I went into this book thinking it was a memoir (definitely my bad, I should have done more research) and I think that shaped some of my expectations and disappointments.

For starters, it felt like Black wasn't overly interested in this book. He may have been incredibly excited for it, I don't know, but it felt like he didn't offer enough personal insights. Like he was giving Saslow the bare minimum needed to write this book. I wanted to be more in his head. I wanted to know his thoughts. We got a little of that, but it felt mostly based on his actions and public statements at the time rather than his inner turmoil. Which again, I expected a memoir initially so perhaps this aspect would always have disappointed me.

I also thought this book would be more focused on his current life/growth/antiracist activism, but it took a very long time to get there. I get that Saslow was setting the scene and showing his slow progress, but it was hard when 80% through the book he was still hanging out with David Duke as bros and insisting that he's a white nationalist, not a white supremacist. There was a little while where I genuinely thought he was just going to become less racist rather than have a true change of character. But thankfully that wasn't a case. I wished more of the book was set after and we got more of his mindset post becoming an antiracist. I cared a lot less about all his specific racist views and podcasts than I did what happened after, and it just seemed like the book was much more concerned with the former.

All in all, good for Derek Black for changing. It's really hard when you've grown up in a family like that and been completely homeschooled and brainwashed. I hope he leads a long life of being an antiracist activist. But the book itself was kind of mediocre. I have a number of nonfiction books on my audiobook tbr about white supremacy and racism, and listening to this kind of made me wish I'd picked a different, more worthwhile one.