After sitting on this a while, I feel like the rating needs to be changed to reflect the book more accurately, from 3.5 to 3. 

check tw/cw: assault, bullying, death of parent 

Coming off the Hidden Scars audiobook I was pretty excited to get into Brendon and Paul's story. It started pretty intense and had some good moments, but I lost me a bit in the plot and pacing. 

Paul has been in love with Brendon for years. Now as they're teammates and roommates, they spend almost all of their time together. Brendon quickly realizes his feelings as well. But even though they're together, they still have their own demons to fight to give their best to their relationship. 

While they didn't make the best choices all the time, Brendan and Paul really did love each other. They didn't have a super healthy relationship until the very very end, but that connection was there. They got together pretty quickly, but still had their own issues they needed to sort out. Even with everything going on, inside and out, they tried to be there for each other as much as they could. They had sweet cuddles and tender moments, and truly cared about one another. 

There were a handful of things that didn't work for me. First, everything seemed thrown together. It didn't have the best flow and the pace was pretty slow by the end. 

I mentioned they got together quickly, which is fine sometimes but I felt like they brought all their issues into the relationship. It made it almost toxic at times since they were pretty codependent. 

I liked Brendon, but he was almost too immature for me, he really avoided any and all responsibility and I'm not sure that could all be chalked up to his mental health challenges. Also neither of the big plot lines surrounded him had any closure. It was very anti-climatic. 

I see people saying this has mental health rep, and while Brendon does have some general anxiety and maybe other things happening, it's never addressed or labeled. Both Paul and Brendon could use some therapy. Their relationship was kind of a mess because they kept dragging their unresolved issues into it. 

Even with all that, I liked reading most of it. Preston and Jeremy were involved a lot as side characters which I loved. The dog was really cute and I laugh over Seymour/Senor Butts. Curious to see where this series goes next. 

Read if you like: 
• friends to lovers 
• hurt/comfort 
• hockey