Published 15 years before his penultimate novel, The Things They Carried, the book If I Die in a Combat Zone is the narratively linear account of O'Brien's journey through Vietnam. The novel covers the span of time between the draft notice, through service wandering through the villages of Vietnam after a largely unknown and unseen enemy, and back home to the United States. It's easy to tell this story was written before The Things They Carried. It focuses more clearly on the dilemma of the morality of war, or more specifically, the moral and spiritual consequences of fighting an unjust war.

But don't let that fool you. The story is told very lightly for such a compelling driving question. It lacks the mystically of the later novel, but I actually enjoyed the more linear narrative. I think this is a good companion to read alongside The Things They Carried.

I wish very much that I had discovered O'Brien's books before my grandfather passed away. O'Brien was a drafted enlisted man, a Private, so I know his experienced varied from my grandfather's a "lifer" officer who wasn't crammed through OCS in two months like O'Brien's commanding officers. Still, I feel like O'Brien's stories may be the closest I'll ever get to this period of my grandfather's life and to answering questions I will always have about his experiences, such as why he always carried a bullet in his leg instead of having it surgically removed. Everyone who survived that war carried it with them until the end, or carry it still.

I'm grateful for this book.