This is how cognitive dissonance must feel like. 
The feeling of this novel is like walking home drunk, you sort of know where to go and where you are, but the world is blurry and you lost the connection to your own self. 
I can’t even say what the novel is about - it is about everything, once you think you know what a certain plot symbolizes, you have another thought that also matches another symbol. And everything is great about it, like looking at a painting in 3D - you discover something new every time. 
I wish I could be as smart as Mona Awad, because she is certainly brilliant.