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booksafety 's review for:
Barbarian
by Onley James
Book safety, content warnings, and tropes down below.
I’m really not sure how to rate this or what to even say. There was some stuff I enjoyed, but I had a huge issue with it as well.
I love codependent friends and boyfriends, and I thought that was done well and felt believable, if not unhealthy at times. Mortal peril also happened, which is always a plus, but couldn’t make up for everything else.
Now, where the book lost me is Mal’s supposed genderfluidity. I’ll add this quote for context:
I’m really not sure how to rate this or what to even say. There was some stuff I enjoyed, but I had a huge issue with it as well.
I love codependent friends and boyfriends, and I thought that was done well and felt believable, if not unhealthy at times. Mortal peril also happened, which is always a plus, but couldn’t make up for everything else.
Now, where the book lost me is Mal’s supposed genderfluidity. I’ll add this quote for context:
“Because my foundation never changes. Who I am at my core is inflexible. My intellect, my beliefs, my view of the world as a whole. But everything else changes based on who I am when I wake up in the morning. All my other parts are interchangeable.” Nico’s brows knitted together. “What kind of other parts?” Mal shrugged. “My hair, my clothes, my gender, my accent, my sexuality… Whenever I wake up, I’m never really sure who I’ll find in the mirror looking back. Most people find that…off-putting.”
Now, I have no issues with a character being genderfluid. I was very much looking forward to that aspect of the story and Mal’s character. The problem is that it was essentially never mentioned again after this quote (on page 8 of 459). I wrongly assumed that how Mal felt when waking up at different times in the book would be a theme, so that we could explore his gender, etc. Apart from doing his makeup once, it’s not brought up. There’s no one way to be genderfluid or queer, of course, but the word ‘pronoun’ isn’t even in the book once. I would’ve expected at least a conversation about what pronouns Mal prefers (only he/him is used).
However, Mal’s ‘changing personality’ is mentioned several times in the book. I wouldn’t normally have a problem with this either (especially not in a book by this author who often writes about personality disorders), but I’m unsure if this is supposed to be his genderfluidity? Because if so, I’m afraid it massively missed the mark and is mixing up mental illness with genderfluid, which is obviously a huge problem.
Mal said his personality shifted daily, but Nico felt like it shifted moment to moment, confusing the fuck out of him. Who was the real Mal? Were all of them him? What was it like living in his head?
“Is—Is this just some personality thing you’re trying on for the night? If it is, tell me now. You know I don’t care.”
Had he always sounded like that? Was it a byproduct of whatever personality Mal had slipped on that morning?
His sensory issues had often made it hard to tolerate other children and his ever fluctuating personality made people uneasy.
I’m definitely no gender expert, but I feel okay saying that being genderfluid isn’t about changing personality from ‘moment to moment’. It’s about your identity and how you feel and/or present your gender. You’re still you. You haven’t picked up an entirely new personality.
Saying Mal is genderfluid feels misleading at best and grossly wrong at worst. I’ll remind peeps of Mal explaining:
“Because my foundation never changes. Who I am at my core is inflexible. My intellect, my beliefs, my view of the world as a whole. […]”
That sounds to me like the exact opposite of a changing personality.
There’s also some pretty intense and rough sex scenes, including degradation, which admittedly isn’t my favorite, which also impacted my enjoyment.
Ugh, I don’t even know. Maybe I’m just wrong? Like I said, there’s no wrong or correct way to feel about gender or sexuality, but it just felt… off.
I haven’t even touched on how little I cared about the actual plot. It all revolves around the MCs trying to save side characters I couldn’t care less about, because we don’t know them. Mal’s whole ‘thing’ is not caring about a single person other than Nico, yet you’re telling me the book is all about trying to save a random student’s mother? I’m not buying it for a second. It's like Mal's entire character is 'out of character', somehow.
Edit: the blurb says Mal is genderfluid, and yet the book is marketed as MM romance.
⬇️ Blanket spoiler warning ⬇️
⚠️ Tropes & content tags ⚠️
Obsession
Neurodivergent MCs
Best friends to lovers
Possessive & protective
Codependency
Soulmates
Degradation
Dancer MC
Praise kink
Rough sex
Snowballing
Cum play
Spanking (domestic discipline)
Edging
Power exchange (Dom/sub)
Figging
Facials
Genderfluid MC
⚠️ Content warning ⚠️
Mention of past imprisonment
Explicit sexual content
Graphic violence
Details of dead body
Off-page murder
Spitting in mouth
Degradation
Face-fucking
Manipulation between MCs
Rough sex
Spanking (domestic discipline)
Hand-collaring
Brief mention of past abuse of MC as a child (physical, emotional, sexual — no details)
Past neglect of MC
Prescription drug use
MC’s mom physically abused (past, few details)
MC beaten and injured (on page)
MC high on painkillers (on page)
Brief mentions of recreational drug use (past)
Breath play (choking on dong)
Alcohol consumption
Mention of SC killing pregnant woman (past)
Mention of SC being abused and raped (coerced, over time, off page)
MC stabbed on page
Restraints during punishment/sex
Face-slapping during sex
Borderline ableist representation (conflating ND and genderfluidity with mental illness)
⚠️Book safety ⚠️
Cheating: No
Other person drama: It’s mentioned that Nico has attempted hooking up with other men during their 1 year of friendship since they met (before a relationship), but he never went through with it. Nothing on page, no details.
Breakup: No
POV: 3rd person, dual
Genre: Dark-ish romance
Pairing: M/M
Strict roles or versatile: Versatile
Main characters’ age: (maybe) 26 and unknown (Mal is older)
Series: Interconnected standalone
Kindle Unlimited: For 3 months before going wide
Pages: 459
Happy ending: Yes