I had a lot of trouble with this book. The first thing I struggled with was the description. The description makes it sound like it's about growing up gay in the deep south in the 60s (Clark was born in '53). And like, yes technically she is growing up gay in the 60s, but the book isn't really about that. It's about her dysfunctional, abusive parents, full stop. And she happens to be gay. Everyone she talks about in the book is actually surprisingly supportive of her (or she glosses over most of the issues because the book isn't about that).

A lot of this book is also about racism. She makes liberal use of the n word. Like, so much. Perhaps this was more noticeable listening to the audiobook, but it felt constant. I was actually listening to it with another person present at one point and they requested I turn it off for that reason. I understand that she's from Mississippi in the 50s and she was using the language she heard to illustrate the racism, but it felt excessive. It didn't add anything to the story, especially with the frequency. Like maybe it would have worked better if it had only been a few times and maybe it was worse because I was listening to the audiobook, but all I heard for half this book was a white woman repeatedly saying the n word.

It also felt like she did a lot of things in her youth that caused harm to the black people in her life and while she acknowledged that, it didn't feel like she acknowledged it enough. At one point the KKK was collecting money (in Mississippi, in the late 60s, potentially very early 70s) and she bullies her black nanny's daughter into going with her to confront them. She acknowledges she shouldn't have done that and it was dangerous for the girl, but I don't think she really gave that situation the gravity it deserved. Like she could have been lynched. Literally. I'm genuinely surprised nothing bad did happen to her. I don't feel like Clark truly acknowledged the gravity of that situation. That was the worst example, but there were others too. Like making her nanny go to a whites only diner immediately after segregation was outlawed.

I also feel like her narration of the audiobook was a little overwrought at times. There was a level of shouting or saying things in a tearful, desperate way that just felt over the top. I wasn't the biggest fan. I know she was trying to convey emotion, but it sounded very soap opera-y.

But I think it was fine overall. It was interesting to learn what it was like for her growing up so wealthy in Mississippi, especially with two toxic parents who basically ruined her childhood. It was also sad. I teared up a few times, which I always enjoy in a book. But I dunno, I'm not sure how much I'd recommend this unless you're specifically want to read about toxic parents.


Note: I listened to the audiobook and my reading comprehension is always much lower on audiobooks, so my thoughts are less complete and detailed than usual.