Strayed’s style is extremely empathetic and tender. I was surprised by the way she so often begins her replies by expressing her sorrow at the horrible things or hard times shared by those who write in. I don’t read advice columns very often, but her level of compassion and thoughtfulness surpassed my initial expectations. I also enjoyed how she often weaves in extremely personal stories which tie into how she reflects on answering the question. Strayed is always kind, but doesn’t hold back either. When she tells her readers they need to do better, it is in a way that reads as empowering and uplifting. Rather than “you need to do better because how you’re acting is bad,” she exhorts the letter writers to do better because they are good and capable of doing so. I love how she frames being the problem as a positive, because you’re the only person you have the power to actually change.

I didn’t love the experience of reading this collection straight through. As I started to feel bogged down in the repetition of the format, the spark of reading each letter lost some of its luster. I think this collection would be better enjoyed if read more slowly over a longer period of time, but that is not really how I like to read books.