5.0

“Being seen racially is a common trigger of white fragility… to build our stamina, white people must face the first challenge: naming our race.”⁣

I’m Brian and I’m a white man. It felt really weird the first time I said that. It made me realize how I’ve never had to identify as a race in my life prior.⁣

“Whiteness rests upon a foundational premise: the definition of whites as the norm or standard for human, and people of color as deviation from that norm. Whiteness is not acknowledged by white people, and the white reference point is assumed to be universal and is imposed on everyone. White people find it very difficult to think about whiteness as a specific state of being that could have an impact on one’s life and perceptions.”⁣

I saw DiAngelo speak in early 2018, along with others like Ijeoma Oluo, who wrote So You Want to Talk About Race (highly recommend!). Since then, I’ve been contemplating how my white racial lens affects the way I interact with people of color and other white people. I think back to past conversations and actions that make me cringe, but it helps me to reflect on where I went wrong and how I might do things differently now.⁣

DiAngelo defines terms in a straightforward way, along with examples that helped me understand them. She helped me see how we feel when something we say/do is challenged as racist: attacked, shamed, guilty, accused, judged, angry, scared. And our behavior: crying, denying, physically leaving, focusing on our intentions over the impact/hurt it caused, arguing, seeking absolution. None of these leads us to critically examine ourselves, and thus we maintain our own white comfort and perpetuate the status quo discomfort of people of color.⁣

I’m committing myself to her steps for receiving feedback, and changing my behavior: “1. How, where and when you give me feedback is irrelevant–it is the feedback I want and need…From my position of…white power and privilege, I am perfectly safe and I can handle it. If I cannot handle it, it’s on me to build my racial stamina. 2. Thank you.”⁣

PoC, I welcome your feedback, on your terms, if and when you have the energy to give it.

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