samantha allen’s rant about how much she hates nyc and san francisco disguised as a road trip book about the queer south
im partially kidding, but it really does feel like that a lot of the time.
this book would be really good if
1: it didn’t dunk on coastal cities (and, indirectly, the queer people who move to or just live in those cities)
2: if it were less autobiographical (the parts where it really shone was where samantha allen talked to others and shared their stories, such as emmett from provo in one of the first chapters)
cause, the thing is, for some people moving away from their red town or state is really the best decision for them. and this book does not acknowledge that nuance, it just perpetuates this false dichotomy of “rural/midwest/south good, coastal blue cities bad!” to the point where it doesn’t even make sense in the context (one of my notes in Libby after samantha had mentioned her hatred of nyc one too many times in an unrelated paragraph was “this is so random why the fuck do you have to mention every ten pages “GOD I HATE NEW YORK””.)
currently my rating is 2 stars but i may actually lower it to 1 after giving it some thought, cause sadly i think this book failed at what it tried. what it does is let samantha rant about places she hates and just about try to guilt marginalized people for leaving their unaccepting towns/states.
one quote that really stood out to me in a bad way was this statement:
“You could re-ban same-sex marriage in Tennessee and make it illegal for me to use the women’s restroom here, but I would still probably choose it over New York. I’d be a lawbreaker, sure, but at least I would have fresh air to breathe and pleasant company to share it with”.
from what i can tell this statement is meant to shock, and yeah it does that. it’s a bold statement, but i also have a lot of issues with it.
firstly i think it’s useful to acknowledge that samantha grew up on the coasts. she came to the south as an adult.
i have a very different perspective  as someone who is both queer and trans who has grown up entirely in the southern US.
growing up not being cis and straight was an incredibly isolating experience where i lived, and i know so many people who have had that experience too. it’s very different to come to the south as a queer and/or trans adult and be able to find community versus growing up here and feeling horrifically isolated. so yeah with all that it’s pretty aggravating and invalidating to see this book essentially act like marginalized people SHOULDN’T leave their red towns/states with zero nuance of “well actually for some people leaving IS the right choice, this is a person by person choice, choose what feels right to you and how you feel safest.”
this is the longest rant review i have ever made jeez, i had a ton to say
edit: cant believe i forgot to mention this BUT: SOME LGBTQ+ PEOPLE CHOOSE TO LIVE IN BIG CITIES FOR COMPLETELY DIFFERENT REASONS THAN BECAUSE THEIR AREA IS NOT ACCEPTING !!! personally living rurally is not really an option for me because i am disabled and need to have access to the medical care i need + live near a good hospital in case of emergencies. i dont want to make this review insanely long (since storygraph has no drop-down option for reviews), but i do have even more points than this. apologies for taking up your entire screen with this review lmao have a good day !!