*4.5

This is my 3rd Tessa Dare book, and by far my favorite. This book was hilarious, the characters were so good, the writing was on point, and the steamy scenes were vera vera vera good. Like, Tessa Dare's steamy scenes were pretty ehh, for the last two books I've read by her. This one was like almost top tier. Now, I'm going to grace you with my favorite quotes:


“My dear imaginary Captain MacKenzie, you are not real and never will be. I, however, am a true and eternal fool."

Here, have a drawing of a snail.”



“She laid a row of cushions down the center of the bed, carefully dividing it into two sides....
"I dinna know how this strategy escaped Napoleon's notice. If only he'd erect a barricade of feathers and fabric, we Highlanders wouldna have known how to get over it.”



“Here I am, struggling to banish any foolish imagined affections for you so that I can consummate this marriage of convenience in a proper businesslike fashion, as we agreed. And then you go and read a book?"
While he was at it, why didn't he just bring her a basket of kittens, a bottle of champagne, and pose naked with a rose caught between his teeth?”


“What's the worst thing you've ever done?"
He pushed his hands through his hair. "I'm beginning to think it was marrying you.”


Maddie squirmed out from under him. “I’m sorry. So sorry. I know this is supposed to be physical. Impersonal. It’s only that I keep thinking of lobsters.”He flipped onto his back and lay there, blinking up at the ceiling. “Until just now, I would have said there was nothing remaining that could surprise me in bed. I was wrong.”