4.5 stars

CW: car accident, death, grief, anxiety

Last year I read and loved Noteworthy, so I was really excited for this novel. It didn’t disappoint.

It’s very character-driven, but the characters were so three-dimensional and in touch with themselves that I didn’t mind. The protagonist Laila is a pansexual, Ecuadorian, fat girl with anxiety. Her friend Hannah is a Korean lesbian. Throughout the story, there are passages that discuss the nuance of Laila’s identities and how they overlap, as well as how she feels about them alongside everything else in her life. As I don’t share any of her identities, I’ll leave it at that.

I loved the incredible slow-burn Laila and Hannah had. It wasn’t even really hinted at until around the halfway point, and by then I was rooting for them so hard. They were sweet and passionate and I loved it. Queer girls always steal my heart.

Let’s not forget the iconic friend group: Laila, Hannah, Felix, and Leo. They marathoned their favorite show, made fun of one another in their group chat, planned trips to the mountains together. Friend goals.

I also loved the focus on writing. Although I wasn’t a big fan of Nazarenko, she did play a major part in Laila’s development as a writer. I don’t think I’ve ever read a book that emphasized writing and the terrifying thrill of sharing something personal, or the constant strive to improve. The snippets of Laila’s stories were a fun addition to the story.

However, this isn’t a fluffy read. The fact that it isn’t adds more depth, and gives more chances to really get to know the characters. An important side character gets hit by a car. There’s grief, death, and more grief. It wasn’t said outright but I do wonder if Laila also had a depressive spiral. This book does a good job of invoking emotion and expressing what it’s like to move past something so life-changing. It wasn’t the same situation as Laila’s, but at its core I could relate to it.

And honestly, this story is an ode to being a teenager: the looming idea of finally graduating, stepping out of your comfort zone, doing things you probably shouldn’t do, stressing about college and how it will affect the relationships you made in high school. It’s so realistic and relatable, as someone only a few months away from finishing high school.

All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed this novel. Riley is quickly becoming one of my favorite authors, and I can’t wait to read more from them. Or to shove this book at everyone. 😉