“The Church Of The Mountain Of Flesh” has got to be one of the most unique reading experiences I’ve had. I can best describe it as a fever dream that is horrifying and erotic in equal parts. (Or, for a more SFW description, it’s like the feeling of walking into a comic shop as a kid, looking through stuff you’re definitely too young for, exposing yourself to horror comics for the first time, and after you leave, being left with this trailing feeling of dread over seeing something you didn’t know it could be written or drawn.)

Sole was an engaging character to follow, he is a rare case of a purposefully unlikeable MC that I still loved. (Which is an incredible feat, considering as he’s barely sympathetic.) I was in an interesting zone between wanting to root for him, and wanting other people to retaliate against him even if I knew the narrative wouldn’t be in their favor. His grief, morphing terror (and eventual madness), and animalistic desperation to transition were so strong that it was sometimes uncomfortable: There isn’t a moment in his POV where there doesn’t seem to be some raw, festering emotion, the main varying factor is his level of awareness or self-loathing around it. I feel that the scenes of him leading the church are a good mix of psychoanalysis material, and unreliable narration. 

The cast is a bit extensive, so it was difficult for me to keep track of all the characters sometimes (also because they’re Italian, and I’m not used to reading Italian words and names), but the few of them that Sole regards as friends or important people stuck with me. I understand Malacresta being a fan favorite, although I gravitated towards Ersilio, possibly because he seems to be one of the more caring and reasonable people in the cast? He was the most different from his younger self, and I thought his dynamic with Sole was especially interesting —he wasn’t exactly someone to agree with Sole’s decisions, but he was still empathetic enough towards him that it made him susceptible to manipulation. (Also, Sole’s attachment to him was a little gay-coded…) I know it being tragic is the point, but I’m pissed about his fate.

I really loved the progression of other characters’ relationships with Sole, too, the familiarity and tight-knit nature of the village made a couple changes in dynamic really stand out to me. Especially with Prasede and Sole’s relationship, the domino effect of it was so strange and unexpected. My only gripe is that I feel as if the characters sometimes acted younger than their ages. 

Unsure how to feel about Nene. Sole has a softness for him specifically that you never see directed towards any other character, despite their relationship being Chernobyl-toxic, but the progression towards it was so strangely-structured? He was also a little too mystified by the narrative, in my opinion. (For a portion of the book, it was difficult to pinpoint his character.) He also ties into an issue I have with the horror and the writing style as a whole, which is that it’s so wrapped up in being something both beautiful and incomprehensible that it is sometimes painful to read. I can’t tell if it’s just a result of me struggling with imagining something so eldritch and impossible, though, so take this with a grain of salt?? I wouldn’t say the prose is purple, but I feel there should’ve been an additional round of editing because of the amount of run-on sentences. I’m glad that there were illustrations, not just because I thought they looked awesome, but I desperately needed the visual aid sometimes😭

(Nene losing his humanity over time was so interesting, though!!! I thought it was written very well and I loved Sole’s gradual realization. oughhh the anguish. I anticipate revisiting this one day so I can better pinpoint when Nene isn’t himself anymore.)

I have a couple other issues, which aren’t many but they’re still major enough for me to dock my rating. Firstly, without spoiling the ending too much, there were several full-circle moments, and I thought the parallels were a little overdone?? The last part of the book is very unambiguous, so it didn’t muddy what happened, but I was confused at how much of it was cyclical? Is there some meaning in that? (Probably.) Secondly, the past-tense chapters were confusing to me. The book design meant that I was never confused about something being in the past or present, but the timeline wasn’t exactly set in stone at a couple points. For example, it could be hard to tell if a certain character could still be acting the way they were because they were 19 and decided to get married, or they were just immature? 

Overall, though, this was really cool, and I see potential for Kyle Wakefield as an author. I don’t think I can find an unabashedly trans and trippy story like this one in the traditional publishing world.

There are two moments that will haunt my dreams: Nene’s head hanging upside down from his monstrous body on the crypt walls, and Sole being forcibly detransitioned in front of everyone to test his faith.