationship where the man is shorter. Its actual bullshit. 

So, to be fair to Brammer, this is definitely a societal problem, not the sole fault of Brammer. But seeing a different take would be nice once in a while - short guys also deserve happiness. 
 
Despite these annoyances, I still found this book incredibly impactful. The accuracy of rejection sensitivity disorder is completely wild, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it portrayed so well in media. Reading this was like seeing myself at my worst, so it was definitely a challenging read at times. 

Other reservations I had while reading were clearly Brammer’s intention, as they were resolved later in the narrative.

I’m so glad Sebastian didn’t end up being end game for Clover, he was such a total prick, and I was worried for a while that they’d end up together. And I’m also incredibly glad that old Hugo was already dead. If they’d found him still living I think it would have lessened the impact of the story, so I’m glad that didn’t happen.

 
 
The book put into words so many of the thoughts I have running around in my head, yet still struggle to do anything about. Hopefully this will kindle something inside me and I’ll be able to be a little more reckless. 

I don’t normally pick out quotes I want to remember from books, but I’m going to leave these ones here for future me: 

 

 A truly beautiful read. I just wish I didn’t find the annoying points as enraging as I did.