This is cheap smut. If you’re into that, you’ll love this novel. I am not. It was entirely unexpected. I was hoping for a continued thickening plot akin to that which the first novel in the series held out and promised...Highly disappointed.

Don’t even care what happens in a third— the last few pages of this one finally bothered to connect to the first book plot—the rest was a Rohypnol-induced crazy train of sexual abuse and the fantasies of a darkly disturbed person.

I listened to the audiobook.

Well. I loved the first 2 books in her other series (Stalking Jack the Ripper)—good entertainment with purposeful plot and fun characters. This is a massive shift to something (un)whole(some)ly other.

Also, 16hrs. I mean, come on… and nary a point to ponder.

Music was distracting and juvenile considering the *adult* (and I mean like adult in the way you pass those  ‘Adults Only’ stops I75) content. I’ve never read Fiddy Shades, but imagine that—then add creepy violins with the woman from the crystal ball room in the Haunted Mansion telling the story. Since I listen on 3x speed, that was a real trip. Was like Curly, Larry and Mo reenacting a star-crossed lovers’ tragedy.

-.-

Unnecessary. A resounding no to music in audiobooks.

16hrs people…. (only 5.5h at my speed, but still, that’s 3+ football matches—a far better expenditure of my time)…

—2hrs of plot development (aka some drippings throughout that lead you to a wow-we-finally-get -to-the-point teaser on the last pages indicating Surprise!—an upcoming third installation. Note to persistent curious readers: if you’re interested in the actual plot from the first novel, which was interesting back then in book one with the culture and the cooking, the crafty Nonna and family dynamics, and the restaurant—begin at the last hour of this racy recording. You won’t miss much.)

—12hrs of cringe-worthy (or laugh-put-loud/gag) good girl (?) premarital (the point is made) “non-sex” (really?) drivel, I can’t even— lengthy descriptions of stuff you’d find in Hugh Hefner’s library. Oh that’s probs not fair to the man. I tried to see the connections with Dante and Milton—cause the intent was there, but then it just stripped itself naked (literally, about 20x) of literary quality and went💥on such a destructive level of self-sabotage it makes Judges 19  look like a Sandra Boynton.

Do not give this book to your teenager. Let them read Dante Alighieri and John Milton for realz—and engage their imagination (imagination not required in this reading) and increase their wisdom rather than knowledge (cause the girl in this book knows a buttload of stuff about the gospel, but she’s colossally unwise when it comes to making choices). 

—1hr of room/clothing descriptions (just described details, and not in the sense they might have something to do with the story like how Anne Brontë tells you about Wildfell Hall to increase the sense of imprisonment Helen experiences, or how Charlotte describes the strange gardens and off-limits corridors of Rochester’s mansion to pique Jane’s curiosity. Nope. Not like that. Just like, the demon named Envy has a lot of green stuff in his house —all shades of green and silver, and naked people laid out with chocolate chips drenched on their ‘apex’ and whipping creme on their—— stuff like that…)

—1hr of orgies with other minor characters/additional bodies, and the seven brothers of hell who all have the same intonation and personality

But sometimes it’s DAMNABLY entertaining to read something of this calibre so you can contemplate what you think is tip-top and what you think is twaddle.

This is a 5-star on the scale of twaddle.

Give your young or newly adult children Milton and Dante, and for heaven’s sake, let them read Frankenstein!!!