Once I started the audiobook for this I couldn’t stop, there was something almost dream like about the narration, like someone was narrating this to you as you fell in and out of consciousness. And that works really well with the story which is about memory. My favourite part was when they were at Halesham, the possibilities of where the story could go were endless. By the 42% part I started to unfortunately lose focus on the story. I think because the cottage scenes did not intrigue me at all.
I did like the core 3 and reading about their toxic dynamic, the depiction of the toxic friendship between Ruth and Kathy was my favourite part, and I felt that it and Kathy as a character and her position in that friendship were very relatable.
I did enjoy the sit down and discuss all scene Tommy and Kathy had with Ms Emily and Madame, but I feel like rather than feeling like it was so cruel to create a school where the replicas are sheltered and given opportunities and hope only for it to be crushed, I felt like there never seemed to be any hope from the beginning, From the beginning of the story it never felt like there would be any hope for the characters and their fates because the focus was mainly on the dynamic of the core 3 and because the characters themselves didn’t really change (bar Ruth’s ‘be happy together, forgive me’ thing at the end) so it didn’t feel like their outcomes would.

It felt like something was missing as it always does when you try to fully recall a memory.

Feb 2025 update: Looking back, I think this book is a very good book to analyze and important to read since it’s themes on autonomy and the education system are very interesting. In particular, I’d love to have discussions about what the point of the education system was for the characters at Halesham, did it provide hope and was it fair too if it meant they had to face a world of hopelessness after? Or did that education keep giving them hope in a hopeless world? I also think it mirrors the situation of people the educations system and other agents of socialization will clearly fail, and asks us to think what is the point of giving children who are almost certain to never reach their full potential/to fail a bubble of hope in education? I’m thinking about the myth of meritocracy as an example. Or is it something to keep them occupied, because if the truth was told, then the characters in the book and people would have more time to reckon with their social position, time to challenge and change it.

Despite all that yap, I still think my reading experience of the book was not amazing but the discussions and analysis you can create from the book are.