3 stars

This a book that I would enjoy analyzing upon a re-read. I connected to the themes and what the author was trying to say more than I connected to Marianne and Connell. This meant that I was a bit lost and bored during the first half of the book, and I also didn’t like the lack of kindness in Connell. But I enjoyed the second half much more. I found Marianne’s character and her arc more interesting than Connell’s. I could understand the path of self destruction she was on, I interpreted it as her disliking herself so much that she put herself into precarious situations of violence so she can feel punished, numb and also to see if there is a limit to how far she’ll self destruct, a part of her that likes her and want to self-preserve when in the face of too much violence. I think in Sweden she found that breaking point. Although I think by the end of the book Connell had developed and changed ahead of Marianne. He had aspirations to be a writer and made friends with those shared interests, his entire being was no longer just about Marianne; he also became kinder to an extent which was good to see. But for Marianne, she still had some healing to do in my opinion. Her world still revolves around Connell, what were the hobbies she liked to do outside of him, what were her career goals and life goals, or did she have none and why did she feel that way, where were here friends with shared interests? All this we didn’t get to see her grow towards. I would have loved to see her going to therapy, building her self esteem up more throughout her life and making friends with shared interests.

It made sense to me why they couldn’t work out in the many multiple times they tried, they had to learn how to grow towards one another. And you really see the way they’ve developed better communication skills after Rob’s funeral. I would loved if the book followed them across the decades of their lives.
Overall this was an interesting read once we got to the second half of the story. I would like to re-read it but I don’t know if I’d find any more themes and things to analyze than from my first read. I think buddy reading this book would be a good experience, especially discussing your different opinions on the characters and reasons behind their behaviour.

Surprisingly, the lack of speech marks/quotations did not bother me at all. I don’t know whether it made me read slower or faster, nor whether it added or took away from the reading experience.

Edit Feb 2025: After revisiting the attachment styles, I think Marianne's self destructive behaviour and Connell's coldness paired with their terrible communication styles is evidence for Marianne having a disorganized attachment style and Connell an avoidant one. This makes me realise why they didn't work out since they never worked towards becoming more secure, so much time has passed but they as people have not grown when it comes to becoming more emotionally intelligent about themselves, their relationships and how they act within them and that's why the book felt stagnant.