content warnings:

Spoiler

precanon parent deaths, depressive episodes, discussions of suicidal ideation, self-harm (picking at fingers, punching wall), chronic illness, underage drinking, consensual drunk/tipsy sex, being outed, homophobic slurs, biphobia, bi erasure, ableism & ableist language, racism & microaggressions, mention of past unwanted teen pregnancy, mention of past abortion, sexual harassment

rep:

Spoiler

bi/questioning Black Jewish MC [Suzette], Jewish major character with bipolar disorder [Lionel], biracial Black-Korean-American LI with Meniere's disease - hearing loss [Emil], pansexual Latina LI [Rafaela], lesbian best friend [Dee], Black secondary character [Nadine, Suzette's mom], Jewish secondary character [Saul, Lionel's dad], past major F/F relationship, secondary F/F relationship, diverse minor characters

★ 2.5 stars ★

Generally I'm in favor of diverse YA; this is one of the ones where the diversity is a focus (figuring out sexuality, dealing with racism) which has its place but tends to be a harder sell for me. Of course, this will likely resonate with some readers, which is great — just not for me.

I can't personally speak to the Black or Jewish or specifically bipolar rep, but I was not a big fan of the way bisexuality/pansexuality and mental illness were portrayed. With the usual disclaimer that everyone's experience is different but valid, I felt that this narrative played into far too many uncomfortable stereotypes:

Spoiler

the love triangle(s) involving both the bi and the pan girls (and the bi character's brother), the bi character borderline emotionally-cheating through lying by omission to both the male and female love interests, Suzette appointing herself her older brother's keeper because she doesn't trust Lionel to make his own decisions re: treatment, Lionel being shown as a danger to himself who abruptly and recklessly goes off his meds and essentially becomes a different person, Lionel generally being shown as an emotional burden to his family, Lionel saying that "being around" Rafaela is better/more effective than being on meds, classic racist & queerphobic microaggressions from basically all the characters, and honestly more that I just don't want to keep listing

.

The end result: a lot of people get hurt while selfish decisions are made. Sure, making mistakes and focusing on yourself are part of the Teen Experience, but I didn't feel like the main cast really learned from their experiences or acknowledged (let alone made amends) for a lot of the things they do. (Except

Spoiler

Suzette's determination to make things right with Iris

, but that's just one relationship of many.) Which is hypocritical since antagonists are held very accountable for their words/actions.

Basically there are two main storylines — Suzette's sexuality and Lionel's mental illness — and I didn't find either particularly compelling. Part of it is the aforementioned arguably-harmful tropes; part of it is that a lot of the plot feels more reactive than active, almost like the characters are constantly playing catch-up with their own lives if that makes sense? There's more internal conflict (that doesn't really lead anywhere) than tangible plot.

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CONVERSION: 6.67 / 15 = 2.5 stars

Prose: 5 / 10
Characters & Relationships: 4 / 10
Emotional Impact: 3 / 10
Development / Flow: 5 / 10
Setting: 8 / 10

Diversity & Social Themes: 2 / 5
Originality / Trope Execution: 1 / 5
Memorability: 2 / 5