It’s probably a good thing that I don’t rate memoirs because I don’t know where I would land with this one… I went into More thinking I would learn about how a healthy open marriage works. Cool! Instead, it was a frustrating read with so many red flags (a grown-ass adult acquiescing to unprotected sex against her better judgment with a veritable stranger is so beyond the pale), and absolutely no self reflection: in one breath, the author praises the excellent communication she has with her husband, and in the next won’t tell him about her jealous feelings because she’s worried about ruining her marriage.
I also don’t think she read back through and reflected on this manuscript if she wanted to portray her husband in a good light. He comes off as the instigator of this arrangement when things begin with him encouraging her to go on a date with someone she met at a friend’s party, and he gets off on asking for her to describe her exploits - which she clearly finds uncomfortable!
Down the road when it doesn’t seem to work for her and she might want to close the marriage, the emphasis is on making the OPEN marriage work rather than trying to work through their issues and make a monogamous marriage work. Why this is never discussed as an option, I don’t understand.
All the while, she keeps trying to fix her anxiety with relationship after relationship of her own that never seems to end her jealousy or fears, and just ends in heartbreak for everyone involved. It was exhausting and frustrating to see this woman repeatedly beat her head against a wall.
Maybe some people need the injection of drama in their personal lives to feel fulfilled and alive. But I cannot see how it is healthy to have that kind of constant stress, nor have that chaos trickling down to your children. I’m sure there’s an open/polyamorous memoir out there showing how all parties involved make it work (also, apparently one must be wealthy enough to have money laying around for lots of weekend getaways and hotel rooms) but this was NOT it!