This is a really well done book and I appreciate Gillies's perspective, but I don't think I ever once wanted to be reading it. I personally lived through a situation similar to what Gillies did here (I was not the primary caregiver, but old enough to have plenty of caregiving responsibilities). My grandmother with dementia moved in with my family in my late teens and stayed there through her decline until her death. So much of what Gillies described in this book rang true, sometimes it almost felt like she was describing my situation instead of her own. But I'm not sure it really added anything to me. I don't think I got much out of this. It mostly just made me think about my grandmother's last days which made me sad, but not in a productive way.

I'm not entirely certain who the correct audience is, who I should recommend it to. I feel like because of how well done the book is, there ought to be someone, but I can't think of any. It's not really offering instruction on how to be a caregiver, nor is it offering a particularly unique perspective. It's well written and captures what it's like to be a caregiver, but for what purpose? I don't mean this as a negative to Gillies or her writing because I think she accomplished what she was trying to do (paint a portrait of her own experience), but I'm just missing the point for myself.

I think she did a wonderful job of writing about the negative aspects of caregiving, and the abuse you experience. I also think she did a good job of portraying the constant guilt, the depression, the wearing down of yourself as everything becomes about caregiving.

I do wish she'd included a little bit more of the rest of the household. This book is primarily focused on her (as primary caregiver) and her relationship with her parents in law, especially Nancy who as Alzheimer's. But her husband and three children also live there and their exclusion from so much of the book makes it feel like you're missing a large part of the story.

I should also add that there are long sections specifically about the science of Alzheimer's and I mostly wound up skipping those. Science is not my forte and those sections were nearly always separate from the parts about her life.

I'm not really sure about my overall feelings on this book. I didn't enjoy reading it and I don't think I gained very much from reading it, but I do think it's well done. So if you're interested, perhaps this will do more for you than it did for me.