I was not expecting to do a near-180 on my opinion of this book! But otherwise, this review would’ve turned out a lot different.

I’m surprised at how well the complexity of queer self-discovery was handled! Not only are a multitude of romantic and sexual orientations, as well as genders, discussed in this book, each character clearly has different levels of progress on figuring out themselves. Some are out and proud, like Xiuyung. Some figure out a label for themselves that works, like Uriah. And some have a rough idea of where they fit, but still have a long ways to go and aren’t rushing their personal journey, like our main character Alex! But I think I lost track of all the different coming out scenes, lol. (Hey, it was definitely the right choice to make this take place in a college with mostly first-years in the cast.)

I also appreciated the mental health representation, even if it was excruciating to be inside Alex’s head at times. Their anxiety symptoms, coupled with what seems to be autism linked to how they process their emotions or get overwhelmed by them, reminded me so much of a particular loved one in my life. Their self-deprecating dialogue was all stuff I’d thought or heard before. Please check the trigger warnings if you’re sensitive to content like that, the author is transparent about it and gives a list before the start of the novel. (Leaving out the person I thought of for privacy, but I’ll be checking on him a little extra after (unintentionally) getting some insight into a bit of how his brain might work.)

And also, Tate’s relationship with Alex!!💕💕T4T sweetness, his patience and understanding was shown well when they got together, and in some of the more tense scenes re: Alex’s mental health. But it still never felt like he was only there to regulate them. They were relatively healthy. I loved their casal intimacy in certain scenes, like when Alex was opening up to him and playing with Tate’s hair as they talked.

But unfortunately, I didn’t give this a higher rating because as much as I appreciate the important discussions to be had, I really disliked the writing style… It felt juvenile at times, and sometimes the pacing felt wonky in-between chapters. I almost DNF’ed this book before Alex’s gender crisis because of that(and combining it with the consistent negative self-talk). And outside of the more meaningful coming out scenes or identity discussions, the dialogue felt very stilted.

I’m also not really one for character-driven stories, I prefer ones that are a mix between plot and character-focused, but this is very much a slice-of-life. If you’re a reader that finds that genre boring, I don’t recommend reading this. This is more of a personal gripe/preference, though, so I’m keeping it separate from my other critiques.

To whoever may be reading this: I’m on the fence about my opinion of this book, so rather than taking my review as a recommendation to either ignore or check it out, feel free to form your own opinion based on what you would like to read personally! It’s different from my other reviews, in that regard.