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rubeusbeaky 's review for:
The Fearless Travelers' Guide to Wicked Places
by Pete Begler
DNF at 100 pages (1/3). I'm sure it gets better, but I'm just not interested. Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland, or Coraline, already did it better. The characters in this book are flat, each IDed by a single quirk, barely believable. But worse than unsympathetic characterization, the book is just written really awkwardly. I know the randomness of the plot is trying to project dreamlike nonsense with its sudden, bizarre developments. But the literal writing is not atmospheric, it's just hilariously bad. Here are two examples:
1) "[He] pulled out a small book. The cover was made of soft, tough leather, like the reigns of a horse that had been ridden for years through rushing streams, over snowcapped mountains, and burnished in the flames of battle."
.... That line again: The book cover looked like it belonged to a horse who has seen some $#17. XD WHAT?!
2) "'Those are not bags. Those are bats. Thousands of bats.' In a few minutes, Nell would have to climb between the sleeping bats to find a key. But, for some reason, worse than the bats was the sight of a large tangle of balloons in the tree's topmost branches. They were dirty with age, and shivering in the wind, and they filled Nell with a pinching sadness. They were so alone. Alone and abandoned."
... THAT LINE AGAIN: Worse than climbing through a colony of bats: Lonely balloons.... WHAT?!?!?! XD XD XD Nope, sorry, as someone who has had bats get in her house before AND as someone who has bought birthday balloons that have gone sad and half-mast after a month, I can promise you that being surrounded by bats is WAY worse XD.
I'm sure the book gets better once the kids cross over to nightmareland, it is a very very spooky book. I just don't care. I can find better written, more compelling, spooky books to fill my time. Also, in the end, I'm always looking for a book to have meaning, for the fantasy to tell us a universal truth. What is this book trying to say? Nightmares are scary? Moms are great? No duh. This book doesn't resonate with any big feelings I have. It's just... creepy and random, and occasionally, unintentionally, hilarious. XD
Thank you, next.
1) "[He] pulled out a small book. The cover was made of soft, tough leather, like the reigns of a horse that had been ridden for years through rushing streams, over snowcapped mountains, and burnished in the flames of battle."
.... That line again: The book cover looked like it belonged to a horse who has seen some $#17. XD WHAT?!
2) "'Those are not bags. Those are bats. Thousands of bats.' In a few minutes, Nell would have to climb between the sleeping bats to find a key. But, for some reason, worse than the bats was the sight of a large tangle of balloons in the tree's topmost branches. They were dirty with age, and shivering in the wind, and they filled Nell with a pinching sadness. They were so alone. Alone and abandoned."
... THAT LINE AGAIN: Worse than climbing through a colony of bats: Lonely balloons.... WHAT?!?!?! XD XD XD Nope, sorry, as someone who has had bats get in her house before AND as someone who has bought birthday balloons that have gone sad and half-mast after a month, I can promise you that being surrounded by bats is WAY worse XD.
I'm sure the book gets better once the kids cross over to nightmareland, it is a very very spooky book. I just don't care. I can find better written, more compelling, spooky books to fill my time. Also, in the end, I'm always looking for a book to have meaning, for the fantasy to tell us a universal truth. What is this book trying to say? Nightmares are scary? Moms are great? No duh. This book doesn't resonate with any big feelings I have. It's just... creepy and random, and occasionally, unintentionally, hilarious. XD
Thank you, next.