I read this purely because the cover is so awful that it made me literally snort tea out of my nose, but you know what? This book has everything. Ravishing, sand, Don Quixote quotes, brine, women swooning at saucy tales of pirates, more sand, impeccably researched Naval history, one man's journey to finally getting his ear pierced, incredibly salacious scenes, yet more sand, devilishly attractive Quakers, and planks. I am absolutely here for this book. I unironically love it and stayed up until 1am to read it in one sitting. I can't wait to read it all over again and also gaze upon that fantastic, dreadful cover with my own two eyes once more.