read this for the first time in 2017, and liked it, but didn’t relate to it at all. i wasn’t yet on church staff, didn’t know what it was like to be in ministry, didn’t know the grief of leaving it. 

now, reading it again, after leaving my church, i am so grateful for these words. those three stars turned to five. i get it now. 

the joy, the hurt, the tension, the uncertainty, the grounding of nature, the draw to higher education, even. i get the need to find new spaces, to cut ties, to find different paths forward, to disconnect from church but find Church all the same. 

a gift. glad it found me again when i needed it. 

///


After LOVING Learning to Walk in the Dark from BBT and hearing her speak (still one of the coolest experiences of my life), I thought I would just adore anything and everything she wrote, but this one didn't quite do it for me. It's an interesting memoir about her coming into leadership as a priest in her church and then leaving to become a college professor instead, and there are great thoughts about community and putting down roots and such, but it wasn't as rich or as moving as I was expecting. Granted, this is a very different kind of book than what I've read from her, and as far as memoirs go, it was a good one... I just didn't connect as deeply (nor do I think she intended for the reader to). If church leadership interests you, or you're curious about BBT's story as a priest and beyond, definitely grab this one!