Take a photo of a barcode or cover
sarakomo 's review for:
2022: a great introductory background to asexuality that was frustratingly broad in its scope
This is a well researched and fascinating discussion of sexuality. I don't know if I would have picked it up if not for it being recommended from a book club I'm a part of, but I am glad I did. Basically, the big takeaway is that EVERYTHING is a spectrum and you just have to find out where you fit on it. And that it's okay for that to change as you live and experience and grow, and if you're looking for a partner, you need to be able to communicate where you are on that spectrum with them. Okay, that I can get behind!
The main issue that I had here is not really with this well written book; it's with the author's thesis of the definition of asexuality. Chen spends the whole book saying that all of her definitions are purposefully kept loose and they all overlap with each other and you can be all of these things and none of these things at the same time... which was a very frustrating read. I understand that she is trying to expand the way asexuality is viewed by the typical allo person, but it would have been nice if there had been some conclusions drawn along the way.
I loved her clarifications between sex drive and sexual attraction being similar to the difference between being hungry and craving something specific. I also loved her examples of when you grow up in the Church (especially the Catholic one) your options presented to you are either having sex all the time and making a ton of babies, or you're celibate and a priest / nun. What if you fall somewhere in the middle? ACE did a great job of exploring all of the different steps in between constant sex with everyone and sex with no one.
Overall, I connected more with [b:Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life|22609341|Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life|Emily Nagoski|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1421037685l/22609341._SY75_.jpg|42099345] which I would still wholeheartedly recommend to anyone having sex with someone with a vagina. ACE was eye-opening and interesting, frustrating and helpful at the same time. I am left in complete agreement with Chen's assessment that the only people to whom it should matter how much you are having sex are the people in the relationship with you. *snaps*
This is a well researched and fascinating discussion of sexuality. I don't know if I would have picked it up if not for it being recommended from a book club I'm a part of, but I am glad I did. Basically, the big takeaway is that EVERYTHING is a spectrum and you just have to find out where you fit on it. And that it's okay for that to change as you live and experience and grow, and if you're looking for a partner, you need to be able to communicate where you are on that spectrum with them. Okay, that I can get behind!
The main issue that I had here is not really with this well written book; it's with the author's thesis of the definition of asexuality. Chen spends the whole book saying that all of her definitions are purposefully kept loose and they all overlap with each other and you can be all of these things and none of these things at the same time... which was a very frustrating read. I understand that she is trying to expand the way asexuality is viewed by the typical allo person, but it would have been nice if there had been some conclusions drawn along the way.
I loved her clarifications between sex drive and sexual attraction being similar to the difference between being hungry and craving something specific. I also loved her examples of when you grow up in the Church (especially the Catholic one) your options presented to you are either having sex all the time and making a ton of babies, or you're celibate and a priest / nun. What if you fall somewhere in the middle? ACE did a great job of exploring all of the different steps in between constant sex with everyone and sex with no one.
Overall, I connected more with [b:Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life|22609341|Come as You Are The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life|Emily Nagoski|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1421037685l/22609341._SY75_.jpg|42099345] which I would still wholeheartedly recommend to anyone having sex with someone with a vagina. ACE was eye-opening and interesting, frustrating and helpful at the same time. I am left in complete agreement with Chen's assessment that the only people to whom it should matter how much you are having sex are the people in the relationship with you. *snaps*