Disclaimer: I received this book from Netgalley. Thanks! All opinions are my own.

Book Series: Standalone

Rating: 3/5

Publication Date: September 26, 2017

Genre: Contemporary

Recommended Age: 17+ (self hate, abuse, victim blaming, and finding yourself)

Publisher: Simon Pulse

Pages: 353

Amazon Link

Synopsis: A half-Japanese teen grapples with social anxiety and her narcissist mother in the wake of a crushing rejection from art school in this debut novel.

Kiko Himura has always had a hard time saying exactly what she’s thinking. With a mother who makes her feel unremarkable and a half-Japanese heritage she doesn’t quite understand, Kiko prefers to keep her head down, certain that once she makes it into her dream art school, Prism, her real life will begin.

But then Kiko doesn’t get into Prism, at the same time her abusive uncle moves back in with her family. So when she receives an invitation from her childhood friend to leave her small town and tour art schools on the west coast, Kiko jumps at the opportunity in spite of the anxieties and fears that attempt to hold her back. And now that she is finally free to be her own person outside the constricting walls of her home life, Kiko learns life-changing truths about herself, her past, and how to be brave.

From debut author Akemi Dawn Bowman comes a luminous, heartbreaking story of identity, family, and the beauty that emerges when we embrace our true selves.

A William C. Morris Award Finalist; A New York Public Library Best Book for Teens of 2017; A Junior Library Guild Selection

Review: For the most part I really liked this book. I enjoyed the art connections and the writing was amazing. I loved the dualness presented between the “what I want to say” and the “what I actually said”. The character development is good and the story, the setting, and the writing is so vivid that it bounces off screen. I feel that the book does good at describing the more intense scenes in a brutal, honest fashion too. The book is also diverse and I love how the main character tries to learn more about her Japanese side and the traditions and culture.

However, I thought there were some very unsettling things in this book. There was a passage in the book where the main character is victim blaming herself, which I feel can give a very bad impression to.. .well anyone. Victim blaming shouldn’t even be a thing, but unfortunately it is and I don’t like seeing it in books, especially ones where I feel younger audiences can get the wrong impression. The main characters development feels very dependent on the romance of the book and the mother’s development is sorely lacking. But generally I feel that this book is and can be very triggering to people who have experienced or are experiencing abuse. I had a hard time reading the book personally.

Verdict: It’s a hard read, but it could be worth it to someone.