Review by not_nosferatu - The Immortal Part of Myself

not_nosferatu 's review for:

The Immortal Part of Myself by MJ James

3.25

adventurous emotional tense slow-paced

Plot or Character Driven: Character

Strong character development: Complicated

Loveable characters: Yes

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: Complicated

Won an ebook copy through a Storygraph Giveaway.

Despite this review being mostly criticisms I tracked throughout, I want to start off that I like this book. I genuinely like this one. A spaceship was the perfect setting for the Present, and the characters were (mostly) believable. If you were looking for something to fill the Corpo-vs-Hippie Sci-Fi void, this would definitely leave you satisfied.

Dialogue is stunted and somewhat wonky at times (Ex. lack of contractions between friends and no one using you'll/I'll like. Ever.), making the writing fall flat, especially with characters under the age of 15. Some punctuation and grammar mistakes, some misspellings/typos. Should've gotten one more person to proofread, especially since some of those misspellings were the names of several different characters. There were also some moments that are actually pretty consequential, but they're written in a blink-and-you-miss-it way.

I'm not a fan of insta-love so Matty's Romance didn't really do it for me, but it's not an issue with this book specifically.

Mars is SUPER into the social contract of tolerance and is touted as a Progressive™️ utopia to an almost annoying degree, which is interesting given that they let Earth run basically labor camps on Mars. 20 years of going no-contact with Earth had no ill effects as far as we were told, so what did Mars have to gain that they can't get from Earth (no currency so by barter only?) to warrant allowing this? Hell, why do the corporations even need to have a presence on Mars outside of diplomacy and social work?

Super nit-picky detail from Chp 9- Tape can't be bioluminescent, unless in this universe tape is alive somehow.

Claiming a vice-president position was left open for years so a grandson can take it is …..weird, considering how competitive things are supposed to be with Earth Corporations and that he won't take it until he has some experience, which would take even longer.

I have A LOT of questions about how 'women aren't allowed to enter legal agreements and aren't typically taught how to read' works, since there are moments in the book that come into direct conflict and occasionally outright contradiction (especially with TKR corp).

Chp 30 should've been moved. It really broke the narrative flow.

Content Warnings