Rewatching Carol is a Christmastime tradition for me, and this year I decided that I should finally get around to reading the novel that inspired what I consider to be the swooniest holiday movie ever.

The plot follows seasonal shop girl Therese as she becomes entangled with Carol, a glamorous thirtysomething in the midst of a contentious divorce. Though Carol gets top billing in the retitle, the story is Therese's: her growing consciousness of what she wants from life and relationships, her varying states of dependence and independence, and her coming into herself as a woman. Book Therese was significantly more interesting to me than movie Therese, likely because although she is physically passive for a lot of the things happening to and around her, she's internally processing everything, and the book grants the reader access to those thoughts and conflicts.

I related a lot to Therese, to her insecurities and doubts and realizations. There were multiple instances where I thought, "Yes, that's exactly how that feels, that's exactly what it's like." And I love moments like that, when I feel kinship to queer history.

I also love that Highsmith flouted the conventions of her time to give this novel a hopeful ending. And that the prose is so well-crafted, each detail selected so carefully. I just really love this book. It makes me want to wear a fur coat at a Christmas tree stand and go on a cross-country road trip.