3.5 stars.

This is an incredibly introspective book, so I'm betting most people will either love or hate greatly dislike it. (Or, as in my case, experience a mix of both.) The themes are important: emotions peak with hormones during adolescence, making an already difficult experience even worse; I love the questioning/aroace rep, though

Spoiler

it doesn't seem like any kind of resolution is reached — I would've been perfectly happy with just a few lines where Rumi accepts that she doesn't have to have it figured out, but if it happens, I missed it

.

Grief and guilt are messy and complex; based on my very limited personal experience this does seem like a believable and reasonably relatable portrayal. However, I would've preferred to see more depth in the characters, rather than the cycle of self-loathing and lashing out that seems to make up the bulk of the plot. (Of course there's no "wrong" way to grieve and I have empathy for her loss, I do, but this made it difficult to connect with her, or any of the other characters.)

content warnings:

Spoiler

on-page car crash, loss of loved ones (younger sister), grief & survivor’s guilt, almost-drowning

rep:

Spoiler

single parent, code-switching, Japanese/Hawaiian/white & questioning/a-spec (aro/ace) MC, Japanese/Korean secondary character (love interest), Filipino/Samoan secondary character, Japanese/black secondary character, minor F/F relationship