The very first sentence of the very first story is a winner ("Elaine takes the boys to Florida and drops them off like they're dry cleaning.") and the rest of the book continues to delight from there. That's the beauty of Homes's writing; the sentences are simple, barely descriptive, and yet evocative.

ADULTS ALONE
"They are alone together, trapped in their bed." If that isn't the saddest true story of many couples with children, I don't know what is. #smarmychildfree

When your life is looking disarmingly white and suburban, turn to crack. It's definitely the solution you're looking for!

LOOKING FOR JOHNNY
Boy gets kidnapped and then returned like a defective microwave.

CHUNKY IN HEAT
"Her thighs rub together even in her thoughts." Despite the subject matter, this was very ... whimsical.

JIM TRAIN
"[pisses on potted plant] It is his ritual, his salvation." Well, whatever works for you, dude. Anxiety manifests in all sorts of ways.

THE BULLET CATCHER
So this is what a mid-life crisis looks like from the inside.

YOURS TRULY
"I'm hiding in the linen closet writing love letters to myself." This is the most cerebral of the collection, the meat of the story taking place in thoughts and feelings of a single character rather than actions and reactions. Because I am a Philistine, it is also my least favorite.

ESTER IN THE NIGHT
I mean ... I don't blame her.

SLUMBER PARTY
"... older brother Robert was leaning over the grill, attending to the chicken pieces with the kind of precision and committment seen only in boys in their very late teens who are determined once and for all to do something right."

This has literally no bearing on the rest of the story, but it is my very favorite line.

THE I OF IT
"From the time I first noticed that it filled me with warmth as I twirled my fingers over its top, I felt I had a friend." You and every other person with a dick, dude.

Basically A.M. Homes writes about ordinary people doing the weird shit ordinary people do when they think no one's around (like a grown man sucking his thumb for comfort, by totally random example, Jim). Or you know, a whole lot of masturbation.